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Will his children ever forgive me for breaking up their family?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Family, Marriage problems, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 January 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

About a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. Well, shortly after that, a family member of his (whom I've always been attracted to but never thought anything would ever happen because he was married) contacted me to consol me for my breakup. We made small talk and he aked me if I would like to go with him that weekend for a business trip. Well, I accepted and during the course of the weekend he decided he wanted to leave his wife and make me his girlfriend. Well that week he moved out but didnt tell her it was for another woman. Well, two weeks later she arrived atour hotel room and discovered me.

Unfortunately she had their kids with her that day and drug them out of the car to "meet the woman who stole their daddy". I guess I'm asking...will his children ever forgive me as we're planning on getting married?

View related questions: broke up, moved out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

let me try to understand this: you broke up with your bf (been with him for 5 years) . his married family member (how close is he relation to your ex?) contacted you almost immedialtely , met him, went away with him that same weekend. 2 weeks later you are living with this married man and well you both were caught.

rewind.......slowly.

few questions i need to ask:

-how does your ex feel about you sleeping with his married relation?

-his wife- she is gutted right now and you don't seem to care. you STOLE him from her and well , helped yourself to him. how do you even look at yourself in the mirror and HOW do you justify your actions.

- lastly, those innocent kids. their father bailed on them and shacked up with you. two weeks later you are caught with him in a seedy hotel room. this will stay with them for life. in their eyes YOU KNOW what you have done to them. you have robbed them of their dad.

You may have this womans husband, your ex's family member, but YOU WILL NEVER be accepted by his kids. his Wife doesn't have to poisen them against you. your actions speak volumes and well kids can suss out the truth. and as time goes on they will see it. All his wife has to do is sit back and enjoy the sh1t you have created. well, at least you kept it all in the family. That wheel is going to turn slowly. You reap what ypu sow.

Sorry:to "meet the woman who stole their daddy". I guess I'm asking...will his children ever forgive me as we're planning on getting married?: SIMPLE ANSWER : When Hell freezes over!

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (27 January 2010):

My new aunt broke up my uncle's marriage years ago when his youngest child was 6 and the oldest was about 14. Now the youngest is about 18 and is a yob who moves with knives and threatens his step mother for what she did to his parents marriage. The oldest 4 kids are all married and over the years they have physically attacked their step mother and barred her from their weddings or even to see their children. My uncle's marriage to their mother had been rocky for years. Now their mother has her own man who the kids accept but they still hate their stepmom. Enjoy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010):

No

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010):

Highly unlikely, get used to being the woman who stole daddy.

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A female reader, Dinkie United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2010):

not any time soon ... if they are young they might later but there mother might keep it over them what you done.... you will find out in time but for now i wouldnt expect them to

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A male reader, iamaphony United States +, writes (26 January 2010):

Is it your fault? Do the children really not have their "daddy" anymore?

The question you have to ask yourself is, is it you, or was it the marriage? That marriage might have ended anyways, maybe not as soon, but perhaps at some time. Perhaps it would have been a long struggle effecting the kids regardless.

Maybe it's you. Maybe over the years he has become infatuated, has had a crush, and when it wears off, he will realize his error; but for now, you are feeding it, allowing it to grow. I can't tell you whether or not it's true love or not. Only you can.

Those may be your kids some day...

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (26 January 2010):

Probably not, I know I wouldn't. Would you?

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A female reader, ImJustTrinity United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2010):

First of all Honey, breaking up a marriage like you did, takes two people. so you can't completely blame your fiance, although if it only took a weekend for him to decide that he was leaving his wife, there must have been something going wrong before you came along.

Children (who i'm assuming are quite young), won't understand the situation. they will believe what they're mum told them, which is that you stole him, and now he won't live with them anymore.

As they grow up they might learn to forgive you if the are quite young, teenagers tend to be harder. After all, they will have you as a step-mother. and step-mothers have a hard time without your situation.

You will just have to try and spend time with the children, and try and show them that you didn't steal him away, that you two are really in love, and love his children aswell. It won't be easy, but if you love him, you will be prepared to do anything.

I hope this helps Honey.

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