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| | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 20 May 2019: Stop trying to pass it off as you’re not seriously considering it. Why else would you be here if you weren’t?
Either work on your marriage or divorce your husband. He can do better than someone who’s considering cheating. ... (read in full...)
We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 19 May 2019: You asked if meeting this man would be a mistake. You weren’t joking, you were here asking if people would find it socially acceptable. You know it isn’t or else you wouldn’t be hoping for someone to validate your query.... (read in full...)
We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 18 May 2019: Of course you are, how could you possibly think you’re not? You’re discussing breaking your marriage vows. Cheating on the father of your children, you do understand what you’re suggesting?
On what lanes would this be okay? Were you expectin... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex to go back with his former ex!
Q. My ex and I split up 3 months ago. We have 2 children together that he still sees regular;y. I didnt want to split and I still love him but we argued too much and our relationship became so toxic it had to end. But now his ex-fiance, who h...
A. 16 May 2019: You need to get a grip. Your kids need looking after right now and to drink in their presence is horrific. If you need help then you need to speak to friends/family or a councillor. You have NO right to comment on who he decides to pursue ... (read in full...)
What would you do with a partner like mine?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years and I honestly don’t know how I have put up with it for so long he puts everyone before me if someone rings him to do summat such as painting or anything like that he’s there I ask him he does it months ...
A. 16 May 2019: Leave? Very simple.
Surely you want better for yourself. You’ve had 5 years of this, how many more?... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his mind games?
Q. Hi guys, I've recently ended my 7 year marriage due to my husband being emotionally abusive towards me (constantly asking me where I've been, who I've been with, telling me how I should feel, gaslighting me, not letting me go to sleep until I've...
A. 16 May 2019: I get that you’re trying to act like a happy family doing activities together but that really IS NOT a good idea. As suggested, he’s trying to worm his way back in and grind you down, you’re well aware of it, so ignore it! Let him say whatever he ... (read in full...)
I can't get over him, we had sex once but he has a girlfriend
Q. A year ago I fell in love with someone who had a girlfriend. After months of building sexual tension, we had sex once, after which he told his girlfriend. She told him never to contact me again. For a few months he didn't, then he got back in touch. ...
A. 16 May 2019: How do you love him exactly?
From what I’m reading you’ve met once? Had sex once? And you’re in love? How? You can’t fall in love with someone over text, it’s not possible. You fall in love with someone through physical and emotional contact.... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious that my LDR girlfriend hasn't told anyone about us?
Q. I've officially been with my LDR girlfriend for six months now, I'm in the UK and she's in the US. I've been open about our relationship from the beginning but my girlfriend on the other hand hasn't told anyone, other than one of her friends. At ...
A. 14 May 2019: Possibly.
How serious actually are you both about this? Have you ever met? Do you have plans to? What’s the long term goal? Who’s moving to the other person? What’s the timescale for the move? These are the questions that are important right no... (read in full...)
When should I make my relationship public?
Q. Hi, Asking for some advice not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve been single two years and started dating again around a year ago, a lovely lovely guy who I unfortunately just wasn’t attracted to. We got on amazingly and maybe that’s why it cont...
A. 13 May 2019: Whenever you like.
Things didn’t work out with your ex, it’s not your job to worry about his feelings. I’m sure he will be able to deal with it and in some cases things like this can actually help others to move on as it’s a form of closure ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for the old flame who's come back into my life but I have a really great boyfriend now. What do I do?
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for the last 6 months and things have been going reasonably well between us. He is a really great guy and he is really good to me. He is thoughtful, supportive and everyone I know thinks he is really great. I really like him ...
A. 13 May 2019: If you loved your partner there wouldn’t be ‘another guy’ In the picture and he definitely does not deserve to be messed around. I don’t think you’d like it if someone was weighing up the pros and cons of leaving you for someone else.
Break... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?
Q. I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...
A. 13 May 2019: If you’re questioning how your exes friend is still with her partner then why are you even here asking this?
NO! Of course she doesn’t deserve a second chance. She is a cheat. It doesn’t matter whether she ‘regrets’ it or ‘knew it was a bad idea... (read in full...)
Just found out he cheated the entire relationship. Should I give him chance?
Q. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years now. Our families have meshed and we've gone on many trips together, have gone through many experiences and have even told each other I love you half a year into our relationship. He lives on...
