Lack of sex has made me cheat on my partner. Do I just leave him?
Q. Hi My partner of 6 yrs does not have sex with me at all. He says he just can't be arsed and does not have any interest in sex. I have lived like this for 5 yrs with him. I the first yr he rarely did have sex with me. We are 50 and 51. I have s...
A. 29 July 2018: What do you do? You grow up and accept you are an adult and start acting like one. You seem to use people without any qualms or regrets.
I assume you have stayed with your partner all these years for the financial security? And one of your mai... (read in full...)
Can a married man truly love you or is it just lust?
Q. I have a boyfried but I met a married man in my company and we are quite close. Very soon after this married man knows me, he told me he have feelings for me. Like he just realize I am his true love, the one he wants to protect and pamper with his ...
A. 28 July 2018: I think you know EXACTLY what you need to do but you just don't WANT to do it.
Firstly, you need to get rid of the boyfriend who you don't love, and with whom you see no future. What is the point of staying with him? His job searching is not your... (read in full...)
Not interested in a boyfriend. Is that okay?
Q. Im 25 and i never had a boyfriend. Since my teenage years, i was never worried about dating or having a boyfriend, i would only focus my self on studying and making myself happy. I started going on dates since i was 19, and i would say, we would go ...
A. 28 July 2018: Isn't it amazing how people will try to put others "in boxes" and make them fit THEIR picture of how things SHOULD be? It makes me laugh and a bit sad at the same time.
Not being interested in having multiple boyfriends does not make you a lesbia... (read in full...)
Should I be worried by how bothered he's getting over friend's problems?
Q. Hi everyone hope everyone is well I’ve got a problem and looking for some advice my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years we got talking about one our friends last night we’ve known her about 6 months my boyfriend smokes weed and so does ...
A. 28 July 2018: My primary worry in this situation is who is looking after her children when she is out (smoking weed or whatever else)?
Why have you not confronted your boyfriend about this yet? Are you afraid of what you may find out?
For the record, no, ... (read in full...)
I feel the need to have a child but I want it to be my lover's not my husband's
Q. DO NOT JUDGE I am female, 34 years..i am married to a man-boy kinda of husband (45 years) who has no clue how to raise children..we have two..one mine and the first one is his...his past time is drinking....but he come through with finances......
A. 27 July 2018: I need to ask a question out of interest, because I cannot imagine the answer myself. On what planet did you think that involving a lover - and potentially having a child with him - is going to make anything about your situation any better? Do you ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever had a break with their partner and what was the outcome?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and last night he told me he wasn’t feeling the same. We had a talk about this a few weeks ago and had planned to work it out. But he had told me last night that he didn’t want to keep it ...
A. 26 July 2018: In most cases, a "break" just puts off the inevitable - a break UP.
It usually means that at least one of the parties concerned wants to end the relationship completely but either doesn't have the backbone to do it quickly and cleanly (possibl... (read in full...)
The rude barista misbehaved with me and my husband took her side!!
Q. Hi, I need help to understand a meaning of a conflict with my husband, who is completely in denial, and not compassionate with me,.. This is of-course not the only issue , we have but this one put me over the edge.. So few days ago I ordered...
A. 25 July 2018: Oh sweetheart. I feel your pain and your stress. Anxiety attacks come in all shapes and sizes and your outburst was just anxiety and stress surfacing.
It was not really ABOUT the coffee, was it? It was about having your feelings validate... (read in full...)
How do I keep my ex out of my house?
Q. My 11yrs old son became very upset today because he thought my ex-husband and I were arguing. This is what happend: my ex brought my son to the doctors to get his annual check up today at 1:00pm. He planned to drop my son off at my house at around 3...
A. 25 July 2018: Is there a neighbour or family member or friend who lives nearby, where your kids could go when your ex picks them up/drops them off? Then you could change the locks on your house and have done with his snooping.
It is a tricky situatio... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy tilts his head while he's smiling you?
