I am having a relationship with a woman 1/2 my age. She has sex with other men. I don't mind but my family does
Q. Im a 75 year old man who would like some honest advice...my entire family is upset with me..for over a year now Ive been having a relationship with a 36 year old woman..we spend alot of time together, traveling the world, going to restaurants, ...
A. 18 April 2021: The other aunts and uncles have pretty much said it all. However, I do have a couple of questions of my own (strange how some posts demand more questions than advice):
1. Who pays for everything when you travel/eat out/shop? Does she contribu... (read in full...)
Is my story a cautionary tale about waiting for a married man and being careful what you wish for
Q. You're probably going to think "you got what you wanted, now be satisifed with it" or "another typical case of woman takes married man and another woman's leftovers", but this is not quite that. I got with my current boyfriend in August 2019, a y...
A. 18 April 2021: One question: why are you still providing him with lodgings? He has told you he is going back to his wife, therefore your relationship has no future. Are you hoping he is going to change his mind if you let him stay? I doubt that will happen and, if ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend shares bed with single guy but swears nothing happened
Q. We were at a single friends home having drinks. I laid down about 2am as my girlfriend carried on a conversation with the single guy,that include admitting she was not that happy.. I was listening. they talked for quite some time. there was a ...
A. 17 April 2021: So, if I understand this correctly, you were asleep on one couch, another friend was asleep on the other couch. Assuming there were only 2 couches in this friend's home, what did you expect your girlfriend to do? Sleep on the floor? My guess would ... (read in full...)
We had a falling out I extended an olive branch to my close friend but he didn't respond. Now what?
Q. Ok, folks. I need your advice on this one. Here's the story. I had a friend and we were a part of a larger group of friends and we were all part of a local sports club. He and I were really good pals, in fact I would class him as one of my closes...
A. 17 April 2021: I cannot put it any better than someone who has already figured out why people come into our lives. Here is what they think - and something I totally agree with.
Hope it helps you.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a life... (read in full...)
Can a relationship that started as an affair have a chance at succeeding in the long run?
Q. I am one of the rare mistresses who gets her married man in the end. He divorced his wife, sold the home, split assets. All the kids are grown and out of the house. And now we are together legitimately. I can walk on the street with him hold...
A. 13 April 2021: I'm sorry op but, do you hear that sound? That's the sound of your chickens coming home to roost. You won him by cheating and now you fear you will lose him to cheating (which is not improbable).
You can dress up your affair and try to justify ... (read in full...)
Is This Player Just Chasing Me Because I'm Hard To Get?
Q. The guy who likes me is a ladies man and party boy and has slept with loads of girls, so although I think he's hot I am not interested. He has constantly been flattering me for ages to the point his friends make fun of him but Im just not into him ...
A. 12 April 2021: You have a gut instinct for good reason: to warn you when something is not as it appears and to keep you from going there. Listen to your gut.
The fact you are wondering why this guy is making a big play for you makes me suspect you are weakenin... (read in full...)
I think I am just a replace for my fiance's ex
Q. So me and my fiancé have been together for just under two years, but I’m not convinced he loves me as much as an ex girlfriend he was with for 7 years. Or even at all, I play around scenarios in my head where I wonder if he wishes he could just be ...
A. 11 April 2021: I think there are two major problems here: your insecurity and his lack of tact.
I'm a little confused that, on the one hand, you write "he's perfect", then, on the other hand, go on to list all the things about him that are far from perfect.... (read in full...)
I've made my husband feel guilty but he doesn't need to.
Q. This is going to sound like a strange one. About 2 weeks ago I walked in on my husband and his best friend watching one of our home made videos and performing sexual acts on each other. My first reaction was to act angrily, but really I wasn't...
A. 9 April 2021: Do you have an open marriage? It doesn't sound like you do, so I will assume not. In that case, your husband cheated on you. Whether he was watching you or some random unknown people in a porn movie is irrelevant; the footage was just w4nk fodder ... (read in full...)
