Is there anything wrong with never coming out as gay?
Q. I am a 36 years old man who is single. I have known since I was about 13 years old that I was gay. I have never been in a relationship with anyone (male or female) and I never came out of the closet. I always hear of people coming out of th...
A. 27 February 2021: Nothing wrong as such, but I have to wonder why you are asking the question. As you are 36, you have obviously lived this way up to now. Has something changed recently?
As you are not deceiving anyone (i.e. dating and pretending your sexual p... (read in full...)
My dad plans to leave my mom but doesn't want me to tell her
Q. A week ago, my dad said he needed me to come and help him with going the supermarket and shopping. I thought nothing of it, was only trying to be a good daughter. But it later turned out he wanted me to meet his girlfriend, Rachael (not her rea...
A. 27 February 2021: I'm sorry your feckless father has put you in this position. It says a lot about him as a person, none of which is admirable.
Although there are never any guarantees with relationships, there are a few things to consider here.
Firstly, ther... (read in full...)
My married friend has hit on me. I want to stay friends but don't want to be involved
Q. I have a close relationship with a work colleague, who I have known for 15 years. Over the last few years we started running together. She would mention the negatives alit about her marriage and would flirt with me. She told me that her husband had ...
A. 25 February 2021: Sadly when two people have different agendas for a relationship, it seldom works out. You see your relationship as a friendship while she sees it as potentially much more.
I was in a similar situation to you many years ago. I didn't know the mean... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with being attracted to a married man?
Q. Hi, I’m attracted to a married man. I think he likes me too. I think one can’t help or change ones attraction that just happens and sometimes they happen to be married. Divorce happens too and maybe he’s already thinking of that so why is it so ...
A. 24 February 2021: Yep, as I suspected, definitely a wind up. Stop feeding the troll, guys. ;-)
... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with being attracted to a married man?
Q. Hi, I’m attracted to a married man. I think he likes me too. I think one can’t help or change ones attraction that just happens and sometimes they happen to be married. Divorce happens too and maybe he’s already thinking of that so why is it so ...
A. 20 February 2021: I strongly suspect you have written this as a wind up as, unless you have the morals of an alley cat, you must realize exactly what is wrong with your "way of thinking". I am, therefore, not going to waste my time on you except to say this: GET THEM ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable and over protective in following the guidance of the midwives and my own desires.
Q. Hi all, I am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in the next couple of months. I have decided that due to covid and the guidelines based around it ATM I do not want my newborn to have any visitors or meet anyone from the outside...
A. 17 February 2021: It's irrelevant what anyone else thinks. You know what they say about opinions? They are like backsides: everyone has one and they all stink.
This is YOUR child. However, I would suggest trying to find some middle ground with your husband ... (read in full...)
How can I let her know she has my permission to see other men and that I find it a real turn on?...
Q. A stranger asked my wife for a date. When she told me about it I was aroused. How can I let her know she has my permission to see other men and that I find it a real turn on?...
A. 17 February 2021: Let me ask you a question: how aroused will you be when your wife decides she has had enough of you pimping her out for your sexual titilation and finds herself a man for whom she is enough without having to prostitute herself for others? Still a ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex girlfriend still have a profile picture of both of us on Facebook?
Q. Hi. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago. I have looked at her Facebook account recently and noticed that she still has several profile pictures up of both of us as a couple and friends commenting what a nice couple we are and how happy sh...
A. 17 February 2021: Maybe she is not dating anyone because she is not yet ready or willing to date so keeping pictures on her page of the two of you together is her way of keeping the guys at bay for the time being.
As it is HER page and HER life, you don't really g... (read in full...)
My future in laws don't want to follow the guidelines for Covid-19 and I am extremely vulnerable healthwise
Q. Hi, I’m really stressed about my father in law to be. He has been breaking the lockdown rules with his two daughters and their partners the whole way through this third lockdown. However, me and my fiancé have been sticking to the rules, I’ve been...
A. 16 February 2021: The most prolific casualties of this whole Covid thing have been relationships. The uncertainty and constant changes of direction where guidelines are concerned have put tremendous stress on many people and how they relate to others. So sad that, at ... (read in full...)
My husband is leaving our family for his male best friend. I'm not sure how to cope
Q. Hello there. My husband told me last night that he's in love with his best friend and the feeling's mutual and he's prepared to move to Italy to be with him. His best friend already has a wife and a daughter; he's moved out during the pandem...
A. 13 February 2021: There is a huge difference between being a "bitter and twisted" ex and allowing yourself to be walked all over. You CAN take the middle road and not do either of those things. There is absolutely no reason why your husband cannot fly back to visit ... (read in full...)
Is this appropriate conversation between a father and daughter?
Q. do you think its appropriate for dad to tell his adult daughter in her twentys that he use to change her diapers and when he gets older she can change his ...
