A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 29 and I've been with my man for 11 years. We have a 10 year old son together, we've purchased a home together, cars together, and basically everythingtogether as if we are married, but we're not. Everytime I bring up marriage he says everything fine the way it is and I don't want marriage to change things. I tell him that our life will be the same it just that we'll be married, he also reminds me that we'll common law married. None of what he's saying matters to me. I want to be married, and I want to be married to him. I love him and I don't want I'll life together to fade, but I told him if we'll not married by the end of this year, he'll have to leave. Am I making the right decision? Give me your input. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 April 2010):
 I think you're doing okay. Marriage is obviously very important to you, and after all this time you have proven that you are a wonderful woman and mother. He has no real objections and he's just being hard headed. If marriage is what you really need, I say stand up for it.
Good luck, and please keep us posted!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): The modern American man can either use his common sense or he can get married. But it has become pretty tough for us to reconcile both of these things anymore. The system has becomet too rigged against us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): You don't want to force someone into something they don't want to do especially someone you love you don't to force him to merry you and he is miserable
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): dont give an ultimatum unless you are prepared to follow thru. I understand the wanting to be married, but i think you started this game with a certain set of rules and now you want to change them. I hope you get that to work as i am a fan of marriage, but its iffy. Good luck, mal
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 If you think this will be an effective way of getting him to marry you, I have to disagree with you. Its risky and may not work. Also, is that really how you want to get married? With threats of leaving someone? Him feeling pressured and forced?If you want to be married above anything, and are prepared to search for someone else, and be alone for a while, and if you are truly unhappy with the way things are, then go ahead with your plan. But, make sure you spend some time imagining how it will be to be alone again, and make sure you won't miss him so much that you cave and just try to get him back after making him leave. Also, think about how you'll feel when he finds someone else, and what it will do to your son. My husband's parents have been together for 37 years and never married. They joke about being "free" :-) But, they aren't insecure, no one is leaving anyone, and they are happy. Just so you know... it is possible.
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A
female
reader, help heros  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 you seem to have a happy life without being married you seem to have everything you want. i know a girl dream is to get married and you will one day. but by telling him if he dosnt mary you by the end of this year he has to leave why let this break yous up at the end of the day you seem happy together but that day will come for you. you just need to be patient i know a person who was with her husband for 35 year before they tired the knot. try n talk to him about it and explain that you love him and the only dream you have left to fill is to marry the man of your dreams which is him then if he still isnt going go ahead with it then just ask him why he wont if he is happy living with you then why wont he marry you ask him he can only tell you the truth x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Since you didn't tell him you wouldn't have a child with him until you were married, or that you wouldn't buy a house with him until you were married, or that you wouldn't buy a car with him until you were married, then why does it matter so much to you now? Did he ever promise to marry you?
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