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female
age
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anonymous
writes: Why would a man , stop wanting sex suddenly with his wife?Is this true, when he says,he has no idea?What are the causes to this,and how common is that?I know man, who cant think of anything else,but sex Why is this happening?I feel humiliated,and unwanted. My husband ,does not look at me, and we have sex, he can't keep it up. Specially after foreplay...He is totally losing his erection. But it was so sudden,. I don't know what to think. Why is this happening?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (16 April 2011):
Hi there. The only way to find out for sure, is to talk to him about it.
We can only guess, without knowing the circumstances of your relationship.
Perhaps he is under some kind of stress - at work or some kind of financial stress. It's hard to know without asking him directly.
I really think that your best course of action is to have a chat with him and just ask him if anything is bothering him.
Say to him that it has happened so suddenly and without any warning, that you are concerned. Maybe it is a health problem.
In any case, being open and honest with him is really the only choice you have. Otherwise, you are only guessing, and that serves no purpose whatsoever.
There is no other way to find out why, without directly asking him.
When you do have this talk, be loving and respectful and let him be comfortable in telling you what's wrong in his life.
There has to be a simple explanation.
Good luck and best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): If your husband is honest, when he says he 'has no idea why' when asked; he should go and see his doctor as soon as possible. There are many medical reasons for loss of libido; hormonal, prostate problems. I don't want to be an alarmist, but brain tumours can affect sex drive. Depression is another major factor, and one that needs medical advice. So I would be getting him to his doctor ASAP.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Actually, the myth that men are constantly thinking of and are ready for sex is just that-a myth. Their sexual drive-like ours-can be tied to their emotions. If he's been under a lot of stress lately that could tie into it. If he's around your age range too, it could be due to a lower level of testosterone-it happens. Give him some time and affection, but don't force yourself on him and make him feel like less of a man when he can't perform. Be patient and if this continues, he should probably see a doctor-just to be safe. In the meanwhile, try and spice things up...Think back to some of the best intimacies you've had with him and try to recreate that. Think back to the sexy lingerie that made him crazy or a spontaneous moment in a naughty place or time...make him feel like a teenager again lol Best of luck
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 If your husband is roughly the same age as you (in your forties to early 50's) it is likely his decline in testosterone is effecting his ability to want sex.
With today's sedentary lifestyle, I think it is happening more and more to men at an early age.
I doubt it is you or specifically something that you've done, as it sounds like he is making some effort to be with you but either is losing his erection (and therefore his interest) or is just out of shape and can't perform his "duties".
I recommend that he get looked at by his doctor. If he doesn't already do so, he should start exercising and watching his diet. Exercise increases libido, testosterone, and helps with blood flow. Loss of libido / erection could be mild depression, heart disease or even diabetes. His doctor should also look into his hormonal levels.
Finally, you may want to up your "game" so to speak. Try on a new outfit or see if you can seduce your man. While I don't think this is the "issue", I do believe it can help in case it is simply a case of the bedroom "blahs"
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Has he started any medications? That can do it.
Any possibility of like a porn addiction?
I don't want to play Devil's advocate, but you say it's out of nowhere. Does he work 'late', is suspicious with the phone, started caring more about his appearance? That can indicate an affair, which could be the cause since he'd be getting it else where.
More information relating to these things could help us figure out why it's happening.
It could be a medical problem, so maybe you should ask him to see a doctor.
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