Do I let my teenaged son know I seen him making out with his friend? Do I tell his dad?
Q. I have a son who is 14 year old son, Chris. He broke his leg and is on crutches. He is getting around okay on the crutches but I was worried about leaving him home alone, afraid that he would fall down, especially in the bathroom. Chris asked if...
A. 8 April 2021: In your shoes I would not say anything to either of them but make it clear to your son you are always available for him to talk to. It is not unusual for young lads (and girls) to experiment with their own sex. They are trying to discover their ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to Cuckold him, I don't understand why
Q. Hi I am really hoping you ladies and gents can help me! 2 weeks ago my husband asked me to really consider letting him watch another guy have sex with me. This has thrown me hard, I don't understand it. He says he can't explain his reasons behi...
A. 8 April 2021: You only need to have a read through past posts in the archives of this site about threesomes to see that they seldom, if ever, end well.
Like the majority of women, you do not separate sex and love into compartments. You are already developi... (read in full...)
He left me once and asked for my forgiveness. Can I trust him not to leave me again?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for five years. We became engaged in September of 2020 and then moved in together in December 2020. I was over the moon and life couldn't be better UNTIL he decided, seemingly out of the blue, to move out after ...
A. 7 April 2021: Nobody can make you feel "not good enough, worthless and unlovable" without your permission. One person letting you down does not make you any of those things. Those feelings are completely YOUR responsibility, not his. Yes, he behaved badly, but ... (read in full...)
My wife screams, yells, rants, and cusses at the smallest thing. What to do?
Q. When the slightest little thing goes wrong, my wife starts cussing, yelling, stomping her feet, biting her lip, clenching her fists, and overall just pitching a fit. The other morning she knocked over a basket full of small items all over the floo...
A. 1 April 2021: Your wife sounds very stressed out. Having to re-wash a load of laundry may seem like a little thing to someone who is just watching from the sidelines and not doing it. However, what seems like an insignificant little thing to you may just be the ... (read in full...)
My partner has a problem with me keeping a single, small picture of my late husband in my apartment
Q. Dear cupid and everyone, i just wanna ask something. Is it really that bad to honor your late husband with just one Single little picture of him in your own apartment just for a respect? Beside you and your new Partner are not living in your a...
A. 29 March 2021: I would find it insulting and controlling if a new partner was trying to rewrite my past. I have photographs of most of my previous boyfriends and my partner has absolutely no issue with this, but then he is neither stupid nor narrow minded and ... (read in full...)
I'm hopelessly in love with my teacher
Q. I have a slight problem...I really like my teacher! I know there are lots of these questions about but I really need an answer! Well ever since I've known him I've had feelings for him. It started off just a small crush but over the past three y...
A. 26 March 2021: It's good to see that you are mature enough to realize the consequences of confessing your feelings to him (i.e. that this will put him in an awkward position and he may feel the need to distance himself from you). Imagine how that will spoil what ... (read in full...)
Will men in general settle for having average, lacklustre or even bad sex over NO sex at all?
Q. I know this is a generalization. But would you say it is reasonable to assume that many or most or at least some men would take average, mediocre or even bad sex over having no sex at all? For example, if they are on a business trip or away from ...
A. 26 March 2021: On this site we read all sorts of posts from a wide variety of people. The insight into human nature is one of the interesting things about being on this site (for me, at least). It does make me groan, however, when I read a post in which the writer ... (read in full...)
Casual Nudity with Mother In Law
Q. This past summer, my wife, kids, and I went on vacation with my in-laws. We shared a lovely condo on the beach. Since we were at the beach, I went shirtless most of the time and typically just wore my swim shorts or athletic shorts with no underwear ...
A. 24 March 2021: Given your age, I am probably of a similar age to your MIL. I am definitely no prude but there are boundaries that people usually acknowledge as a mark of respect to others. One of those is throwing on a covering if other people are around, even if ... (read in full...)
