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Why was all the porn my husband watched incest related? He says its just a coincidence

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, *osliw_nire writes:

I found my husbands browser history and all of the porn he had watched was incest porn, mostly step sister and step mom. He claims he didn't look at the titles. He just clicked on a few that looked good from the picture and waited to see which one loaded fastest. I can't believe that out of ten videos, all being incest related, that it was just a coincidence. He was sexually abused as a young child by step cousins. He's said in the past he was a sexual deviant, and that's why he likes sex and porn so much. I'm not sure what to believe.

View related questions: cousin, incest, porn

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 April 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it's a total coincidence either. It might be the "taboo" that turns him on more than ACTUAL incest.

If the porn doesn't involve kids but adults PRETENDING to be related I honestly don't think it's an indication that he want to explore incest in "real life" HOWEVER, giving his past abuse it CAN also be an indication that incest was somewhat "normalized" by his abuser which poses the question or concern If/WHEN you have kids. It might be like, "like I see it" suggest that it is a coping mechanism. One he might even be unaware of. But WATCHING incest porn might make what happened in the past less about the abuse.

I'd talk to him about it, your concerns and maybe even consider having him talk to a therapist. Normally, I would not think "fetish" porn is a bad thing or indicative of the person watching WANTING to DO these things outside of their head but with your husband's past abuse it DOES change the parameters I'd say.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2017):

On pornhub those videos pop up first for me, though I would rather not view incest. Must be a very common fantasy?? I watch them because they are there. I am totally not interested in the incest part but just fast forward to the hardcore scenes. I am interested in the flesh on display not the cheesy terrible set ups. Most of them are not realistic in any manner and you can tell its two pornstars anyway

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (21 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI would imagine it is just the fantasy that he is in to. Don't read to much in to it. I doubt it has anything to do with the abuse he suffered as a child and more what he prefers to watch.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (21 April 2017):

I wonder if this is similar to when you hear about men who were subjected to strapping or caning at school (years ago, obviously) who subsequently found that sort of thing turned them on during sex.

I doubt it was just "coincidence", as your husband claims. However, porn is just fantasy and the incest fantasy is obviously not that rare if there are so many films depicting it. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, you need to talk with your husband, or give him some privacy and stop checking his browser history?

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A female reader, Nosliw_nire United States +, writes (21 April 2017):

Nosliw_nire is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your answer, I've had the same ideas as you but somehow seeing them from someone else it makes more sense.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (21 April 2017):

like I see it agony auntIf it sounds like it can't be coincidence, that's because it probably isn't. It sounds as though perhaps your husband hasn't fully worked through the trauma of what happened to him as a child, and porn that normalizes or even fetishizes incest may be his way of coping with it.

If you can get him to seek professional counseling, that would be my suggestion. Go together if he's reluctant to see a therapist alone.

Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2017):

As long as the participants in the video is of age dont worry about it most of them arnt really related its just the title of the show ...not sure that his high sex drive is down to childhood abuse unless he gets off on the fact that he was 'abused' ..most people struggle with sex if they have been abused in life ..ask him to watch "normal porn" in future if it worries you

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