If he can’t make time for me, is there any point in this relationship?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 months now. He has a child from a previous relationship who is 1year old. He has the child most of the weekend and works all week, as do I. We have very little time to spend with one another and I don’t ...
A. 11 August 2018: There are only 24 hours in each day and 7 days in each week. If his hours and days are already very busy, due to work and childcare commitments, then no, he simply DOESN'T have time for a relationship. Add into this the fact he needs to be up early ... (read in full...)
Do I deserve to be treated this way because I cheated?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 years. Out of the past 10 years I have supported him fully. I am the only one that works, pays the bills, mortgage, cooks, and does all of the housework. We also have a child together that is only a ...
A. 10 August 2018: Sweetheart, you KNOW the answer. You KNOW you deserve so much better. You KNOW your son deserves a happy mother instead of a down-trodden abused one. Why are you so scared to dump this pathetic whining loser? What are you getting from this ... (read in full...)
Relationship rock and a hard place
Q. I am currently in a relationship which is less than a year old. I love this girl a lot and even waited around for a couple of years while she was with someone else. She dumped the other guy as she was cheated on, she then she wanted to give us a try ...
A. 10 August 2018: You need to finish with your poor girlfriend. You are already cheating on her (emotionally if not physically). She deserves so much better. Your heart is not in the relationship so why continue?
Once you have broken up, leave a decent amount o... (read in full...)
My husband asked my permission to flirt on text messages
Q. My husband loves me a lot, he is extremely extrovert and would be friendly to everyone, but some time back he has been asking me permission to flirt only on text messages, nothing on phone or meeting,he has been honest with me too about his ...
A. 9 August 2018: Ask him how he would feel if YOU were asking HIM for permission to flirt with other men. Do NOT agree to this if it is something which makes you uncomfortable.
Or perhaps ask him if you should both ask his MOTHER whether she feels this is reaso... (read in full...)
We are engaged but I don't think I'm the one my fiance wants to be with
Q. Hi I’ve been with my fiancé now for 4 years I feel like the relationship is on its way out I’ve had so much to put up with while we’ve been together we got engaged because he didn’t know what to get me for Christmas and his mum suggested it I only ...
A. 9 August 2018: Wow! Just wow! Your fiance got you an engagement ring because he couldn't think of what to get you for Christmas so his MUM suggested he get you a ring? Wow!
You struggle financially looking after your son yet he spends hundreds on himself ... (read in full...)
My online LD friend made me uncomfortable by flirting so I blocked him
Q. I met this man on Instagram 8 months ago, we both loved music and that's how our conversation started. He's from Australia and I'm from the US. Everything was great, however he started to confess his love for me WAY TOO EARLY. I found it weird. ...
A. 9 August 2018: Because giving him as many chances as you did was not enough? Because he is going to change his behaviour? Because you are going to get to like his creepy flirting? Because what?
Your relationship reminds me of the dog that chases cars. What are... (read in full...)
How to get rid of these feelings and truly move on?
Q. Dear Aunts and uncles, Please don't judge me for this post. I genuinely need some good advice. My stomach feels empty and my throat feels tight. I feel so wretched. It started three years' ago. This guy at work started flirting with me. I am i...
A. 9 August 2018: Really really difficult not to "judge" when someone who is gearing up for marrying her "best friend" is already having to involve outside help "to deal with the lack of spark in my relationship and what this means for my upcoming marriage etc" yet ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriend's ex without punching him in the face?
Q. Hey people, I never usually ask questions like this online but I don't really know how to talk to anyone else about this. So sorry if this is all over the place. Anyway, I have been in a relationship with an amazing girl for the last 8 months an...
A. 8 August 2018: How do you handle this situation? With dignity and by not stooping to HIS level. He obviously has an agenda. It may be an attempt to get his ex back, it may be trying to look big in front of his mates, it may be sheer devilment, it may be any ... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone who says he is speaking to others. How do I take that?