My uncle stepped in after my father passed away. Would it be appropriate to ask him to walk me down the aisle when I marry?
Q. When I was 10 years old, my father passed away. My uncle (my dad's brother) stepped up to the plate and helped my mom, my brother and I out. My uncle was single with no kids of his own and he always spent time with my brother and I, even before my ...
A. 23 March 2021: Absolutely yes. Your uncle has no biological children of his own but has been a father figure to you and your brother since his brother died, effectively helping to raise you both. I am sure he will consider it an honor and be delighted to walk you ... (read in full...)
My fiance and I are considering become a throuple with her ex girlfriend
Q. I've been with my fiancee Becky for 8 years, we got engaged in 2018 and are getting married in 2022; it was planned for 2020 but got cancelled, first due to our work schedules from January to March, and now the coronavirus pandemic. I'm 38, my wif...
A. 20 March 2021: Why has this ex suddenly reappeared in your fiancee's life? Where was she all the years between them finishing their relationship and now, 15+ years later? She obviously managed quite well without her for all that time so that would be my first ... (read in full...)
I was brave and told a co-worker how I felt but he's sort of left me hanging
Q. I have recently bravely declared my feelings to a colleague *R whom has recently left the supermarket Morrisons company a week ago to train for a new working from home job. Me and R shared banter and bonded well. I told him one to one privatel...
A. 20 March 2021: I think you need to take the good out of this encounter and use it to move forward with your life. I believe people often come into our lives to serve a specific need. In your case, this man came into your life to support you for a short while and ... (read in full...)
My ex lover wants me to send back the vibrator he gave me as a present
Q. This is a pretty bizarre and embarrassing question, but I need someone to tell me what I should do. I dated a guy for just over a couple of months, and it was pretty intense fairly fast (this was when the pubs and bars were still open). He got me...
A. 19 March 2021: I can completely understand why you don't want to send this particular toy back and totally agree with you that his request is creepy in the extreme.
In your shoes I would handle this one of two ways: either smash up the toy and send him a pictur... (read in full...)
How can my family help my sister with an abusive mentally relationship? The police won't step in
Q. I have three sisters. One of my sisters, Victoria (not real name), who's 36, left her partner due to domestic violence (after a 1.5-year long relationship, they moved in together not long into the relationship and she only moved in with him to g...
A. 17 March 2021: My faith in the police has been eroded over many years of negative personal experience. In the UK at the moment, the police seem to have unlimited resources to arrest someone for visiting an elderly vulnerable relative but claim they don't have ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend said that he does not know what will become of us. What does this mean?
Q. Hi everyone. I am in need of some advice on how to move forward in my situation. I have been with my partner for 9 years. We split up two months ago because over the past year we have been in lockdown together (both working from home) and over t...
A. 16 March 2021: In a nutshell: (1) I doubt he has a new girlfriend and (2) he tells you he is not sure what will happen to you as a couple because he genuinely hasn't worked out yet what is best for him.
It is quite difficult to go "cold turkey" from a 9 year r... (read in full...)
Why would my new boyfriend still be talking to his old girlfriend?
Q. Hey y'all. My boyfriend of 6 weeks and I have run into some interference from his ex girlfriend of 8 years. He moved to my country and we started dating after he broke up with her. She was not in touch with him at all during those 6 weeks and then ...
A. 16 March 2021: He's still in contact because, as you have witnessed with your own eyes, they are not really "over" yet. He has jumped into bed with another female (you) to fill the void in his life but his heart is still with the old girlfriend. If the old ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I fought and haven't spoken in a week. His bday is coming what should I do?
Q. I quarreled with my boyfriend a week ago He asked me to call him late at night, but I couldn't because my sister was asleep So he was upset and made it a reason not to speak to me for so long.His birthday these days I don't know what to do, w...
A. 14 March 2021: Are you sure he still sees himself as your boyfriend? Perhaps the silence is his way of ending the relationship?
