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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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I accused her of cheating because she's always with my best mate; we broke up and I want her back
Q. i have just split up with my girlfriend because i accused her of cheating. we have been good friends for 4 years, and started seeing each other 4 months ago. i'm in the navy, so that means that i'm away all the time. we have the same group of ...
A. 22 July 2007: Hey There,
You said you've only been seeing this girl for four months, after knowing her for four years. I am assuming you have only been in a sexual relationship with her for the four months and in all honesty, this is not a long time. If she i... (read in full...)
His body language tells me he doesn't love me
Q. I have been with my partner for just over a year. He has post traumatic stress and anxiety. He goes on very low moods and can say some hurtful things like he doesnt love me, he wants to leave etc.. Then wen he comes out a low he says he didnt mean ...
A. 22 July 2007: Im so sorry that you are suffering so much. Maybe you will just have to 'roll with the punches' for a while and believe anything positive your partner says to be the truth. I am sure he wouldn't still be there if he didn't still care about you and ... (read in full...)
He as nice to me on the bus, but then sent nasty instant messages on the computer
Q. This boy who I sort of like is always flirting with me on the bus and on Thursday afternoon on the bus back from school he tried to get one of my best friends to move so that he could sit next to me. He is really nice to me on the bus and he also ...
A. 21 July 2007: Sounds like he is a little immature. Being nice to you on the bus and then being nasty to you over the internet. I would cut your losses and just put it down to a bad experience. Move on and save yourself for someone nicer.
Aunty Em x... (read in full...)
His body language tells me he doesn't love me
Q. I have been with my partner for just over a year. He has post traumatic stress and anxiety. He goes on very low moods and can say some hurtful things like he doesnt love me, he wants to leave etc.. Then wen he comes out a low he says he didnt mean ...
A. 21 July 2007: Hey there,
It sounds to me as if your partner is in some kind of a depression and suffering from low self esteem and guilt brought on by the PTSD. This could explain his loss of libido and his vast mood swings. Its very hard to say what might be... (read in full...)
My online romance doesn't love her husband but I feel like I don't compare
Q. I am 21, living with my parents, working full-time, and a college student. I only have a few friends to start off because I enjoy being alone most of the time. I love spending time online. Because of that, I met this girl from another state, she's ...
A. 21 July 2007: I am not surprised that you feel on an emotional rollercoaster...you have gotten yourself into a near impossible situation. I agree with all the comments made by the agony aunts here as they are all very valid points but I also want to add ... (read in full...)
I'm keeping a secret that could blow up in my face
Q. So I've been sexually abused, and I can handle most of it just fine, except for one thing. I have a HUGE problem with people touching me, mostly family. My dad thinks that it means I dont love him, and he had told me before that its okay if he ...
A. 21 July 2007: There are two old sayings. 'The truth will out' and 'That which does not kill us, makes us stronger'
You have had a terrible thing that has happened to you and it's affecting your relationships with your family and mostly your dad. You say you ... (read in full...)
I am trying to move on with my life. Any suggestions?
Q. ok,some of you may have read my "His daughter is ruining our relationship" He has now left our family home,i've heard enough tosh to last me a lifetime,he has now gone against everything he has said and is moving to "their" town "because it's che...
A. 19 July 2007: I split with my husband after 21 years of being together and I have to say whether you wanted it to end or not, the effects are devastating. I know what you mean when you talk about breathing, it does feel like that and it can be very hard to ... (read in full...)
Are you single? Please reply here!
Q. Hi everyone Andrew, site guy here.. Just doing a poll to see how many visitors to the site are SINGLE and would be interested in a (free, of course) DearCupid dating service. Just reply to this post. Thanks! A....
A. 19 July 2007:
A separate date site would be brilliant. Anything that brings people together is good. Go for it!!!
Aunty Em... (read in full...)
Is it possible for my tongue to reach my boyfriend's prostate?
Q. Can my tongue reach my boyfriend's prostate? I know it's not as long as my finger, I'm just not sure if it's worth trying or if I'll just strain my tongue...! So far we've mostly just done external tongue stimulation with a little bit of ...
A. 19 July 2007: The prostate gland is located right at the base of the bladder at the end of the urethra which runs out and along the length of the penis. I doubt you would be able to reach it with your tongue, and if you tried to reach it by any means, I am sure ... (read in full...)
We've had sex once after our baby was born 8 months ago; I found out he's been watching porn and masturbating
Q. I have a 8months old baby. after i gave birth my husband and i had sex just one time till now and i found he wathches the porno DVD every other day and also masterbate I don't know what to do? i tried everythin . nothing worked please help me ...
A. 19 July 2007: First I wanna say congratulations! on the new baby. Its a wonderful time when your kids are first born, but it can also be a time of worry and stress and can make you really tired as raising children is a lot of hard work isn't it.