Q. Dear Cupid readers I have went a date with someone recently, he said that's he's speaking to other woman. How do I take this? ...
A. 8 August 2018: Years ago few would have behaved in this way, let alone owned up to it openly. Nowadays things seem to be slightly different for some people. The "rules" of dating seem to have changed. For many it is now OK to see/date others until they agree to be ... (read in full...)
How far would you be prepared to travel to a friends wedding? Is the very expensive proposition even practical with my girlfriend and one year old baby?
Q. How far would you be prepared to travel to a friends wedding? Hello everyone! After some honest and friendly advice regarding an up coming opportunity. I live in the UK and one of my closest friends lives in Auz. He has decide to go ahead and get...
A. 8 August 2018: If your friend has other friends who live so far away, there will be others who will not be able to make the wedding either, so I think he will be expecting some people not being able to make it.
The money aside (you don't say whether spending... (read in full...)
She’s a good wife and a good mother, but did she break me too much? Will I ever forget what she put me through?
Q. My current wife and I dated from 2011 till now. I never had any reason to think she was ever unfaithful, but she talked a lot about ex boyfriends, and she had cheated on a number of them. We got engaged in 2014. And were supposed to get married i...
A. 8 August 2018: No, you will probably never forget. The question is, can you forgive? Because it sounds like you are, quite unfairly, putting all the "blame" for what happened at her door.
Given the situation with your depression, and how YOU were not willing ... (read in full...)
He has PTSD. Should I give him another chance?
Q. How do i deal with someone who has ptsd ( from serving in the army )? I met a guy on a dating site last year all was well for a few month then he seemed to have a melt down .He wouldnt see me or answer my calls and i got a bit worried. After 2 m...
A. 6 August 2018: How much do you actually know about him? Are you SURE he as PTSD or does he (perhaps?) have a wife or another girlfriend?
Just asking as disappearing for weeks on end then saying you have been in hospital sounds rather convenient. It MAY be that ... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 6 August 2018: Do you not think your first priority should be to meet this guy in person and find out if you still get on? Or are you just planning on meeting up with him to have sex? And are you really that desperate that you are willing to lie about something so ... (read in full...)
My fiance lied about not being attracted to other women
Q. Hi I'm not sure what I'm after writing here but I'm just feeling so hurt I don't know what to think :( I've been with my fiancè for 8 years and we've always been close. I've always trusted him but lately I dont feel close to him or feel like I...
A. 6 August 2018: Do you know what I feel sad about? That YOUR insecurity is ruining what has probably been a good relationship. Certainly I ASSUME it has been good if you have plans to marry this man.
Just because someone is in a relationship does not mean the... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to cut ties with former friends who let me down?
Q. Two years ago I worked for a small company of approx 60 people and my colleagues were like family. We worked together, socialised together-it was very tight knit. Then unfortunately one of our clients gave us a project that went wrong. One of my...
A. 6 August 2018: If you don't miss them, and/or if you feel resentment towards them for the way they treated you, then you are better to consign them to the past and move on.
Google "Friend for a reason, friend for a season, friend for life" and read that. It... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but don't enjoy sex
Q. I'm in a relationship with another girl and have known her 2 years. I do love her but I don't enjoy having sex at all. I don't know if it's because I don't physically fancy her that much or because I can't be bothered to have sex. I find it boring ...
A. 6 August 2018: Has you NEVER fancied her, or is this something which has developed with time? If the former, then it sounds like, much as you enjoy her companionship and friendship, the sexual chemistry just isn't there. It is little wonder you "can't be ... (read in full...)
My ex is addicted to xanax and don't know what to do
Q. For the past year I've been seeing this girl who lives about four hours from me in another city. We've been off and on for about five years dating different people in between but always remaining friends throughout. We recently had a falling out ...
A. 5 August 2018: Sweetheart, commendable as it is that you care so much about her, you cannot fix her. Only SHE can do that and, at the moment, she has no motivation to do that. Her ex (whether they are sleeping together or not is not really relevant) is enabling ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I am after her sister. How do I convince her that is silly?