Or is this the way your relationship normally runs? If so, you need to decide whether this is how you want to live your life, wi... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is lying to me again she has a history of doing so
Q. Can anyone help me with the math here because i think i'm being lied too by the woman i'm currently seeing. She text me good morning at 08.00, then another text at 08.57 asking how day was going. At 09.36 she text and said she was having bre...
A. 14 March 2021: You have to decide, once and for all, whether you trust her or not. If you do, then you have to stop going through everything she says with a fine tooth comb, trying to catch her out on a lie. If you DON'T trust her, why are you still with her? You ... (read in full...)
My wife suddenly wants an open marriage and wants me to date her friend but she doesn't want anyone else
Q. My wife Katherine wants us to have an open marriage and her reasoning for it is "most guys want another woman on the side and you'll probably have one anyway; I don't want another man on the side at all, you're the only man for me." She wants me t...
A. 13 March 2021: How sad that your wife is holding you to account for something others did to her. It is so true that, if you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on those who didn't cut you. I am so sorry you are in this situation.
I suspect, if you did what... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife? I found out I was dating a married man
Q. I dated this guy who has a 13-year-old daughter for the past 18 months, he told me he was separated, thought nothing of it; his daughter likes me. Then I later find out a week ago he's still legally married to his wife; his wife's a nurse and she ...
A. 13 March 2021: I can understand this has knocked your self esteem and your faith in your own judgement. However, that is no reason to involve this man's wife and to hurt her. She is not the one who has caused your upset. Telling her will not make you feel better ... (read in full...)
Should I report my housemate to his employers?
Q. Okay everyone I know I’m being bitter but I’m just really pissed off at my housemate. Throughout this pandemic we’ve worked from home, but the thing is, he doesn’t actually do any work. He will tend to his emails in the morning for around 10 minutes ...
A. 13 March 2021: Why are you picking up his and other people's work? What would happen if you sat back and refused to do anything but your own work or your fair share of work? Without knowing what type of work you do, I don't know if that's possible. Would it bring ... (read in full...)
I don't love my live in boyfriend anymore but I can't get him to leave
Q. Hey everyone. Hoping someone can give me some advice in regards to my relationship. I'm a 32 year old woman and my boyfriend is the same age. We've been together coming up 5 years. Our relationship was on and off at the beginning. He would b...
A. 9 March 2021: Sorry but I had to laugh at the part where you wrote that he couldn't go back to his parents because he classes himself as an "independent man". On what planet is this man-child independent? You are supporting him and yourself while he lounges ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my deceased husband. I can't take the stress
Q. I really need help and advice. My bf ( partner ) and me are almost 6 years together already. I am widow and he is divorced. His ex wife cheated on him with another man. He dont wanna get married anymore because of his divorce he lost a lots, "money ...
A. 7 March 2021: While I totally understand your desire to be a good role model to your children, what message do you think you are sending them by staying in an unhappy abusive relationship? If one of them was in your position, with a partner whose behaviour was ... (read in full...)
How to deal with elderly mom who accuses me of stealing?
Q. My mom will be 78 this year. She is in decent physical condition, but dealing with the beginning of dementia. Despite what the doctors say, she still thinks there is a physical problem with her and that there will be some surgery, some drug, or...
A. 6 March 2021: I think Code Warrior has nailed it in his reply to you. This is not the mother you have known all your life; this is the mother whose brain is slowly starting to malfunction. It is pointless trying to reason with her because she is no longer capable ... (read in full...)
My husband's lack of attention makes me feel ugly
Q. I have found that I am the one in our marriage who says abut having sex. my husband will only say once every blue moon, do you want abit tonight otherwise it is me who says about having it. we are both in our 5Os and we have it 3 times a week but...
A. 6 March 2021: You strike me as having a very "male" attitude towards sex. By that I mean that women usually need to feel loved to want sex while men tend to need sex to feel loved. You have the latter outlook. Despite having a husband who is respectful, ... (read in full...)
He's lied to me repeatedly. How do I trust him?