A. 13 February 2021: "Appropriate" seems like an odd term to use in relation to such a conversation. You obviously DON'T feel it is "appropriate", otherwise you would not have written in and asked the question. I would not call it "inappropriate"; I might, however, call ... (read in full...)
Is this normal for someone who stopped speaking and just block you on one thing and keep on other stuff ?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm not really asking for help just seeing If anyone else has had this happen I was with this guy for 5 months last year who I found out he has a trust issue and holds a barrier up if he gets too close to someone Anyway cut long s...
A. 13 February 2021: What I find strange is that you are allowing him to have that degree of control over your life. Take the initiative, block HIM and move on. You say there is no going back, so tidy up the mess and move on with a clean slate. You deserve better. ... (read in full...)
My cousin is obsessed with having the perfect baby
Q. I don't know what to think... I understand that my cousin is under a unimaginable amount of stress, but her egotism is getting the best of her. Long story short, we're in our mid forties. Since she couldn't find a guy, she decided to have a child ...
A. 12 February 2021: This whole drama - because that is what is being created here - is taking its toll on you, so I have to ask, why are you so involved? I get your cousin is family, but she is also an adult and has worked out for herself what she wants in life. It may ... (read in full...)
Should I get to know him again? I was not attracted to him in the past
Q. Someone who i used to speak to has recently got in contact with me again ,when we used to be friends , he said he was attracted to me i never felt the same way . Shall i get to know him again ? i try to meet people to take my mind of things but in ...
A. 12 February 2021: So he fancies you, you don't fancy him, but you are contemplating meeting up with him because you are looking for some distraction from your hurt? Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if someone did that to you. Pretty ... (read in full...)
How do I keep my distance from my brother without interfering in our kid's friendship?
Q. My brother and I stopped talking to each other about fifteen years ago. We never got along when we were kids and we have nothing in common. Growing up, when we did try to do things together, we just ended up getting into a fight. So after our last ...
A. 12 February 2021: Well, it looks like your kids - yours and your brother's - have taken matters into their own hands, regardless of what their fathers are doing. As this has already happened, I see no issue in letting it continue, especially as it doesn't look like ... (read in full...)
My ex treats me like a friend with benefits
Q. When you and your guy break up after years of being in a relationship. Why would the ex boyfriend say he wants to be friends, yet when HE wants sex then he’s all over me trying to get some and that’s ok to happen. But other times when he’s over my ...
A. 11 February 2021: Why is he doing this? Because YOU are allowing it. Simple as that. Despite the split, you are desperate to hold onto him, at any cost. If you can't love yourself enough to understand you deserve better than this, then he will carry on using you for ... (read in full...)
MMF Threesome
Q. We are married 20 years. My wife was very sexual before we dated and after, she is a high sex person and very good at it. She shared with me that she wants to try a MMF Threesome. She knows I'm straight as an arrow. The other guy would most likely ...
A. 7 February 2021: Fantasy is one thing but, once you step over that line and enter reality, things change - because you no longer have any control over what happens. In your fantasies you can envisage anything you want and keep complete control. Once you start ... (read in full...)
How long do I wait? Stuck in a LDR
Q. Hi I’m in a long distance relationship for a few years now. I’m older and settled in career but he is not. He stilll trying to find his feet. When we talk about marriage, every time he says not now, firstly not ready, then he wants thing in l...
A. 7 February 2021: You already know deep down that you need to let this one go, otherwise you would not have written in. You are just thinking aloud and processing your decision. You admit to having a "gut feeling" that there will always be hurdles going forward. ... (read in full...)
Should I keep her in my life as a friend?
Q. Around 7 months ago I began sending texts to a girl I had matched with on Tinder. We hit it off really well, and ended up texting each other multiple times a day and video chatting at least once a week. We made plans to see each other in person once ...
A. 7 February 2021: A couple of things puzzle me about your post. Firstly, where you say you "HAVE to move out of the country" and this is going to be "permanent". The second is where you say this girl "doesn't have a visa". It's almost like you have both given up ... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend always wanted to fight with me
Q. Hi This may be a long one, but I will try to keep it simple. Basically I met a girl (online because of the pandemic) and we have been chatting, everything was going fine at first until recently when she wants to fight with me every 2-3 days. ...
A. 6 February 2021: What was it that kept you with this girl? The few good days between the bad? You hadn't even met yet already she was causing you lots of grief. Sweetheart, you deserve better. She sounds very manipulative and a user.
The problem is, I wouldn't... (read in full...)
My husband's small penis doesn't satisfy me
Q. I have been married for 7 years and 2mths. I love my husband, but as of lately, the size of his penis bothers me. In fact, for quite sometime I wished he had a larger penis. He has been the only man I have ever had sex with, he makes me orgasm ...
