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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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How do I spot a player? I think I may be dating one. Please Help.
Q. Question for the players and former players out there: Why did you do it? And would you tell a girl that you wanted something serious to continue to string her along? And what about when you were caught? Did you fess up and walk away ? Or deny ...
A. 20 December 2011: Its hard to say - all players have their own ways so there are no 'rules' as such to help you spot one. What makes you think your guy is a player? Without that information it is hard to help you.
But to try and generalise, well a 'player' by defin... (read in full...)
How do I spot a player? I think I may be dating one. Please Help.
Q. Question for the players and former players out there: Why did you do it? And would you tell a girl that you wanted something serious to continue to string her along? And what about when you were caught? Did you fess up and walk away ? Or deny ...
A. 20 December 2011: Its hard to say - all players have their own ways so there are no 'rules' as such to help you spot one. What makes you think your guy is a player? Without that information it is hard to help you.
But to try and generalise, well a 'player' by defin... (read in full...)
Would he cheat if he had a chance to?
Q. me and my boyfriend are having some problems at the moment. he has been messahing other girls asking for nacked pics and chatting other girls up he says it werent him but i dont thinl i believe him. we have a lil girl together and thought we were ...
A. 19 December 2011: If he has been messaging other girls and you have actual PROOF (not just your word against his) then he has already been cheating on you. Yes he might not have physically cheated but he has emotionally cheated and broke your trust.
He is going be... (read in full...)
I'm falling for this guy, but the possibility of being just another one of "those girls" is really starting to scare me
Q. I'm almost sixteen, but before you start judging me and my situation based on my age, just know that I am a lot more mature than some people. I've had the opportunity to have a boyfriend in the past, but this is my first one. He is everything I ...
A. 19 December 2011: Everyone has a past - but at the end of the day the past is in the past, if he has shown you that he has changed then give him the benefit of the doubt.
It sounds to me like he is being genuine, if he just wanted sex then he would have gotten b... (read in full...)
Had sex with my younger personal trainer who is in a relationship and now I feel totally used!
Q. So after being a client for the last 5-1/2 months (he's my personal trainer, once a week) We started texting each other, then we starting sexting, sending pictures of our selves. He is not single, I am, however he is 17s my junior. We broke down ...
A. 19 December 2011: Look - he is in a relationship and cheated on his partner with you, he was only ever going to use you for sex!! He already has a relationship, so all he will want now is just sex on the side, and you fit the bill nicely. I dont know what you ... (read in full...)
Is what I'm feeling normal and will I adjust over time?
Q. Hi, I broke up with a very long term partner - nearly two decades a few months ago - and at first I found it really difficult because we had become co-dependent. We want to remain friends because we have such a long history together and although it ...
A. 19 December 2011: What you are feeling is completely normal - a partner often becomes a best friend and is the only person who really gets you, so when you break up you miss that and it is sometimes frustrating that your other friends, who you never needed to 'get ... (read in full...)
My second marriage, his first... what is the proper way to go about this? Is it inappropriate to have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, register for gifts? Standard wedding dress or something a little more low key?
Q. This will be my second wedding and my fiance's first. I was married for 5 yrs and it didnt work out. My fiance and i dated for a yr and then he asked me to marry him. This is his first so i want him and his family to experience the whole "first ...
A. 15 December 2011: To be honest, who cares what everyone else thinks - all that matters is you do what you and your fiance want. If you both want a traditional wedding then go for it, this is YOUR wedding so to hell with everyone else, do what makes you (as a couple) ... (read in full...)
I feel like a loser in Life! What do I do?
Q. I feel like a loser. I know this is not relationship based, but I do need some help or advice or just someone to read this. I am in my late twenties, I dont have a job, I dont have a a partner, I dont have any family or friends, and I dont have ...
A. 14 December 2011: Well if you dont have anything (which isnt true by the way - you are still living therefore you are alive, you will have a roof over your head, food, water....so much more than what many people have, think of the people starving in Africa or the ... (read in full...)
Nervous about being away from my boyfriend...
Q. I am going home for the holidays for almost a month during my college break. My family lives very far away from me, our rather I moved very far away from them. My boyfriend couldn't get off of work for the whole two weeks so he is flying out after ...
