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Why was my sister friend so rude to me and why are women so mean to each other?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Friends with Benefits, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

A few months ago my younger sister ( who lives in another state) got married, smallish amount of people around 60, at the end of the night there were buses that took us from the venue to the car park in the town where we all had parked cars or we would catch taxi to hotels. I met 2 of sisters friends, and they were ok, polite and nice, one girl I didn't meet but saw her around at reception.

She was with her buddies and her husband, and my sister dancing and chatting. she made no effort to meet me, she knows my younger brother a little also.

At the end of the night when we all we got off the buses, we got off different buses, at the same time,(I don't drink,so I was not drunk, she wasnt either) we briefly made eye contact and I paused for a second and smiled a little, (as you do to be polite,) and then went to walk away with some others.

When she saw me she gave me the dirtiest "evil" look and looked me up and down as if I was a piece of garbage and wearing the wrong clothes, she then stared for about 2 seconds and left, I just kept walking.

She was not very nice but my sister and my brother think she is great. guess im not good enough..

why did she do this?im average looking, was told I looked ok on the night nothing special, she was striking looking, as she is known to be, and I was wearing ok clothe, slimmish build.

She is apparently a super fit woman of 33, super mother, great friend, great at her work, etc etc. To me she was a rude b*tch. I did nothing to her but politely smile.

why are women such nasty B*****s. and if I meet her again, how should I react? be polite and let her stare me down?? seriously she was so rude, am over it now but was just wondering

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2014):

this is the poster, nasty comments are not needed female anon poster!!!!

did I say I expected to be her friend? no, she is my sisters friend, but she was a nasty judgemental b@tch, looking me up and down like I was a peice of garbage, smirking at me like I was a bit of trash,I did nothing to her but smile politely, you have no right to judge me!!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 September 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Won't you give her the benifit of doubt ? .. she could be just a petty cow- or else, it could be just some silly misunderstanding. After all, you are talking about an exhange of looks of split seconds. It may be a case of reading each other's body language wrong, like , when you smiled politely at her, maybe she thought that YOU were laughing at her and her outfir !. Or, she expected you to approach her and felt snubbed. Or, she took you for someone else. It was a wedding, these things happen at weddings and other social gatherings, people are excited, distracted, confused, tired, their feet hurt in high heels :) etc.etc.

I am saying this because I just had something similar happening to me at a wedding not even a month ago.

I went to a friend's daughter wedding, and my friend arranged for me to sear next to her sister. Whom, I had met already and known already about 15 years ago. This lady ( the sister ) had come to visit in New York, where I and my friend were living, and in fact I had voluntereed to show her around , we had gone to dinner together several times, all in all we had been two peas in a pod. So, now, I start making conversation and tryng to catch up- and I get curt, short replies. I ask her about the business that she has set up, how is it going, and that I heard she moved , how did she decorate her new home.... Frosty, barely polite reception of my friendly " advances ": I am scratching my head, like " what's wrong with this woman ??? What came upon her ? " thinking of how many laughs we had shared way back then. Well, eventually it turns out that she did not catch my name, and had not recognized me, - then my hairstyle and colour had been all different- she had no idea who I was. She thought I was some nosy stranger , happened to sit beside her by chance, who for some reason wanted to know all about her personal business .

I realize it's not the same, but what I mean is , do not assume that NECESSARILY this woman was showing hostility ( what for, then ?? ) or disapproval or something negative toward YOU. It was an exchange of glances, it may be a misunderstanding , for all you know she had a frowny face because she had just fought with her husband or something .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014):

WOMEN are NOT nasty b*tches. This is based on ONE WOMAN giving you a "dirty look".

Maybe she really is a nasty person and your siblings who actually know her are completely wrong about her, or maybe you have made a snap judgment about her, never having spoken to her and having no idea what might have been going on in her life during those 2 seconds in which she looked you up and down. Apart from smiling at her briefly, it doesn't sound like you tried to get to know her either but expected her to want to get to know you.

Maybe you and your siblings are different and you get on with different people. I have 3 sisters and we all have very different friends. I've met some of them, I'm not friends with any of them, and I would never EXPECT them to try to get to know me.

You're not "over it" at all. It's been months and you're still thinking about these 2 seconds and letting them bother you. You didn't know her before the wedding, it sounds like she lives in another state, she has nothing to do with your life. Why do you care about this?

If you ever meet her again, you could put aside this little incident, introduce yourself and see if you have anything to talk to each other about.

But if you're still angry about her being rude to you, then don't bother.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 September 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI'm impressed that you can draw such specific and misanthropic conclusions (and expand them to "women", generally!) from just a brief look at you by someone (else) who you don't "know" and have never, previously, spoken to ......

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntWhy are some women like this? Because of their OWN insecurities.

And I agree with eyeswideopen, some people are just not very classy.

Could be she read your body language wrong or you read hers wrong who knows. I would just chalk this up to her being a petty cow, and that is who she is. Thankfully you don't have to socialize with her. Sounds like she was trying to be intimidating, who knows why?...

If you ever met her again, "kill" her with kindness.. People like that don't know how to handle that. But personally, I'd be polite but not make an effort with her.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 September 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntSome people have no class. I highly doubt your paths will cross again but if they do just be polite. Let her see what classy means.

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