Q. My wife's sister is a year older than she is. Overall, I have never known them to be competitive or jealous. Recently, her sister got a job at my place of employment. I played a part (but only a part) in getting her the job, which resulted in her g...
A. 5 August 2018: I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are so fixated on your job that you honestly do not understand what you are putting your wife through. There is a huge difference between being supportive to a work colleague (which your ... (read in full...)
I just moved into a new rental apartment and now I realise that my creepy stalker of 3 years ago lives here too!
Q. Help! I’ve just moved rental apartments and have found out (via over hearing something at work) my Facebook stalker/creepy guy lives here too!? He stalked me three yrs ago and asked me out 3 times over fb, to which I said no! He’s weird and cree...
A. 5 August 2018: Deep breath and chill.
While I understand your concern, given your previous history with this guy, there are a lot of "what ifs" in your post. There is no saying you WILL bump into him and, even if you do, you can ignore him, same as you do at wo... (read in full...)
I got close to a friend but then he ghosted me when I got back with my ex
Q. I will keep this brief, but I am just wondering what compels a previously close guy friend to be really friendly and flirty with you... as if anticipating something more when he thinks you’re single, but then he learns that you’re back with your ex ...
A. 4 August 2018: A couple of reasons come to mind.
Firstly, although he couldn't rise to the occasion of being your boyfriend, he still wanted you "on the back burner", waiting until he was (perhaps one day?) ready.
Secondly, perhaps he genuinely does t... (read in full...)
Suspicious texts, long trips to the toilet and deleting his browsing history. Is my boyfriend cheating?
Q. Me and My Boyfriend have been together for 5 years. In that time we've had alot of difficult times with trust. My Boyfriend has had a few wired texts in the past saying this like "Hey baby wanna come over". He said he doesn't know who they are. I ...
A. 4 August 2018: You know you have a gut instinct for good reason, don't you? Your gut instinct is SCREAMING out at you that things are not right. Listen to it.
So he was getting texts from people he didn't know, asking him to come over? Bollocks! You KNOW tha... (read in full...)
Worried for friend who doesn't make time for me and seems to have changed
Q. Hello I'm hoping a few of you may be able to offer some advise. I'm not sure if I'm barking up the wrong tree here but I've been putting this to the back of my mind for many months now and its getting me down. Maybe thats because I'm going throug...
A. 4 August 2018: There are MANY things which could be going on here and there is no way of telling (for us even more so than for you).
She may just feel the friendship has run its course and not actually WANT to meet up with you but not have the guts to tell you... (read in full...)
Cheating, baby drama and a paternity test. I can't deal with all this.
Q. I have been married for a little over 3years and have 2 beautiful children with my husband. I had both children before we got married. When I was pregnant with my second son, I went into a great depression. He was not planned and I actually took a ...
A. 4 August 2018: I'm sorry but all I could think of all the way through your post was that poor child, being shunted from pillar to post, being dumped by his feckless mother while he was ill. None of this is HIS fault yet he is suffering more than any of you.
... (read in full...)
Want to be more serious with him but feel guilty for flirting with someone else. Should I feel bad about this? Pleas help
Q. Hello i am 16 years old and have never really been in a serious relationship. The last time i was in a relationship was a year ago and it only lasted a week, so i don’t count it. I am currently talking to a guy right now and have been flirting for a ...
A. 4 August 2018: Sweetheart, you are 16. Why do youngsters these days want to grow up so fast? You seem perplexed that you have not had a "serious" relationship yet. I should hope not, at your age! And you have been out on ONE date with this lad. Why are you so keen ... (read in full...)
Lazy, childish and his habits disgust me but he takes no notice when I speak to him. What should I do?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner for nearly 6 years we have a 3 year old daughter together I’m now realising what disgusting habits he has he always farts and he makes our daughter do it on people he spits which our daughter does and he is always ...