Q. My guy friend and I were sitting together in a room by ourselves and we were facing each other. After he was done talking to me, we both became silent and stared into each other's eyes. He was staring at me for about 10 seconds and I was starting to ...
A. 25 July 2018: Perhaps you should ask him girlfriend why he was staring at you like that while you were alone in a room together? I am sure she will have a view on it.
Sweetheart, he is in a relationship. Don't mess with him, and don't allow him to mess with YOU... (read in full...)
For 3 years I have lied to my boyfriend about my surname
Q. I have been lying to my boyfriend about my surname for this whole time (3 years) and I feel really guilty. I have introduced myself with my mother's surname. My name is quite infamous so I don't like to let people know about my family. I started ...
A. 25 July 2018: You could have actually changed your surname to the one you have been using during that period if it had been that important to you, then there would be no problem now. However, as you have chosen not to do that, then you need to tell him - and ... (read in full...)
I'm too shy to tell my boyfriend that some dominant sex acts are painful to me
Q. My boyfriend have always been into dominant sex. Recently, he was asking me to slap him during sex, i found it really odd but i did anyways. We do love each other, however, his dominance in bed is sometimes painful. Im too shy to tell him to calm ...
A. 25 July 2018: Unless you are putting on a really good act and pretending you love what he is doing to you, if he has half a brain he must realize you are not enjoying yourself. Problem is, HE is enjoying himself and he really doesn't care about you. You are just ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of my boyfriend always being on his phone and never paying attention
Q. My bf of 4 years is always on his phone. He is completely addicted to this dragonball game he downloaded 2years ago. He has literally had his phone in his hand every waking moment since. I find this very unattractive. He's 30 years old and although ...
A. 24 July 2018: You find his behaviour pathetic and unattractive, yet he is not prepared to change at all. What are you waiting for? What you are getting from this relationship? You would be less lonely on your own.
Why should he treat you any better when you... (read in full...)
Would this behavior be considered cheating?
Q. a man and a woman are otherwise commited to other people, they flirt with each other on a regular basis for three years. There is no touching however, and the flirting is largely acting nervous like school kids around each other. smiling like ...
A. 24 July 2018: Have you and this lady told your partners about this "harmless" flirting? If not, then why not? After all, neither of you have any intention of doing anything about it (allegedly) so why the secrecy?
And how would you feel if YOUR partner ... (read in full...)
I told my married female friend that I'd never date a woman with children (she has them) and now she's blown me off
Q. I have a female friend who's married with children. I've known her for 5 years and we work at the same company. I speak to her maybe 2-3 times a week and we usually go for coffee at least once a week. I am very fond of her, I would say I love...
A. 24 July 2018: Should you forget her and move on? Perhaps you should ask her husband and children? I bet they have no idea about her friendship with you.
Your friendship was inappropriate. She is a MARRIED woman. Her husband should be the one offering her a sh... (read in full...)
Still have feelings for ex after 7 years
Q. I still have feelings for an ex I dated over 7 years ago. She was the first girl I dated and we broke up because I was a jealous person. Over the past 7 years I’ve dated other girls and I’m in a relationship now however I regularly think about my ...
A. 24 July 2018: If your heart is not in your current relationship, then you need to end things instead of stringing someone along.
I suspect the reasons you still think/dream of your first girlfriend are probably 3-fold. Firstly, she was your first girlfrie... (read in full...)
In love with someone else whilst in a relationship with someone I am not in love with
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months now. We get on really well as companions and friends, we really care about eachother and are affectionate. I know he loves me and i feel safe with him. The longstanding issue has become ...
A. 24 July 2018: This is not an "either/or" situation. It is not a case of being either with one guy or the other.
Your poor boyfriend deserves more than you can give him. Also, YOU deserve to be with someone who you love deeply and passionately, not someone ... (read in full...)
How can I let go of other people’s opinions
Q. How can I let go of these friends opinions and gossip? I Am Eastern European and I used to hang out with women from my culture that were gossipy and the only goal in life was to get married and show off. I have fallen into hard times and my fam...