A. 12 May 2019: Why are you even asking this?
No cheater deserves a second chance under any circumstance. I don’t understand how anyone could consider working through being cheated on. It is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship and there’s nothing lower, h... (read in full...)
He hasn’t told a soul about his relationship with me and it bothers me. It’s all about respect, or is it?
Q. I’ve been seeing this guy for about 9 months off and on. We’ve hooked up a few times. I don’t want anything serious because I’m going through a divorce (been legally separated for 2 years). Anyway, I’d kind of describe our relationship as slightly ...
A. 12 May 2019: You aren’t in a relationship, what is there to tell?
‘Mum, this is the woman I am having casual sex with’ doesn’t quite my the same ring to it as GF does it?
If you don’t want anything serious then what’s the issue anyways?... (read in full...)
Would he date me or does he want me to be his sex buddy?
Q. I'm going to try not to be biased... I've been speaking to this man once or twice a month online for the last 18months. We planned to meet up a few times but have both flaked on eachother many times. In the past he said he's single because h...
A. 12 May 2019: If someone from the off states ‘I would be a bad BF’ that’s a red flag that they’re not looking for serious. He’s coming up with excuses before it’s even begun.
3 dates in 1.5 years? I met my GF more times I one week when we were dating lol
I... (read in full...)
I ended the affair but the man I was involved with is blackmailing me into talking to him threatening me that he'll tell my husband
Q. I’m a married woman but was going through a really bad patch with my husband and I started to get depression... while I was going through that I started chatting to a man online... we met and started an affair.... he knew I was married.... anyway he ...
A. 11 May 2019: You made this mess so own up to it!
Stop trying to act the victim here! Blaming an affair on depression? Give me a break, everyone knows right from wrong whether they have stressful issues to deal with or not.
You either block the guy and hope... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but has a girlfriend. How do I get her out of the picture?
Q. I’ve been dating a friend that I have known for over 30 years. Only thing is that he has a girlfriend. He has been with her since August 2016. My husband passed away in 2017 early and he has been there for me. We started seeing each other in Late ...
A. 11 May 2019: Wow, just wow. 41-50?? You sound like a teenager!
This guy is playing you like a fiddle! What self respecting woman would get involved with someone who’s in a relationship? He’s showing you his true colours from the off! He’s a cheater, he gets ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB starting to get feelings for me?
Q. My friend with benefits knows i like him more than what we have we talked about things a while back he said he doesnt feel the same way but at the weekend we did a lot more than usual and he made a point of wanting to hold my hand and wanted to keep ...
A. 9 May 2019: Why even waste your time?
You should have to CONVINCE someone to date you, or wait for them to decide whether they like you or not. You either do or you don’t, there’s nothing to consider in a situation like this.... (read in full...)
I know I should just walk away .... but I love him.
Q. Hi I wonder if anyone can help me.. So I have been with my boyfriend for just over 3years and also he's an overthinker and recently he was feeling a little depressed. I supported him and was going out of my way to be there all the time .. he was m...
A. 9 May 2019: Not sure what you love here exactly, sounds like a prick to be quite honest.
You had an operation and he didn’t fuss over you in the slightest yet YOU let HIM down for not getting his son a birthday present?
You can do better. ... (read in full...)
I've been a mistress for a long time and am starting to get bored with it all.
Q. Hi guys. I've been a mistress for a long time. I can't really talk to people about this. But I'd like to know if it's normal to grow tired of being in a "relationship" which never grows or evolves? I am feeling tired of being a sex toy. Tired of ...
A. 9 May 2019: Of course it is.
Who WOULDNT get tired of being used for sex? I think that would be more unusual.
You’ve realised this situation has hit its expiration date. You’re sick of his lying and his bullshit! He tells you what you want to hear and it k... (read in full...)
Is my FWB starting to get feelings for me?
Q. My friend with benefits knows i like him more than what we have we talked about things a while back he said he doesnt feel the same way but at the weekend we did a lot more than usual and he made a point of wanting to hold my hand and wanted to keep ...
A. 9 May 2019: Yes, you’re reading into things.
He KNOWS you like him. If he doesn’t do anything about it, then this isn’t progressing anywhere. I don’t see anything here to suggest that he likes you, it IS possible to show affection to a FWB without there be... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but doesn't respond to my texts
Q. I met a guy on a dating App about a month ago. We hit it off well - he seemed sweet and respectful. We met and there was a lot of sparks and chemistry. We both have complicated relationship statuses - he's divorced with a child from the marriag...