Its also not... (read in full...)
Him and his brothers have become obsessed with Xbox 360 live. They will sit in front of the TV for several hours to play.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I love him so much. Lately he has been acting wierd. I can't figure out what it is. I know he has been getting frustrated because we have been fighting all the time in the last 2 months. I am not ...
A. 19 July 2007: It seems right at the end, you answered your own question.
'I don't want them to look at us as weak but we are not ready to leave them yet'
These brothers have you and your friend exactly where they want you both. They can continue to trea... (read in full...)
Is the CD she sent me a hint?
Q. Hi. I like a Canadian girl who is Jewish, too. I am Mexican. She came to my country once, for work, and we had a very good time together. I think she was flirty to me, to some point, and we have been corresponding ever since she left. This...
A. 19 July 2007: This does seem like a pretty big hint she is making to you.People like to be symbolic and they do put great store in the meaning of objects and things connected to any relationship. I think it's why we do stuff like pressing flowers from a bouquet ... (read in full...)
I love him but he only likes me, so all we do is 'hook up'
Q. I am deeply in love with a guy I know but he doesn't like me back and instead we 'hook' up a lot. What should I do? Continue with the hook ups or try to make him love me back? ...
A. 19 July 2007: Ok Im gonna get tough and tell it like it is girly. You cannot ever make a guy love you in that way, when he has had so much 'hooking up' privaledges with you already. If he has stated he doesn't like (or you assume this from how he treats you) Then ... (read in full...)
Your opinions please, what is going on with this woman?
Q. I met a beautiful woman, last August. She was the proud mother of two beautiful girls. I had been a player all my life, and have 5 kids of my own. I really didn't think she was very serious about a longterm relationship with me. She would ask ...
A. 19 July 2007: I think you both need to back off about a million miles from each other...sit down and really really really think about what a loving trusting caring relationship is. Neither of you have any idea what you want and how to treat someone decently. ... (read in full...)
Is this just lust or could the guy from work really like me?
Q. I'm seeing a guy from work who has a busy work schedule and I only see him when he is in the area on business. There is a strong attraction but I cant help but think has this got a future. Sometimes I feel like im settling for the crumbs off the ...
A. 18 July 2007: I hate to say it, but sounds like this guy has his feet firmly planted elsewhere. The lack of being unable to express anything about how he feels about you smacks of disinterest. To say he is attracted to you and fancies you, isnt exactly stirring ... (read in full...)
She's 13 and wants to give me a handjob. I haven't met her yet and I'm worried about this!
Q. well u c im 12 and my gf is 13 i really like her but dont know her yet....... i met her on mysapce but she doesnt live to far from me... we always text and call and then she brough up that it would be fun if she gave me a hand job and if i fingererd ...
A. 18 July 2007: Your profile says your age 36-40? Are you having us guys on?... (read in full...)
He's freaked out that I finally responded to his crush on me! Why?
Q. why does it freak a guy out when a girl they've had a secret crush on finally shows an interest back and flirts with him, especially if he has no problem with the other ladies that flirt with him?...
A. 18 July 2007: It could be a whole bunch of things that are the reasoning behind this guy freaking out on you.
* Maybe he's liked you for so long and now you have responded, he may be panicking that hes going to screw it up.
* Maybe he has you on a bit of ... (read in full...)
What does she want? Is she really wanting to be with me or not?
Q. I have a question for you guys. I've met a girl and we've had wonderful times together. Recently she went to a different city for work. We still e-mail each other. In one of her e-mails, she says she is so happy she finally has a friend who will ...
A. 18 July 2007:
She sounds very insecure about relationships, maybe she got hurt before? Its sounds like she may also be testing you. By suggesting that she feels things happen for a reason, then she thinks the idea is s**t, and then saying she feels happy, boy ... (read in full...)
My girl friend's 15 year old daughter does not like me..so my gf just wants to be friends! Any advice?
Q. My girl friend's 15 year old daughter does not like me. As a result my girl friend has chosen for us to be just friends and nothing more. Her reasoning is that she does not wish to jeopardize her relationship with her daughter. We dated for 7 months ...
A. 18 July 2007:
How very frustrating a situation to be in.
I hate to be tough on you but is this really about her daughter? or could it possibly be an excuse for her (your girlfriend) to back off from you? You say:
'I want more and she is unsure there will... (read in full...)
Is He Blowing Me Off Or Generally Busy?
Q. Hey, I've Just Started Seeing This Boy And We Spent Some Time Together On A School Trip. Now We're Back At School We See Eachother At Break And Dinner. Well Anyway The Problem Is I've Asked Him If He's Wanted To Go To The Cinema 2 Weekends In A Row...
A. 18 July 2007: Hmmm it's hard to say but what I would say to you is that if a boy really likes you, usually he will do all the asking out. Boys of his age do tend to be a little slow or shy to approach girls, but they might talk about who they fancy to their ... (read in full...)