A. 24 July 2018: My parents were Eastern European descent. Reading your description of your "friends" brought back so many memories from my childhood. Memories of my mother crying because of the vicious gossip and bullying from her group of "friends". The constant ... (read in full...)
I think my friend is seeing my ex.
Q. Hi all, Come to this site sometimes when level headed and anonymous advice is needed so here goes. Some years back I was involved with this guy for awhile. We drifted apart and then I moved to another part of the country.I thought e was ...
A. 23 July 2018: If he is an ok guy, and you didn't part on bad terms, wouldn't it be nice if he found himself someone nice - like this friend? They are two nice people; why should they not get together? Are you, perhaps, jealous? Or do you still have feelings for ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex send me flowers? We broke up 6 months ago
Q. Why did my ex send me flowers we broke up 6 months ago I blocked his number and we both agreed to no contact. He moved to another county. We dated for 1.5+ I did not say thank you or anything when he sent the flowers. I know I should of that’s...
A. 23 July 2018: If you have agreed to no contact, then stick to your resolve. It is NOT bad manners to not acknowledge an unwanted gift. He is banking on you feeling you SHOULD make contact to thank him. Don't fall into the trap. He has not changed. He is still the ... (read in full...)
How can I tell this online friends to just leave me alone?
Q. Hello I have an issue with a guy I met on Facebook. He is from Africa and talks a lot. I talk to him sometimes just to be friendly. He tells me hes in love and wants me to visit him there. I havent agreed to do anything with him or ever told...
A. 23 July 2018: Seriously? You don't realize this is some sort of a scam? He is getting angry because you are not allowing him to control you and he feels you might slip away.
Are you really so desperate for conversation that you need to keep contact with thi... (read in full...)
Should I block/delete/or give him a chance?
Q. I think i already know what advice i will be given but sometimes it helps being told what i wouldnt really want to know. A friend with benefits got back in contact with me recently we are both still very single. He told me he wants to be more ...
A. 23 July 2018: I have to ask, is your profile age correct? Are you really in your late 30s? I read your post and thought it was a teenager posting.
Sweetheart, you are an ADULT woman and, more importantly, a MOTHER. Why are you playing silly immature "games" ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm done with him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year. Everything was great at the beginning, however, the past few months I've been feeling very turned off and disappointed by him. He had always claimed he's the good guy, until he was out with his ...
A. 22 July 2018: Come on, you KNOW what to do. You KNOW there is no future with this guy. You KNOW he has blown it by his behaviour. You KNOW you no longer want to be in this relationship.
So you made a mistake by taking him back because you felt sorry for him.... (read in full...)
My ex brings his new girlfriend(who he cheated on me with) when he comes to babysit our kids in my absence
Q. My ex and I share 4 year twin girls and although he cheated on me and is now with the person he cheated on me with, we have a reasonable relationship. Recently he has started bringing his new girlfriend round to my house when he looks after them whe...
A. 22 July 2018: If he is only there "in body, but not in spirit" when he has his girlfriend with him, there is probably more harm being done than good to your twins. It would probably be less harmful to them if he stayed away completely when his girlfriend has her ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my long-term girlfriend that I'm secretly gay and have had affairs with men?
Q. Hi everyone.. Im looking for some genuine advice, if anyone would be so kind.. How do i come out and tell my long term girlfriend that I've had an affairs with men? I know its wrong, and i shouldn't have lied to myself and her, but i fou...
A. 22 July 2018: For crying out loud, make up your mind what you want (or, more exactly WHO you want) and let this poor girl go so she can find someone who not only loves her but can stay faithful to her.
Being confused about your sexuality is NOT an excuse f... (read in full...)
Is it time to distance myself from this friend?
Q. I know this is going to sound petty, but my best friend is getting married and I’m starting to think she’s using the whole thing to try to get to me. I’m beginning to feel unwelcome. She hasn’t got many friends as she is the type of person that ...