A. 14 December 2011: I always think a bit of time apart is a positive thing, it allows you some space to be yourself, do the things you want to do, and gives you time to miss your partner which is actually a lovely thing. If after years together you still miss each ... (read in full...)
8 months pregnant, and my partner seems to be getting more and more distant and resentful as the due date is approaching
Q. So i am eight months pregnant and lately the father of the baby/my boyfriend has been acting...distant. its so subtle it almost makes me think im imagining things but we have been together for two years and i know when something is different. Its ...
A. 14 December 2011: Well it sounds to me like he is simply wishing he wasnt having a baby and is resenting giving up his youth to become a father. After all, you are both incredibly young to be having a child so he wont be mature enough for this responsiblity anyway. ... (read in full...)
I unfriended an ex on Facebook, and I just added him again. Now its awkward!
Q. I dated Mr T for a short time and he ended things. We were friends first through work. I've carried a torch for years btw it hurt a lot when he ended it so I defriended him in FB not to hurt him but for the following reasons, to: Keep me from spy...
A. 14 December 2011: Simply explain that at the time you de-friended him because you were hurt and needed some time to get over the ending of the relationship. But now you are over it and would like to be friends again.
That should be more than enough to explain ... (read in full...)
Too early to talk babies?
Q. Im in a relationship and have been for 10 months my partner split with his last girlfriend of 9 years they have one child 6 and still txt as if there friends in jan she walked out I was there for him and we got close and now where together he really ...
A. 14 December 2011: I think it probably is too early, he got with you very quickly after a long term, very serious relationship ended so chances are he is still getting over his ex, even if he may seem fine and say he is over her - there will still be some residual ... (read in full...)
Why is she angry at me?
Q. We have met 3 times. And the 4th time i asked her out through facebook..She told she will get back to me..After 6 days she didnt respond..i send her a random message asking her favourite movie and then two days a later a funny video on ...
A. 14 December 2011: Just be polite if you bump into her - say hello but nothing more. There is no need to be nasty or ignore her, so keep things civil. I'm sure you will move on in a couple of weeks and you will forget all about this!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Do women want powerful, wealthy men more than considerate, nice guys?
Q. I know nobody wants a wimp. But do all women prefer the self-absorbed jerk with power over the nice, middle class guy who is considerate of a woman's feelings? Is the law of the jungle and the law of human love really the same?...
A. 13 December 2011: I would want some sort of combination I guess - although the money is not so important to me as I earn good money and dont need a man to pay for me, I can happily support myself. When I was younger I used to think money was important but recently I ... (read in full...)
Living with my ex after his marriage failed and hoping to get back together but he is still talking to his ex wife....how long is this going to go on for? I feel like piggy in the middle!
Q. My ex split from his wife a few months ago and has been renting a room from me since. The reason why he chose my place is because I have a son for him and thought that we'd get it back on as he made a mistake marrying her. (He's been out of my life ...
A. 13 December 2011: What should you do? Ask him to move out and forget about him once and for all.
You have said it yourself - "he wants a cook, cleaner, bed partner". Hence why he is playing you, he is trying to have his cake and eat it. He knows he has 2 women wh... (read in full...)
He is a loner - should I be worried?
Q. Hi guys, the guy im currently seeing confessed that he is a loner and the best times are when he is alone, should i be worried?...
A. 13 December 2011: Not really - as long as you like him and enjoy being with him then his preferences for his private time shouldnt really matter. Is he happy when he is with you? Does he enjoy spending time with you?
The only reason you could possibly be worried ... (read in full...)
Does he have something to hide?
Q. Does anyone else think that this guy has something to hide? Ive being going with this guy for over a year and I have never met his friends apart from one. I have never met any of his family. His family know about me but to how much i dont know. H...
A. 13 December 2011: He does sound like a fairly private guy to be honest, if his friend said to you that you are the first girlfriend he has every mentioned well that shows he doesnt talk much about girlfriends, let alone have anyone meet his girlfriends!
But n... (read in full...)