A. 9 May 2019: Yes, there’s no future here you’re spot on.
Block him and move on. My guess would be he’s looking for someone to hook up with in the same town as where his parents live, how very convenient! If he wanted to make the effort he would do. No one c... (read in full...)
Does she deserve to know what happened during the break up?
Q. So my partner of five years broke up with me four months ago. She totally broke my heart but we stayed friends and I knew that she wasn't sure if the break up was the right decision but that she needed time to figure things out. She knew that I ...
A. 8 May 2019: No, why should she? It’s none of her business.
The thing you SHOULD be asking is whether getting back together is a good idea or not. She’s already broken up with you for whatever reason so that is a HUGE red flag that you’re not as compatib... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of dogs and now I'm in love with a person who has a dog
Q. I'm 33 years old male and as silly as it might sound, I've been terrified of dogs my whole life. When I was 8 years old I was attacked by pack of dogs and I was bitten so severely I had to spend weeks in hospital. I still have scars and ever since ...
A. 8 May 2019: This isn’t silly, this is a completely understandable fear. You went through a very traumatic experience and it’s expected to have developed a fear of dogs in response.
You NEED to communicate this fear to your partner. You can’t go into a mental... (read in full...)
I want to hear from you - especially the male ‘aunts’ - if you think he likes me?!?
Q. I'm really confused and need your help. Sorry, buckle in... it's gonna be a bit long but the details are important. I promise. I started University in August, and my major is really small. There's this really shy/quiet guy in my major, so he's e...
A. 7 May 2019: He is in a RELATIONSHIP. You are WELL AWARE of that fact. You HELPED him to CHEAT on his partner and you are STILL sticking around. You aren’t interested in developing a friendship, don’t try to kid us and yourself. You like this guy, it’s obvious ... (read in full...)
She can’t choose between us two!
Q. I had a girlfriend who we met when she was in a relationship i won her then after few months she dumped me and went back to him,after 9 months she came back stalking me saying im the love of his life and she is still with her boyfriend when i ask ...
A. 7 May 2019: Are you genuinely willing to let this girl discard you and then pick you back up whenever she fancies? If you do then you need to get a grip, you aren’t a doormat so don’t act like one.
Block and move on, simple.... (read in full...)
Is this relationship even worth it?
Q. Hello and thanks So my fiancé and I have been together over two years. He has cheated in the past and I forgave him. Lately our relationship has been strained he has been irritable with me , less affectionate as well. I began t...
A. 7 May 2019: It wasn’t worth it after the first time he cheated, why would it be after the second? Where’s your self respect.
Move on... (read in full...)
My friend lead me on, flirted a lot with me.. then ditched me for another girl forgetting that I existed. I feel hurt and embarrassed, help?
Q. So I'm 25 and I've been friends with this guy for about a year, he's in my friendship group and he previously had a girlfriend, nothing ever happened between us and previously i always just saw him as a friend. Anyway he broke up with his girlfriend ...
A. 4 May 2019: Don’t ACT like it doesn’t bother do not LET it bother you.
So you had a bit of flirty back and forth, so what? It doesn’t mean you were destined to get together does it? He saw another girl he wanted to pursue and he went for it. You now know he ... (read in full...)
How to turn down Guys?
Q. So I feel a little ridiculous posting this but I never thought I'd have this problem! I need to figure out how to quickly, unambiguously turn men down. I feel so uncomfortable doing it that sometimes when I am asked to get together, I just...
A. 4 May 2019: You say ‘Thanks for the offer but I’m don’t see any romantic feelings here/not looking to date right now/not interested’.
Any of those will suffice. ... (read in full...)
Is he just looking for fun online?
Q. I have recently become friendly with a guy who is my plumber. Yes he flirts and admitted that he likes the bigger bust. He has sent me a photo when he was drunk of his body with permisson and we have chatted from time to time and he has said that ...
A. 2 May 2019: If someone brings up sex before any kind of suggestion of a date it’s very clear what they’re after. ... (read in full...)
Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 2 May 2019: I said it last time and I’ll say it again.
You are being scammed. ... (read in full...)
I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 1 May 2019: Block and move on, what a prick.... (read in full...)