A. 22 July 2018: You are quite obviously not happy with this friend, otherwise you would not be asking the question on a forum. I always find it strange when people prefer to be with someone unsuitable (be it a friendship or other relationship) than being without a ... (read in full...)
He changed his work number after we argued so I can’t call him!
Q. Hello, I'd like some advice on a current situation I have here. My boyfriend is a Uber driver. He has two phones, a personal phone for his family and friends, and a work phone he uses for Uber. I'm the only one that has both phone numbers. When he'...
A. 21 July 2018: "WHY would he only be willing to give me his new Uber number only if I got him the Airpods?"
Because he is using you for a meal ticket and manipulating you into buying stuff for him?... (read in full...)
I don't appreciate my boyfriend's lack of consideration of how my work life is.
Q. Bf and I have been together almost 4 years. He claims I never want to hang out with him or that when we have a day off I'm too lazy. Which is is ridiculous. To start, this summer he has been a slacker compared to me when it comes to work. The las...
A. 21 July 2018: This is one of those posts where I would love to hear the other side of the story, i.e. from your boyfriend.
If what you say is accurate, then he is one of those people who has no consideration for others and just wants his own way all the time... (read in full...)
How can I approach an actress for an autograph when she's unfriendly?
Q. I’m going to see a favorite theater show at the theater in 2 weeks,. I’d like to say hi and get a photo with 1 of the co actors at stage door after. she’s known for being cold/unfriendly and aloof. She’s very talented and has a sma...
A. 21 July 2018: Have you considered she may just be a bit shy? Or uncomfortable with strangers?
Could you perhaps send a letter for her to the theatre beforehand, saying you are a huge fan and very much looking forward to seeing her in the play. Add that, if... (read in full...)
I don’t want my Dad to create a false image of me!
Q. I have problems with my parents... So recently, I got my results from my spring semester and it was pretty good. I scored one of the highest scores in math. And so my dad told my aunt about my scores and knowing my aunt, she'll tell other people. I ...
A. 20 July 2018: Sweetheart, your dad is PROUD of his lovely clever daughter! He wants to tell the world how clever you are. It is not about creating false ANYTHING. I bet HE doesn't have the benefit of YOUR education and is PROUD of your achievements and living ... (read in full...)
He changed his work number after we argued so I can’t call him!
Q. Hello, I'd like some advice on a current situation I have here. My boyfriend is a Uber driver. He has two phones, a personal phone for his family and friends, and a work phone he uses for Uber. I'm the only one that has both phone numbers. When he'...
A. 20 July 2018: Are you refusing to answer blocked number calls from your boyfriend because you don't answer them from ANYONE, or are you just doing it to prove a point and to try to punish him? If the former, then that is fair enough. If the latter, then you need ... (read in full...)
He treats me better than my exes but I keep finding he tells lies!
Q. I've been dating a guy for 3 months now. He treats me better then all my crappy exes did and seems to really care about keeping me around. The problem is that he's lied to me about a few things, and often tells me that he feels like he's walking ...
A. 20 July 2018: He's in a bit of a "no win" situation, isn't he? You got upset he didn't tell you he slept with your friend, despite you already being "hurt" that he had had a crush on her in the past (like that was anything to do with you). Then you got upset ... (read in full...)
Help me deal with my provoking ex!
Q. My ex broke up with me a few months ago and we were together for almost 3 years, but since she broke up with me she has been trying to make me jealous or intentionally hurt and/or provoke me. I dont know what to do, I know she is into me but she ...
A. 19 July 2018: Well, you've probably worked out for yourself by now that you cannot control what she does. Your strength lies in how YOU react. Also, important fact: YOU are responsible for your reactions.
She sounds quite immature and will be doing these th... (read in full...)
I'm sitting here alone and pregnant, can I get any advice?