I just lost my virginity to my best guy friend, but he is returning to his home country tomorrow. What should I do?
Q. Here's the whole story. I met this guy when we started secondary school together (we were both 11) and we had a sort of thing going on. We were both too young to know what we actually wanted and both were too immature to think about having a ...
A. 13 December 2011: Honestly you havent done anything wrong - I think you are just upset that the guy you have a really special connection with is leaving again.
Losing your virginity to someone you really care about is no bad thing, it is so much better than los... (read in full...)
Is he really that messed up that he doesn't want to talk anymore because I didn't give him sex?
Q. I became friends with this cute guy on Facebook back in July. The only reason I found him was because of mutual and similar friends on Facebook. If you all know how Facebook works you may have heard of the whole poking each other deal. In S...
A. 13 December 2011: All he wanted from you was sex, and when he didnt get it he got pissed off and has moved on. Probably to the next girl trying to do the same thing all over again.
Some men will say ANYTHING to get a girl into bed, they think they can use these li... (read in full...)
Why is she angry at me?
Q. We have met 3 times. And the 4th time i asked her out through facebook..She told she will get back to me..After 6 days she didnt respond..i send her a random message asking her favourite movie and then two days a later a funny video on ...
A. 13 December 2011: She is not angry with you - she simply is not interested in dating you anymore and doesnt want to see you again.
There is nothing you can do I'm afraid, you cant make her like you so all you can do is move on and look for someone else.
Yes ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity and could I be pregnant?
Q. Hi...I'm a 21year old and I'm still a virgin so I'm really clueless about sex. My boyfriend and I were making out so things got heated, we both ended with just our underwear on. I don't know if this is regarded dry sex or not but I was laying flat ...
A. 13 December 2011: Sperm cannot travel through fabric - simple as that. As I said before, sperm really has to be inside your vagina in order for it to travel to reach your egg and then fertilise it. If there was no underwear and the penis was very close to the ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and my family hasn't talk to me since I told them I'm pregnant. How do I get them back?
Q. I'm 15 and having a baby what should i do? i'm keeping the baby but my family hasn't talk to me since I told them. I want my family back, so what should I do? I can't do this on my own, they want nothing to do with me. ...
A. 12 December 2011: First of all I am sorry you are in this situation, I cant imagine how difficult it must be for you.
But you have to try and stop for a second and think about this from your parent's point of view. Their baby (you) has gotten pregnant and is throw... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity and could I be pregnant?
Q. Hi...I'm a 21year old and I'm still a virgin so I'm really clueless about sex. My boyfriend and I were making out so things got heated, we both ended with just our underwear on. I don't know if this is regarded dry sex or not but I was laying flat ...
A. 12 December 2011: If you had your underwear on then no, you have not lost your virginity nor could you be pregnant.
Generally the only way to get pregnant is to have a man ejaculate inside your vagina. If he ejaculated on your vagina (without underwear on) then... (read in full...)
Dating Sites - Good or Bad?
Q. Dating Sites..Good or bad? I've got serious doubts on whether dating sites are a good way to meet anyone. I'm not the most outgoing of people and I'm trying to think of a way to get proactive in finding a relationship. (After all, I can't expect M...
A. 7 December 2011: I have used dating sites on and off for nearly 3 years now, I met my last long term boyfriend on a dating site (match.com) and we were together 2 years. He was fantastic and we had a great relationship, yes it didnt work out but he was and still is ... (read in full...)
Finally found someone I connect with on an intellectual level, as well as an intimate level...but he just so happens to be my literature professor. How do I go about starting a relationship with him?
Q. I've always been a hopeless romantic, but I love the feeling I get when I find someone that I enjoy talking to in an intellectual sense as well as on a more intimate level. Recently, I've met someone that has inspired me in so many ways I cant even ...
A. 7 December 2011: Quite simply - unless you want him to lose his job and ruin his career, and possibly go to prison and have a permanent criminal record - then you cannot have a relationship with him, end of story.
He is your professor, therefore in the eyes of ... (read in full...)
I'm married, met someone online and thinking of going further. Will I regret it?