A. 6 February 2021: Sorry but your post makes no sense whatsoever. In one breath you state "he makes me orgasm several time during sex" and "Sometimes he tries so hard to please me sexually", yet you go on to state "I literally feel nothing pleasurable" and "He rarely ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to rekindle a relationship with an ex?
Q. Does anyone have any advice on winning back an ex boyfriend? I truly loved him and we both had minor bumps throughout the relationship but ultimately parted ways. At first he seemed hesitant about the possibility of it working in the future but then ...
A. 6 February 2021: Unless there have been major changes in your life, his life or both your lives, and the reason you split up would no longer be an issue, then it is totally pointless to rerun the same movie, with the same content, yet expect a different ending. You ... (read in full...)
Dating a good guy but I have trust issues
Q. I have really bad trust issues and don't know how to get over them. I met my partner just over two years ago he's in his 40s,supportive, caring, works hard, there is a 18 years age gap between us am younger so tbh great at helping sort problems...
A. 5 February 2021: If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you. I suspect a major part of your problem is that you don't believe you are worthy of what you currently have. Your ex's behaviour towards you probably ruined your self esteem ... (read in full...)
My LDR husband is asking for $4000
Q. Hi and thanks I wrote here before about my husband. I received alot of good advice. So we have been married for 4 years. We don't live together yet. He doesn't live where I do, so I was working on his visa. We have spent alot of time tog...
A. 3 February 2021: It is pointless telling you this man sees you as a meal ticket until you are ready to see it. It seems, from this latest post, that you might finally be slowly opening your eyes and acknowledging he is in this for the money.
You are quite ri... (read in full...)
Is it time to let these friendships go?
Q. Ok, so I'm reevaluating my life. I have a few friends that I've known since middle school. I left and went away for college and me and them stayed friends. My question: is it time to let the friendships go? One friend gave a guy that I liked, th...
A. 2 February 2021: I personally believe evaluating our lives and what/who we have in them should be a constant on-going exercise. Anything which does not add value to our lives should be carefully reviewed and, if it is unlikely to improve at some point, it should be ... (read in full...)
My ex blew me off, but he won't stop contacting me
Q. My ex and met on Face book 10 years ago and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We ...
A. 2 February 2021: You are as much to blame for this ongoing circus as is your ex because you enable him. Would you read the same book over and over and expect a different ending? Would you watch the same film over and over and expect things to turn out differently to ... (read in full...)
I cried during a film and he handed me a box of Kleenex
Q. Hi. Would this bother you? My boyfriend and I were watching a movie a few days ago. I cried during one scene as it reflected a situation I had gone through in my real life. All my boyfriend did was hand me a box of kleenex. He didn't say anything, ...
A. 31 January 2021: Many men are not good at dealing with crying women. I know this from watching my male work colleagues trying to deal with the occasional crying female. They would rather walk over hot coals barefoot than face that on a one-to-one basis!
Your ... (read in full...)
My 14 year old son's friend is gay. Is it ok to allow them to sleep in the same room?
Q. My son, Justin, and his friend, Chris, are 14 years old. Chris has let his parents, Justin, my husband and myself that he is gay (I don't know if anyone else knows). Justin doesn't care about Chris being gay, as long as they can continue being f...
A. 31 January 2021: What are your main concerns? I ask as I can "sort of" get where you are coming from in wondering about this, but you are not me, so may have very different worries.
I suspect your main worry may be that the boys will start experimenting together... (read in full...)
Any advice for dealing with an unpleasant coworker?
Q. There is a person who I work with ,who is a very funny comical witty character but hes can be very unpleasant. all staff say the same that it's just the way he is ,dont take it personally ,that it's just his humour and that hes like that with ...
A. 30 January 2021: Sounds like this guy thrives on the attention he gets when he is outrageous. Reminds me of a number of "comedians" a few years ago who believed shock value equated to comedy. People laughed because they were shocked and uncomfortable. There was ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell a girl that I like her
Q. hello im divine from nigeria i dont know how to tell a girl i like her im a very shy person. can someone help me out all my friends have girl friends but i dont im piesed off. help! ...
A. 30 January 2021: You don't need to outright tell someone you like them. You can be a lot more subtle than that but still get your point across.
Smile. A smile always makes you look nicer, friendlier and more approachable.
Aim to make friends with girls. Don'... (read in full...)
How to attend job interview without boss knowing
Q. Hi friends. I have posted here before and I find users here very kind and honest with answers. I want to ask advise about going for job interview. My company has very strict policy. I must apply for leave 4 weeks in advance. Office hours no...
A. 23 January 2021: I have to ask, why can't you attend interview early morning or late evening? That is how most people get around this sort of situation. Most potential employers will be flexible with timing an interview if you explain you do not want your current ... (read in full...)
Ex got upset and called me insensitive. Do I owe him more?