A. 4 August 2018: Why are you still with this disrespectful uncouth piece of scum? Is this all you think you deserve? More importantly, is this all you think your children deserve?
Whether or not you allow him to treat YOU in this way is entirely your choice, ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend because of my phobia?
Q. I have a really bad phobia of medical procedures, needles and childbirth. I’m receiving counselling and it is getting better, very slowly, but my boyfriend is desperate to start a family and I am absolutely terrified at the idea. He keeps ...
A. 4 August 2018: So what will happen if, for some reason, you cannot have children? After all, there are many couples out there who have various fertility problems. Will he leave you for that as well?
My main concern would not be your phobia, which you are work... (read in full...)
I walked a strange girl home. Would it be okay to ask her out?
Q. I am a grad student at a major US university. One evening not too long ago I was headed home from a long night in the lab (after midnight) when I came across a young woman wearing heels and a dress who approached me. She said that she had been at...
A. 4 August 2018: I think this is a wake-up call for you that you need to PLAY as well as WORK. There is a whole world out there outside your lab. You should NOT be working until after midnight.
Do you have friends you can go out with occasionally to meet new peop... (read in full...)
My family says I’m limiting myself by not going out as friends?
Q. I have a bf, but I don't limit my social interactions just because I'm in a relationship. The other day a single guy asked me to a concert, just me and him. I see him when I gather w/family friends about once a year or so. Otherwise I rarely if ...
A. 1 August 2018: You are old enough to make your own decisions and your family are entitled to their opinions. The two things do not have to be mutually exclusive.
Allow them to voice their opinions. If you don't agree, either smile and mutter something non-comm... (read in full...)
I need advice on makeup and blocking negative comments from my dad!
Q. ive always liked to do my hair and makeup in different ways as it helps in my confidence and sometimes I think I do it quite nice other times I think it doesn't look so nice . I really envy people who can do there eye makeup really good I try to get ...
A. 1 August 2018: You can't control what people say or do, but you CAN control how you react.
Instead of getting all hurt and upset, laugh it off and say something like "Yeah, don't think this was my best effort. Oh well, I'll try something different next time." ... (read in full...)
I saw my boss on a dating app... and swiped yes! OMG!
Q. Shit I didn't realise it was her until after I swiped Yes. Normally at work my boss is this conservative lady with thick glasses but she was this totally hot chick on this dating app. I mean I have never seen her even wearing a sleeveless top in the ...
A. 1 August 2018: She is probably more embarrassed than you are, so give her a break and don't make a big deal of it.
IF she says anything (I doubt she will), laugh and make a joke out of it. Far worse things happen at sea.
Ask yourself, how much will this m... (read in full...)
I don’t like intercourse but like oral!
Q. Intercourse VS oral..... Which is better? I don't like having sex but I love giving and receiving oral sex. Is this a problem? ...
A. 1 August 2018: It's not a problem if you meet someone who thinks along the same lines as you and has the same preferences.
For most people, oral sex is a "starter" or "dessert", while intercourse is the "main". It's PART of sex but not ALL of it.
I wonde... (read in full...)
How do you swim through the dating pool?
Q. How do you swim through the dating pool? I am a 32 year old female - I am not religious but rather building my faith through spirituality. I have been single for two years. Not to sound vain but I do get picked up by guys ( the wrong ones) so i...
A. 1 August 2018: Firstly, and most importantly, stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be people who, if you compare yourself to them, will make you feel inferior or superior. Neither is a good thing. Just acknowledge everyone is different and everyone ... (read in full...)
When is it appropriate to tell a date that I don't want kids?
Q. I'm a 25 year old woman. Have never had the desire to have children and while I know people change over time, I think I may never want kids. This issue makes it a bit harder for me because I noticed most people want kids, while the minority of ...
A. 31 July 2018: Another one here who has never wanted kids. You see, we are not THAT rare!
I have always been completely open about my lack of maternal instinct, even making a joke about forgetting to join the queue when they were handing it out. I have also alw... (read in full...)
