A
male
age
51-59,
*hadowars
writes:I met my Girlfirend over the internet she has been married for 7 years for the last 5 years her marriage has been dead and love has been replaced neglect and verbally abuse and other forms of abuse i would rather not say. We met 6 months ago 4 months ago we proclaimed our love for each other. I have been nothing but honest to her and have kept every promise i have ever made her. On New year she said she wanted a divorce and want to go see someone in Canada at with point he cried, then few hours later said he would kill himself, then that he would change and then that she needed him and in the 3 weeks since that happened nothing changed and he even install spy software on her pc without her knowning now he has seen all are talks. After seeing all that he went about his normal business for 2 weeks and then woke her in the middle of the night yelling and interogating her and making her cry this went on for 3 days. We are now on a break of sorts where she has asked for time so she can find out the status of her marriage this is the second break first time she called me in less then a week. But she tells everybody she knows that she wants to be with me and that she only loves me and wants to know how she can leave her husband. She sees that he controls and manipulates her but she so confused with why she can't just leave the marriage of someone she doesn't love or want. I have told her that i will be right here waiting for her no matter what happenes or how long it takes. I'm just so confused as to why she is finding it hard to leave a relationship where there is no love, intimacy and no respect and lots of head games and where she is lying every time she says she loves him. And come and continue a relationship that she is happy with and we always show our love and affection to each other and show respect to one another and there are not guilt trips or head games. Can you please help me understand this. And is the only thing i can do is just be here for if or when she finally gets the courage to leave him.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 You say they there are no "head games" in your relationship with her. Au contraire, mon frair (I hope you're French Canadian, LOL), but she could be playing you like a fiddle. She's telling you one thing, and probably telling her husband something else. You are at the horns of a dilemma and nothing you say or do is going to change the fact that she is still married.
You can be there for her, "If and when she finally gets the courage to leave him" (IF is the key word), or you can walk away now.
I'd get my walking shoes on. . . .
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Yep all you can do is sit and wait. This is what you get for messing around with a married woman. It always ends up with lots of pain all around. Tell her to contact you when she's filed for divorce and has left her husband. Until that day comes (if it comes)you leave her totally alone. Bear in mind that she may not have been as totally honest with you as you think.
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