Q. I dated this guy for almost six months during the time I got pregnant.Issues between me and his mom became apparent when she and her daughter begin writting shady comments on my fb page I finally confront both of them and his mom end up call me a ...
A. 17 July 2018: Do you seriously not understand what went wrong?
You were in a relationship with this guy for a matter of weeks before getting pregnant. You already knew he was not good long-term partner material as he cannot hold down a job for any length o... (read in full...)
Why did my married ex boyfriend snap just like that? I desperately want him back in my life!
Q. I met a guy at work 9 years ago. We flirted and had fun but he was married. We worked together and once we kissed in his office and ended up having sex. I have never done anything like this before. I was madly in love with him from this first kiss. ...
A. 17 July 2018: It's sad that someone who is as intelligent as you obviously are has such low self esteem that she thinks she is worth nothing better than to be a man's "bit on the side". You may have an intellectual connection, even a spiritual one, but he is not ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are very interfering!
Q. Hello, I’m looking for some advice me and my husband have 3 children 8, 6 and 7 months and his parents and grandparents are very interfering, we live 5 mins away from them both, they constantly come around unannounced, which is frustrating as we ...
A. 17 July 2018: You can't stop them behaving as they see fit. Your strength lies in how you react to it.
Ignore the undesirable behaviour but reward desirable behaviour by being friendly. Walk away from behaviour which irritates you if you need to; they will soo... (read in full...)
I don’t know how to move on! Advice?
Q. I still love him and can’t move on.? We broke up after almost 2 years because I tolerated his abusive behaviour, emotionally and verbally. I broke up because I couldn’t take the nasty words and he said he wished I died. A week later he texts me...
A. 17 July 2018: I suspect it is still early days for you. You need to give yourself time to move on.
When you feel the urge to contact him, remind yourself how he made you FEEL when he was abusive. We forget what people said or did, but we never forget how they... (read in full...)
How do I move on and am I to blame?
Q. I'm just in despair right now. I absolutely love this site and it's helped me in times of need for so long now, so here goes. I've recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. We lived together for two years in his family house (his famil...
A. 16 July 2018: While most people say you don't really know someone until you live with them, MY theory (based on my own relationships and observations of relationships of family members and friends) is that you don't really know someone until you SPLIT UP with ... (read in full...)
Everyone tells us moving in together after 2 months of dating is too soon!
Q. What's the consensus for knowing when you're ready to move in with someone? My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a little over 2 months, but we see each other every day (we work at the same company), spend hours/weekends at a time togeth...
A. 16 July 2018: If only more people put as much thought into moving in together! You may only have been together a couple of months, but you seem to have already discussed subjects some couples don't touch on till much later in relationships.
You both sound li... (read in full...)
Why doesn’t he answer his phone when he’s with me?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 5 wks we have had a great 5 wks (I know it's only 5 wks) but one thing that bugs me is when we are together he won't answer his phone if a message comes through and often put it on silent. . Why is this ?? He says he ...
A. 15 July 2018: To the anonymous female who thinks we are advocating putting a partner before children: get off your high horse. This is NOT what we are saying - as you well know.
This is a DATE. A couple of hours of "me" time for dad. If it was an emergenc... (read in full...)
Why doesn’t he answer his phone when he’s with me?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 5 wks we have had a great 5 wks (I know it's only 5 wks) but one thing that bugs me is when we are together he won't answer his phone if a message comes through and often put it on silent. . Why is this ?? He says he ...
A. 15 July 2018: Poor man. Doing his best to show you respect but you see it as being secretive. I would be completely insulted if a date kept answering his phone, unless it was an emergency. Time you spend together should be YOUR time, not someone else's. He can ... (read in full...)
Shall I stop being a gentlemen and be a man?
Q. Just wondering what you guys would think what’s on this girls mind. She is married with 2 kids. She is few years older than me, we work together. She is quiet person, well respected and often hates guys advancing. For example a friend of mine will ...
A. 15 July 2018: Perhaps you should ask her husband? And her children?
... (read in full...)
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