Q. I come from a strict but very loving Indian family. I ended up in a relationship with a white male during lockdown 2020. So since June 2020 (had spoke online for months prior) we had been communicating. August 2020, he opened he had lied to me ...
A. 6 March 2021: To help you understand what has happened here, I would like you to try something. Take a pristine clean sheet of writing paper. Put it on the table. Flawless, isn't it? Not a mark on it. Now take that piece of paper and scrunch it up as hard as you ... (read in full...)
I'm a teacher. How do I cope with young boys coming on to me and wanting to have sex?
Q. I am a teacher. Have been in this profession for over 42 years. I am bisexual and do like young boys. For the last 8 years or so I am frequently being importuned by my students to have sex with them. Earlier it used to be older boys asking me, boys ...
A. 6 March 2021: If you've been in the profession for over 42 years, you must be at least 60. What sort of world do you live in where men of your age are approached on a regular basis by young boys asking for sex? Is this about money? Are they poor and looking for ... (read in full...)
I respect my boyfriend's need for space but my anxiety gets the better of me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a couple of years. We've lived together for half of that and have a dog that we both love. I've always struggled with insecurity and anxiety and have been let down a lot, which I'm getting counselling for but the one thin...
A. 3 March 2021: Two posts in a row where the saying "if you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you" applies.
Why are you so anxious and insecure? Does your boyfriend give you reason to feel insecure? Do you trust him? Or is this all... (read in full...)
Why is he being so overly dramatic? Is this a manipulation of some sort?
Q. I have recently started seeing a guy. Both of us have been through a divorce approximately 10 years ago for each of us. I am taking things very slowly with him, but he has said several times, "Don't break my heart. Promise me you won't break my ...
A. 3 March 2021: This is one of those times when I believe it would really pay you to trust your gut instinct. It sounds like you already know that this is a manipulation tactic. It possibly stems from fear or insecurity, but this in no way excuses his behavior.
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend share pictures of me on social media?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend since summer 19 And he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me he’s always there for me emotionally shows me love and affection, spoils me, and is my best friend. I lost my mom to cancer in October and he has never ...
A. 2 March 2021: Forgot to add, condolences on losing your mum. x
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend share pictures of me on social media?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend since summer 19 And he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me he’s always there for me emotionally shows me love and affection, spoils me, and is my best friend. I lost my mom to cancer in October and he has never ...
A. 2 March 2021: Given all the "false happy" pictures people post on social media, I have a theory which I have often voiced, and that is that the sign of a happy relationship is no evidence of it on social media. I have been with my partner for going on 20 years ... (read in full...)
My fiance wants too much oral sex
Q. My fiance want too much oral sex. I was just getting use to giving head and then last night he actually tried f****** me in the mouth. Holding my head while he was on his knees. I was not use to this so he hollers at me for doing it wrong. I felt ...
A. 1 March 2021: Sweetheart, is this what you want for your future? Do you think you deserve to be abused in this way? Because you need to realize this IS abuse.
Your fiance is not going to change except for the worse. He is likely to become increasingly more dem... (read in full...)
Why would a colleague send me this?
Q. I am a married man. A married female colleague of mine, whom I adore, has sent me a fresh pantyliner, what does she mean by that?...
A. 1 March 2021: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Seriously?
Are you sure this has come from her and not that someone hasn't sent it as some sort of weird "joke"? As you say you "adore" her, perhaps this is a colleague's way of telling you they think you are a pussy?
How doe... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with never coming out as gay?
Q. I am a 36 years old man who is single. I have known since I was about 13 years old that I was gay. I have never been in a relationship with anyone (male or female) and I never came out of the closet. I always hear of people coming out of th...
A. 27 February 2021: Nothing wrong as such, but I have to wonder why you are asking the question. As you are 36, you have obviously lived this way up to now. Has something changed recently?
As you are not deceiving anyone (i.e. dating and pretending your sexual p... (read in full...)
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