Do I take it she’s just not interested and move on; as if she was she would have been in touch right?
Q. Hey! Thanks for reading this, hope you can give me some advice. Ok so I posted recently how I was having trouble with my ex, she dumped me claiming she didn’t have time for a relationship, but then a few weeks later made it obvious she want...
A. 18 July 2007: I think your being really decent wanting to wish her luck in her exams but in all honesty it's yet another life line of contact to her. Decide today that 'This is the last day you will have contact'. Don't phone her or text or e-mail your good luck ... (read in full...)
Is it worth investing in this guy?
Q. i met this guy on a dating site we exchanged e-mail address and phone numbers we have been talking for a week now and we found out we have alot in common. He asked me if i talk to anyone else on the site i said yes i get e-mails from others but i ...
A. 17 July 2007: Online chat cannot be considered the start of a relationship. Only when you have met (for real) on several occasions and both feel the same and want to proceed with each other can it be considered anything like a relationship.
Go with your gut... (read in full...)
My thief of a stepson wants to come stay with us for a month!!
Q. What do I do?? My step-son, he is coming to stay with us for a month as his mother is going away. I have 2 children one from my previous marriage and one with my husband and our son has special needs. My step son is out of control teenager who has ...
A. 17 July 2007:
I think your just going to have to go along with this one and trust your husband to deal with his son. Try to establish a few rules before he gets there and tell your husband you expect him will deal with any problems that arise, so it doesn't upse... (read in full...)
I suspect my partner may be cheating - again!
Q. my partner had an affair a year and a half ago.He acts like it was nothing..i have had serious trouble 'getting-over it'. Thing is i am convinced he is at it again...no particlar reason other than 2 main signs that were there the last time and i ...
A. 17 July 2007:
Did you give him an ultimatum last time you found out he was cheating? he must have promised not to do it again to make you forgive him?...and did things improve for you both?...Have these sudden signs happened very quickly and recently?...if so I... (read in full...)
I have been having an online affair and I need to end it!
Q. I am deeply involved in an online affair with a much younger man - Im 35 - he is 21. He thinks I am his age and unattached. He says he wants to marry me. I am married with 4 children and I want to end the online affair. It has been going on for 2 ...
A. 17 July 2007: I think your very brave to face this. The internet has a lot to answer for. It has become a haven for lies and deceit and normal everyday people have been sucked up into it, because it is so easy to cover your tracks, say things you don't mean and ... (read in full...)
Should I apolgize to the new guy I'm seeing for sending him a drunken message?
Q. Hey there, I wrote not so long ago with a dilemma in that I liked a guy who was best mates with a guy I had been seeing altho I have now stopped seeing the first one so no problems there. I am due to see the guy I like next wkd but have done so...
A. 17 July 2007: It probably wouldn't hurt to apologize but don't beat yourself up too much. Just a quick 'Opps sorry bout that message...how are you?' should do it. I hope he still keeps your date and have a great time at the fest!!!... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is very verbally abusive with me! How do I deal with him?
Q. i feel very embarrased about having to ask for some advice on here regarding my 16 year old son. whenever he doesnt get his own way or he is in a bad mood he is becoming very verbally abusive with me, by calling me names such as dickhead and slut ...
A. 17 July 2007: I sympathise with you, as I have had quite a few trials and tribulations with my youngest daughter 15. She is also very much like her dad, who I am no longer with and there are times when she gets verbally abusive and stroppy and makes unreasonable ... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming that my ex husband is being emotionally cruel to me.
Q. My ex husband was very emotionally cruel and sometimes physically. I was with him for a long time and have been seperated from him for 3 months and not seen him at all in this time. I am determined never to go back this time but the thing now is ...
A. 17 July 2007:
It's early days for you girly, but the good news is that you are free from harm. Three months is not enough time for you to forget your past and maybe there are issues you need to work through before you can lay them to rest. The mind is a stra... (read in full...)
Do I take it she’s just not interested and move on; as if she was she would have been in touch right?
Q. Hey! Thanks for reading this, hope you can give me some advice. Ok so I posted recently how I was having trouble with my ex, she dumped me claiming she didn’t have time for a relationship, but then a few weeks later made it obvious she want...
A. 17 July 2007: I feel for you Sweetie. Its a horrible position to find yourself in, when you have invested so much time in her and been so patient. As beautiful as she is, it doesn't disguise the fact that she is treating you badly. Do you deserve that?...nope you ... (read in full...)
I want to end it with her, but I'm not sure I could forgive myself for breaking her heart!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years. She absolutely adores me and would do anything for me. I love her, she is such a wonderful person. However, over the last year I've found myself less attracted to her and wanting to see what its lik...