Q. Well I have been threw many ups and downs in my relationship . It was very long and ans stressful experience for,but my husband actually made a 360 degree improvement .So I should be happy right ? The truth is I don't really care .He did not care ...
A. 7 December 2011: It wont mean that you will be labelled as a slut (generally a slut is a person who has slept with multiple partners often in a one night stand scenario). However it WILL make you a cheat, a liar, an adulterer and a heartbreaker. Which are all ... (read in full...)
Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works?
Q. Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works? I keep getting different answers from different sources. It's my understanding that it's supposed to delay or even prevent ovulation (if your body has not yet already ovulated...
A. 6 December 2011: This should explain it - http://www.levonelle.co.uk/about-levonelle/how-does-it-work.htm
Basically it does stop ovulation so the sperm cant fertilise the egg (because there is no egg). If you have already ovulated, then it moves onto the next ste... (read in full...)
What's on this older guy's mind? Why doesn't he text me like he used to?
Q. Hi i'm really confused... There's a guy i've been texting for sometime now. We have an age gap of 9 years but i really like him. We used to text throughout the day. When we first met, i really thought everything went well because he did text and...
A. 6 December 2011: Look you are only texting this guy, it doesnt even sound like you have been on a date so none of us can tell you why he is texting you less - you will have to ask him to find out.
But one thing is for sure, it definitely sounds like he is not o... (read in full...)
I'm starting to lose trust on my fiancée. She lived with a male roommate and when I visited her, her sofa smelt like sex!!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm becoming not to trust my bride. Tobe. She had a male roommate for about a year he recently moved from her home. Just a few blocks away I live farther distance. I. Viset her and her sofa smelled like sex.I got angrry and left after co...
A. 6 December 2011: You are making an issue over nothing. Chances are your fiancee is telling the truth, her roomate could have had sex with another girl on the sofa while your fiancee was out, that is more likely to have happened than your fiancee cheating on you.
... (read in full...)
He said I don't text enough. He accused me of seeing someone else. Not true. Now his texts are sporadic. What is going on?
Q. Hi everyone this is the story. I met this man in march he asked me out. I agreed. We saw each other maybe every two or three weeks. He lives six doors away from me. It has been like this since I have been patient with him, but it is starting to ...
A. 6 December 2011: He is not interested in you and is playing games. That is what I think.
I say this so often on this website - men are very simple creatures. If they like a girl then they will chase her - they will be texting or calling, arranging dates and in g... (read in full...)
My fiancee does not want her parents told we are engaged. How do I build a better relationship with her parents? Kind answers only please!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months and are now happily engaged. Seems simple enough, right? Well we are both 17 and out parents don't exactly approve. My father says that he is happy that I have found someone I would like to ...
A. 5 December 2011: I'm not exactly clear on what you are asking here?
From what you have told us her mother likes you and her father is not your biggest fan but then again your girlfriend doesnt see much of him anyway so the relationship even between father a... (read in full...)
How do I stop this "daddy complex"?
Q. right im in a bit of a situation i seem to have developed a bit of a 'daddy complex' and i dont know how to stop it. im 16 and to be honest i dont have the best relationship with my dad ( whihc i believe contributes to this ) but all the men i fa...
A. 2 December 2011: Counselling and repairing your relationship with your father are the only ways to stop this. There are plenty of free therpay/counselling services for teenagers & young adults in the UK, have a search on the internet or see your GP who will be able ... (read in full...)
I gave him his freedom but now I want him back
Q. I was recently seeing someone that I loved so much. He was also "my first". I found out he had some other girl he was attracted to but couldn't get anything real started with her because we were still together. Soooo... I kinda told him I wanted h...
A. 2 December 2011: Why do you want to be with a man who wants to be with another girl instead of you? Where is your self respect?!
You can do better, dont waste your time going back to him - instead look for a man who wants to be with you as much as you want to ... (read in full...)
Birth Control pills to control Period. Opinions please?
Q. I've recently decided to go on the pill, not for sexual reasons, but because the pain of periods is unbearable, and I'm always such a mean, cranky person when I'm on my period! I want to get something to either reduce or get rid of (4 periods a year ...