Q. My ex had been dealing with a lot after our breakup and after a week of not talking he reached out asking to get dinner because he needed some company after a tough week (death of his family member). I said I couldn’t but that I’m sorry he’s dealing ...
A. 23 January 2021: He's the one who is being a jerk, not you. You are moving on with your life. He dumped you so what did he expect?
No, you don't owe it to him to be a shoulder to cry on whenever he needs it. You have your own life to lead. While it is very sad... (read in full...)
Do his comments suggest he’s not into me
Q. So the guy I like constantly makes comments to me about not liking breasts. He says that he doesn’t like big breasts and ‘more than a handful is a waste’. This is clearly targeted at me because I have really big breasts, is this simply his way of t...
A. 23 January 2021: What is it you like about this guy? I'm a little surprised that a woman in her 30s is wasting her time on an idiot who only views women's worth in terms of the size of their breasts.
If you are that bothered about him, asking him point blank if... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a very unsupportive partner?
Q. Hello Cupiders, How do I deal with a very unsupportive partner? I have always aimed for the best for both of us, fitness, finance, mental and emotional health. Lately I have noticed my long term partner has never supported me in my decisi...
A. 22 January 2021: The line which screams out at me from your post is when you say your partner has "never supported me in my decisions". Do you consult and discuss things with her before making your decisions? Do you allow her to make some of the decisions? How ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about him but he has a baby on the way and I think our friendship is over
Q. There's this guy I used to see ages ago and it just didn't work out romantically but we decided to he friend. However, he's got with a new girl and I've found myself being pushed away and he says he can't talk to me anymore because there's mistrust ...
A. 19 January 2021: I suspect you settled for a friendship with this guy because you hoped, at some point, you two would have a romantic relationship again. He is not free to give you what you want. Even when he was free, he chose not to give you what you want.
... (read in full...)
How do I respond without putting him off? I'm not sure if he just wants a casual relationship
Q. I met a guy at work around a year ago for a few weeks - we saw each other around a few times. Nothing more too it. He added me on Facebook the other week and we have really hit it off , chatting non stop, very interested in my life etc ,obviou...
A. 18 January 2021: Instead of worrying about putting him off, why not put your needs and wants first and think instead of (1) whether you want to get involved with a guy who is already tentatively laying the groundwork for a casual no-strings relationship and (2) ... (read in full...)
Wife keeps talking to ex-bf even though she knows it upsets me
Q. A few years ago my wife reconnected with an old boyfriend via Facebook. She did not tell me about it, but I found out indirectly. He is married with two kids and he wanted to meet her for dinner while he was on a business trip to LA without ...
A. 16 January 2021: While I can fully understand your desire to lash out, why would you want to hurt someone else who has nothing to do with what is going on? It's not this guy's wife's fault he is making overtures to an ex girlfriend who is telling him she is single. ... (read in full...)
Should I keep their affair a secret?
Q. My ex-wife had an affair with one of our best friends. It was very physical, and they exchanged a lot of sex talk and intimate photographs of each other which i still have. When i discovered the affair i copied as much as i could as it went alo...
A. 14 January 2021: I can completely understand why you hurt and your desire to tell the other wife. However, before you go ahead and do this, ask yourself does the other wife deserve to be hurt? Her hurt will not help to heal yours. You and she are the two innocent ... (read in full...)
Male compliments female co-worker. Does he feel he can trust her not to take it out of context?
Q. Okay, speaking hypothetically here. You have a male and female who are coworkers. They are friendly but not friends. They don’t hang out outside of work, but they are the ones who turn to each other with work problems and sometimes personal issues. ...
A. 13 January 2021: Wow! Your overthinking has made me feel tired just reading your post. It must be exhausting being inside your head.
Take a compliment gracefully. Thank the compliment giver and move on. It's just a compliment. ... (read in full...)
My wife has never had an orgasm with me
Q. I am 55 y.o. And my wife is 53. We’ve been married for 12 years. She never has had orgasm via intercourse with me (only via oral sex), but she had more than 30 sex partners before we knew and she had orgasms with many of them including a squirt w...
A. 13 January 2021: Good sex starts with good communication, and that takes two people. Everyone is different in what works for them when it comes to sexual satisfaction. If she is comfortable enough to talk to you about what she did with previous partners, then she ... (read in full...)
Trouble with a friend who borrows money and won't pay it back
Q. Hello So, my friend seems to have money issues. I don't mind helping out sometimes but recently I found out after I borrowed 200.00 a mutual friend also gave 200.00 so I sort of expected mine back. However, she said shes broke and needs it. A...
A. 10 January 2021: Any advice? Yes, stop lending her money. Simple.
Let her bleat. Let her moan. Nod, agree, sympathize, but don't put your hand in your pocket. I assume you have to work for your money? You know it doesn't grow on trees. Your friend, on the othe... (read in full...)
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