A. 17 July 2007: You seem to be a very sensitive person and obviously care deeply for your partner, but it seems you have faced some pretty big changes recently, moving to work abroad and having her bring up the subject of marriage and kids. Both of these things ... (read in full...)
Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?
Q. Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?...
A. 17 July 2007: I agree with all previous answers but also consider, some guys actually will hold on until you tell them to cum. I dated two guys who like to do this, one of them didn't tell me at first, he wanted to see if I would ask him. He loved it as soon as ... (read in full...)
My guy is almost perfect...except he still hasn't divorced his wife! Am I wasting my time?
Q. Me and my guy have lived together for 8 years and he is almost the perfect guy he supports me and my children, we have never spent the night apart if he is not working we are spending time together.My problem is that he has not divorced his wife am ...
A. 17 July 2007: I can understand people not wanting to remarry again, but still wanting to be in a loving relationship (which you obviously think you are)Marriage doesn't equate happiness, but him still being married to someone else is obviously a thorn in your ... (read in full...)
I cant stand to see them together and I'm so miserable! What can I do?
Q. This guy i liked (who i dumped my boyfriend for) fancied me, but now hes got a new girlfriend and says he doesn't anymore. Shes so beautiful and is everything Im not, I cant stand to see them together and im so miserable at the moment (im on ...
A. 17 July 2007: Awww sweety don't torture yourself unnecessarilly, no man is worth that. Accept that he has moved on, and so must you. Give yourself time to get over him, before you start anything with another guy. As for the new girl in his life, well just dont go ... (read in full...)
Can you build muscle in your boobs?
Q. Heya!! does anybody no if you build muscles in your boobs will they look bigger? or just harder? THANKYOU XXX...
A. 17 July 2007: As already answered, you cant make your boobs bigger by building up your pectoral muscles, but you could try a groovy padded bra. Don't try the toilet paper thing though. I tried that once and I left a trail of bits all over the floor...not ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 years older than him... Is that bad?
Q. is 13 years older bad? Ive got chatting to a really sweet man but problem is he is 18 and im in my 30's, he wants to met up, im a bit unsure because of the age gap but he looks older then his age. any advice?...
A. 17 July 2007: All I have to say about this is 'Steel your wool girl' and be prepared for heartache. Age shouldnt make a difference and for some its true, but mostly its a big factor, especially when the guy is younger. He will change. I don't think there is a guy ... (read in full...)
Is the pharmacist interested in me?
Q. hi i am having a little struggle not sure what to think i have been seeing a pharmacist at a drug store and he is showing me he always comes to me right away and always talks and stares in my eyes as we talk about meds that i need just recently he ...
A. 17 July 2007: Hmm this is a tricky one and absolutely a mine field of obstacles and questions surround it. * He may be genuinely interested in you * He may just be an irresistable flirt * He may be married and looking for a bit on the side * He may be ver... (read in full...)
We talk, we cuddle, we have sex. But he says we are just friends!
Q. I met this guy online. We met, had a couple of dates then he said it wouldn't work. A few weeks later he contacted me again to see how I was and to apologize for hurting me. We now get together and see each other. He says we are just friends and ...
A. 17 July 2007: This shouldn't be about what he wants, its about what you want and Im going to be tough with you. This guy is using you for emotional support and sex, but he won't ever give you what you need. By stating that he just wants to be 'friends', he is... (read in full...)
How do I stop my brother from being so abusive towards me?
Q. my brother is abusive to me and has been for many years. He is 2 years younger than me and basically picks on me, for example he flicks water at me, hits me,pokes me, does anything which he knows will annoy me! He calls me names, says i have no ...
A. 17 July 2007: Its no secret that younger siblings can be very very annoying. It can be a combination of things that make him so unkind to you and often its hard to find out why. Your brother may be secretly jealous of you (Do you get better grades in school?, do ... (read in full...)
Should I find a better man?
Q. I have been married 15 months - I am attractive and have a very healthy sexual appetite. I am attracted to my husband but he just isnt interested.Its devastating as I am 30 and just feel sex is so important to a relationship and is making me feel v ...
A. 17 July 2007: Hey there, Im sorry your going through all this with your husband. I think the best way to tackle it is to keep calm, evaluate your own behaviour towards your husband (are you argumentative or overly critical of him are you demanding or col... (read in full...)
When we broke up, he asked to stay friends... so why is he avoiding me now?
Q. I have this problem. I broke up with my bf back in the beginning of December and it's been really hard on me even though it was a mutual ending. We said we would still be friends and he even suggested that I call him once in a while to catch up, ...
A. 17 July 2007: I met a guy I had been talking to online for several months. Our friendship extended to lengthy phone calls and text messaging and finally we agreed to meet up. He was very pleasant to me and we got on well, shared a very nice weekend, but suddenly... (read in full...)
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