A. 2 December 2011: So_Very_Confused - sorry but I'm afraid you are right when you say you have a 'limited understanding' - this article should clear things up:
http://www.midlife-passages.com/menstrua.htm
"When birth control pills are given to a woman, they wi... (read in full...)
Birth Control pills to control Period. Opinions please?
Q. I've recently decided to go on the pill, not for sexual reasons, but because the pain of periods is unbearable, and I'm always such a mean, cranky person when I'm on my period! I want to get something to either reduce or get rid of (4 periods a year ...
A. 30 November 2011: Regardless of whether you want kids or not, it is the build up of unused womb lining that creeps me out! I'm not bothered about kids for a long time but the idea of all that lining just sitting around rotting inside me is disgusting, I would rather ... (read in full...)
I love my GF but I think she is cheating. What should I do?
Q. Help needed with troubled relationship should I trust her, do I end it and is she cheating. To cut a long story short I have been with my girlfriend for around 2 years and love her very much we've been through alot together. At first it was gre...
A. 30 November 2011: I'm not sure if she is cheating or not, but it definitely sounds like she may be developing feelings for him hence the need for the time to think.
I think you just need to give her space, and wait and see what she has to say - hopefully she will... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my bf wants to first better financial situation. What should I do?
Q. Im 16 and lost twins 4 months and i was 5 months pregnant, it was the hardest thing ive ever had to go throu but my boyfriend was really supportive. after just getting sorted about forgetting loosing my twins ive started to really want another baby ...
A. 30 November 2011: I am very sorry you lost your twins, I cant imagine how hard that must have been for you.
However, you are only 16 and £800 per month is not even close to enough to afford a baby. I earn around £1,300 per month and I struggle to support myself o... (read in full...)
Why do guys find it easy to orgasm, but many women never do?
Q. You always read about women having problems with this. Yet never any guys. Why is this? Is it because it's more taboo if a women does?...
A. 30 November 2011: I have been single for the first time in a few years as of July this year and in that space of time I have dated 2 guys who both cant orgasm - so it definitely does happen to men as well!
I think for women it is harder for us to orgasm sometime... (read in full...)
I am interested in a 17 year old girl and her mother is encouraging us to have sex! Why??
Q. I am interested in a 17 year old girl who seems to like me but is a little reserved.She is an only child. Her mother is encouraging the relationship actively. She even told me that sex was okay if I loved her. What is mother up to? I find it a ...
A. 30 November 2011: Not sure what the mother is up to but it is definitely weird and creepy - you are right to be concerned!
My only thoughts are that maybe the 17 year old has never had a boyfriend before (if he is reserved like you say) and maybe her mum is happy... (read in full...)
I'm not model material and don't want my b/f to photograph me
Q. My boyfriend is a photographer, and he wants to photograph me for part of his portfolio. I insists I should do it but I'm so worried. The other girls he photographs are skinny models. I'm a uk size 8-10. I know I'm not fat but I will just not look ...
A. 30 November 2011: My ex was a photographer and I HATE having my photo taken, unlike you I am not even close to being thin, I am a curvy 12-14 and do not look good in photos!
However my ex even managed to make me look good in pictures, so I can guarantee you bein... (read in full...)
Birth Control pills to control Period. Opinions please?
Q. I've recently decided to go on the pill, not for sexual reasons, but because the pain of periods is unbearable, and I'm always such a mean, cranky person when I'm on my period! I want to get something to either reduce or get rid of (4 periods a year ...
A. 30 November 2011: The best person to speak to is a doctor - tell them why you want to use birth control and they will be able to tell you what will work best for you. Also, this website might help ... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me over 12 times and gave me a STD. How do I cope with my hurt and the feeling he's going to do it again and soon?
Q. I've been with the same guy for 4 years we have a baby together but in the past 2 years he cheated on me over 12 times. One of the times he gave me an std I found out from his sisters friend because he gave it to her as well. Another time a girl ...
A. 30 November 2011: You know full well that he is going to hurt you again - and this is because he doesnt love you, he doesnt care about you and he doesnt respect you. He has cheated over 12 times and given you a disease - he thinks so little of you that he is happy to ... (read in full...)
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