I rejected my ideal guy years ago, and now he's with someone else and it's driving me crazy. Help!
Q. Hey, I'm writing this partly to get it off my chest and partly because I need to change something about this situation, even if it's just my way of thinking about it. 5 years ago I was single, much more stupid than I am now, and met a brillia...
A. 31 July 2018: Yes, of course it is a terrible idea. It is a terrible idea for everyone involved in this threesome.
It is a terrible idea for this guy's girlfriend of 5 years, who chose more wisely than you did and who has made him happy for 5 years (don't k... (read in full...)
He ghosted me after we had sex, how do I move on?
Q. I have a bit of an issue. I met this guy about 4 - 5 years ago. We connected instantly, spoke daily and he went out of his way to talk to me. 4 or 5 years into this friendship, feeling developed. We spoke more and more and even met up a few tim...
A. 30 July 2018: Use this as a lesson to never have sex outside a loving stable relationship unless all you want it sex.
Words are cheap. This guy just saw you as a goal, a target. Once he had had what he wanted, he was done with you. He was never interest... (read in full...)
How to tell and convince my parents that I don’t want to get married?
Q. I am from India. Female aged 23 and financially stable. I was in relationship with a guy for 6 years . He broke up all of sudden last year . He didn't give me closure or any upfront reason. It was painful and I had no choice but to move on. I won't ...
A. 30 July 2018: Could you tell your parents your plans and dreams? Could you tell them you are not ready yet to get married and settle down?
Perhaps you could ask for x number of years to "do your own thing", then promise you will sit down with them and discuss ... (read in full...)
My relationship was perfect for 4 years, now its constant drama? I blame TV. What should I do?
Q. I feel like Im a very simple creature. I just want sex, food, affection, and some nice things said to me every once in a while. My gf, she's more complicated. I literally don't know what she wants. One moment she's happy, the next she's sad, and ...
A. 30 July 2018: Wow! Just wow! We read many posts on this forum but still, once in a while there is one which leaves you just saying "wow" and shaking your head in disbelief.
My advice? Let the poor girl go. She deserves so much better than you. If she was post... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to punish me with a prison type punishment ?
Q. IS IT RIGHT THAT MY PARENTS HAVE PUT ME IN PRISON ? AND ARE THEY BEING MEAN FOR NOT LETTING ME GO OUT INTO OUR GARDEN ? I got caught shoplifting, my parents said they don't want to see me go to jail, so are punishing me severely, they h...
A. 29 July 2018: Your parents are not "putting you in prison". They are, quite understandably, trying to stop you ending up in REAL prison.
To answer your questions:
YES, it is COMPLETELY fair how they have chosen to punish you. They are your parents and are ... (read in full...)
Any good tips on moving on?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up about 2 months ago now and I still think about it every single day. It ended really badly where I knew there were issues I was willing to work on and he wasn't ready to take any blame on his side. He was happy to say it ...
A. 29 July 2018: Oh sweetheart, it takes time to get over someone, even when you KNOW it was the right thing. You have the added element of shock in the mix, which won't help as you didn't have any time to prepare yourself for the end of your relationship.
You a... (read in full...)
Why are some women adamantly against their husband/boyfriends looking at porn?
Q. I'm just a bit curious. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of ...
A. 29 July 2018: All women are different and not all women object to men watching porn. Some even watch porn themselves, with or without their partners. For some it can be part of their foreplay.
The main gripes about porn I hear from other women is that their pa... (read in full...)
Lack of sex has made me cheat on my partner. Do I just leave him?
Q. Hi My partner of 6 yrs does not have sex with me at all. He says he just can't be arsed and does not have any interest in sex. I have lived like this for 5 yrs with him. I the first yr he rarely did have sex with me. We are 50 and 51. I have s...
A. 29 July 2018: What do you do? You grow up and accept you are an adult and start acting like one. You seem to use people without any qualms or regrets.
I assume you have stayed with your partner all these years for the financial security? And one of your mai... (read in full...)
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