He says his affair was my fault. I am emotionally exhausted!
Q. My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I got married young (21) and he was 25. I knew at the time that he was a bit insecure but I guess I was young and naïve. The insecurity is getting worse and worse. A couple of years ago, I h...
A. 1 May 2019: Jesus wept. Your fault? Is he for real?
Get out immediately, no advice needed. This relationship is dead. ... (read in full...)
Should I make him my friend with benefits
Q. So I met a guy about 14 years ago and was instantly attracted to him. He had a girlfriend at the time and I had just got into a new relationship too. I’m not going to lie there was one or 2 nights we hooked up and did things we shouldn’t of ...
A. 1 May 2019: Come on, you’re a grown woman.
Does a man who’s sending nudes and begging you for sex want something serious or sex? Really?
As mentioned, you’re pretty hypocritical. You don’t trust him, yet YOU cheated on an ex partner with him? Get a grip.... (read in full...)
I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy
Q. I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...
A. 1 May 2019: ‘My actual question was is it too much to ask for a call from someone you intend to have a relationship with?’
Your post was awfully long winded if that’s all you wanted to know.
Here’s the answer: No... (read in full...)
I'd really like a hobby. Should I take a comedy course?
Q. i often put myself down but i can give at least a list of ten things i like about myself and for any of the other cupid users i hope this doesnt come across as big headed but i do think i am naturally a funny , witty creative person . in the pa...
A. 29 April 2019: Yes, definitely.
If you have a keen interest in it then why not? It won’t be wasted if it’s something you enjoy will it?
Who knows what could come of it? £90 would be a small price to pay if it led to the beginning of a career in comedy. Even ... (read in full...)
Was I too slow in making the right move?
Q. Hello everyone, I met a girl like two month back and from then we started chatting and talking. I really like her even from the first time I saw her, I decided to take things further slowly(from being friend to relationship). But one thing I noticed ...
A. 29 April 2019: Yes, you shouldn’t have told her. That’s pretty selfish tbh, she’s in a relationship and has feelings for her partner. She may of liked you in the past or had some feelings but neither of you acted upon them, her BF did, therefore to interfere with ... (read in full...)
I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy
Q. I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...
A. 29 April 2019: I’m sorry but this is ridiculous. You sound like children, 26 and 41? You must be kidding, this is one of the most childish things I’ve read on this site to date.
HOW could you let this go on for 4 YEARS?! You thought you had a connecti... (read in full...)
Why do people who know your struggles try and tear u down?
Q. Hi everybody. So 2 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and body dysmophia i also suffer from social anxiety but i started medication and got myself out to the gym and i feel great 80% of the time which is amazing for me. Anyways, my body ...
A. 28 April 2019: It sounds like you’ve come a long way and you should be proud of yourself. Don’t let people get into your head, I know it’s easy for a stranger on the internet to say that but it’s really not worth it and their opinion is irrelevant. All that ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in reincarnation or soulmates?
Q. Do any of you believe in reincarnation or soulmates? My partner and I have such a deep connection that was so instant that it was like we've known each other for years. So I was just curious if anyone else has experienced anything similar. ...
A. 28 April 2019: No, I don’t.
There’s definitely not just 1 person that you’re MEANT to meet. Think how many people exist on this planet that you’re never going to meet. How many different countries there are that you’re never going to visit and how many people i... (read in full...)
I had sex with another man because its what my husband wanted and now he's mad
Q. How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later ...
A. 28 April 2019: What was your husband doing whilst this ‘dare’ was going on? Why didn’t he say right there and then that he didn’t want it to happen?
You say he wanted it to happen, but where exactly did he ASK for this to occur? He said it was a FANTASY and that... (read in full...)
What happens when male and female best friends share a bed for the night?
Q. I recently moved into my own apartment. It's a one bedroom and I don't have any furniture. My long time female friend plans to stay over this weekend so that she can 1. see the place and 2. not have to go all the way home after we watch a movie ...
A. 27 April 2019: It sounds like you’re wanting something to happen.
It’s really simple to just roll over and fall asleep. ... (read in full...)
I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 24 April 2019: He’s not over her, not even close. He’s barely even started the grieving period, people can’t just hop around in different relationships and act like there won’t be any consequences.
LISTEN to your gut. If he winces at the mention of her name doe... (read in full...)
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