Will he consider me again if things don't work out with his wife?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello. I dated a man 3 years ago. We dated for right at 2 years. We went through the whole break-up, get together thing for about the last 4 months. I met him at a football game. I went down and got his number, we talked on the phone every single night until 2 in the morning. He is a great man, I still think so. He's had a really hard life. He wanted to get intimate and told me he loved me 2 months after we started dating. He said it was fine if I didn't want to, but he said he was ready when I was. I felt like I loved him and we did have intercourse. I thought it was too soon, but it really seemed to bring us closer. We opened up to each other much more. I was young though, and my mother flipped when she caught us. I thought that would tear us apart as well, but no, we both were very resilient. We would sneak out every night. My mother caught us one night and started yelling. He appologized and said it was all his fault, but that there was nothing she could do to keep us apart. Everytime I rode into his town (had to, I had alot of family there) he would find out from a friend who saw our car and he would walk, not joking, 8 miles to come and find me, and sometimes he wouldn't. Eventualy, my mom did in a way hold me hostage. She began to bring another guy, whom she thought I should be with instead, around all the time. Rumors began to fly that I was cheating. It got really hard. He began to believe the rumors and broke up with me one day. It was the first time we broke up. I truly thought it was over. The only person trying to make my life easier seemed like the man who my mom brought into the picture. He would leave when I told him to, and told me that he did have feelings for me, but would respect my love for the other man. When I got dumped, I got with him instead. It felt like I had no other option, really. I say this, but I know it was wrong. My ex texted me the next day appologizing for leaving me. He said we would work through it, and leave the rumors to just that, rumors. I had to tell him. So I did. I was with the other man. But, this was the man I really loved. The man I began dating left for marine training the next day, meaning he had no contact with anyone for the next 2 weeks. I dated my ex again, not wanting to turn down the opportunity. Eventualy, he said he couldn't do it anymore. He left me again and again. Whenever I was finaly able to contact the marine to leave him, the damage was already done. I had indeed two-timed. I felt terrible. Still do. But, we had a hard break-up. We resented each other, we cursed and gossiped about each other. Eventualy, I saw him at Dominoes one day. I went up and told him I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't pretend to hate someone I loved. We hugged and appologized but we remained seperate. We was dating another girl at this point, and I didn't want to interfere. The following week, my mom began to get violent with my sister. She called my ex for a ride. He picked her up and they went back into his town, where they ate dinner together. (It was a very trusted relationship, I had no problem with him having woman friends etc.) He told her that he planned to marry me one day, but it wasn't the right time yet. He said he knew he would one day, but we had to experience our lives first because we were both so young.

View related questions: broke up, my ex, text, violent

Reply to this Question

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, AskLadyJuJu  +, writes (24 October 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 October 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer