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female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and me are both 15. She said she got her girl thing at 12 but she wants to go to planned parenthood to get looked at. Even her East Orthodox mama said no since she's a virgin and doesn't have to. I'm Pentecostal and I agree with her mama. Even though I don't like her. Her mama I mean. I want to at least do oral with her just to see what it is like. But that does that mean my girlfriend is lying about being a virgin if she wants to go to planned parenthood first? Don't get mad, just help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 So I am guessing from your update you are in fact a guy? Look my guess is that your girlfriend might have some questions she wants answered. She might have a kidney infection or a Urinary infection. Or she may want to ask some private questions. I think it is no harm if she wants to go here. I don't think it means she has cheated on you or anything. You have came here for advice at a young age and a few have judged you. I am sure at your age you are curious and you don't want to use proper terminology which is perfectly okay. I honestly think she should go if she wants, there is obviously something on her mind, therefore why not suggest that you go with her?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 OP I apologize for not realizing you were a female also. My mistake. in that case pregnancy is not an issue but the rest still stands.
you can say ANYTHING here. it's a great site.
Planned Parenthood does provide STD testing and abortions if needed but they also provide well woman visits and UTI care (urinary tract infections which can be very common in young women)
here is a link to their site.. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/who-we-are/planned-parenthood-at-a-glance
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Oh you mean her menstruation?
Look, you're allowed to use the proper word for the proper thing in here, saying things like menstruation, or vagina, or penis, are not bad words. They're the clinically correct terminology, and if we're going to talk about menstruation and getting your privates checked out by a doctor, we need to use the correct words.
The people around you sound uninformed. There can be any number of reasons why your girlfriend wants to get checked out, could be she is insure if she is normal looking, maybe she's got a concern about something, maybe her menstruation isn't steady or maybe it's missing, there could be any number of reasons she wants to talk to a doctor about sexual health. Maybe she just has questions, because it sounds like you both are lacking in sexual education, and that the adults you are surrounded by believe that never talking about sex somehow means you kids wont have it. Which is delusional. Maybe your girlfriend just wants to get free condoms. Maybe she has an itch. Maybe she developed a condition that she actually needs a gynecologist to take a look at, but doesn't know how to get to one other than go to Planned Parenthood.
Getting checked out is NOT only for those who have had sex. Not every problem with your vagina or penis or vulva or menstruation etc is connected with STI's or having had sex. That would be the same as claiming that only people who use a computer would need glasses, as if all eyes have perfect vision except for those who work on computers... Yes, working on a computer can strain your eyes, but honey, your eyesight can be poor because you were born that way too. Your girlfriend could have vaginismus, for all you know, or irregular menstruation, or a wart, or a birth defect, or yeast infection, or urinary tract infection, or it could be she is just concerned about being normal down there, like most teenagers are.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (22 November 2016):
She got her "girl thing"? I don't know what this means. Can you explain what her "girl thing" is that she got at 12?
No, going to get checked is something that is responsible and a good thing to do. It does not mean you are lying about being a virgin. I think you should support your girlfriend and not suggest she is lying, because that is very immature of you and means you are a bad girlfriend.
Being in a relationship means you TRUST your partner. The moment you stop trusting your partner, you can just as well end the relationship, because it's just a fake relationship without trust. Either trust her and support her, or find a new girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (22 November 2016):
She got her "girl thing"? I don't know what this means. Can you explain what her "girl thing" is that she got at 12?
No, going to get checked is something that is responsible and a good thing to do. It does not mean you are lying about being a virgin. I think you should support your girlfriend and not suggest she is lying, because that is very immature of you and means you are a bad girlfriend.
Being in a relationship means you TRUST your partner. The moment you stop trusting your partner, you can just as well end the relationship, because it's just a fake relationship without trust. Either trust her and support her, or find a new girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2016): Sorry, I can type OK when I'm using the text box but when I try to use the sex/age boxes it gets weird. My phone screen does that weird rainbow/black thing when I push on it. And I said girl thing because I didn't know what I was allowed to say.I guess it makes sense she wants to get looked at but I thought planned parenthood was an abortion clinic? That's all I was told it was. No, our parents don't approve of sex or dating and they think we're just friends and only go in groups. Our friends have to cover for us just so we can get dates and I obviously can't take her out or buy her anything. So yeah.Oh. She said she told her mama she wanted to get looked at like she would a dentist only down there (I don't know what I'm allowed to say here) and her mama said no. She said she heard all girls should go like one of you did. Her mama said that was a lie. She didn't tell her planned parenthood.I'm worried about her virginity since if she's a virgin why would she go? If they do stuff like just look at her or all that why would she not be OK if she's a virgin? Her mama is the kind who doesn't like her going to ANY doctor unless it's serious and she believes it's all how you eat and taking vitamins. I do think it's a Greek Orthodox thing but she told her last year she was depressed since she ate too much bread.My parents are like that but for them it's mostly prayer and I've seen lots of people get healed. I just get nervous because I don't want them to know mine don't work.But thank you. I looked up what planned parenthood does but I still don't understand STD testing if she's a virgin. If we can get her there I guess it makes since
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (22 November 2016):
 It seems to me that the most likely reason is that she wants To get as much information as she can before she gets involved sexually. She may not be as ready as you think she is. Perhaps she wants to get a hpv vaccine before having oral. perhaps she wants to talk about safe sex and healthy relationships with a trusted adult before getting more involved. Or perhaps she is just stalling.
There are a lot of reasons other than lying about her virginity. The real question in my mind is why are you so interested in her virginity. Would you treat her differently if she wasn't a virgin?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 November 2016):
 As a 16-17 year old female yourself, you should consider starting routine gynecologist visits as well. You're a virgin as well and could use some personal safe sax counseling, discussion of the HPV vaccine, and basically a wellness check.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 November 2016):
I started seeing the gynecologist at age 12. I was a virgin.
Once a young lady starts her menses (her 'girl thing') then it's perfectly appropriate to see a doctor for check ups. She may have heavy periods that she is worried about or severe cramps or PMDS or PMS both of which can be treated by a doctor. That's what she can get at planned parenthood.
In addition if her mother disapproves, then going to PP is a good idea as they will not charge her or tell her parents.
BTW doing ORAL is still SEX it's called ORAL SEX.
She sounds like a very smart young lady... often ORAL sex leads to penetrative sex which if she is not protected by birth control leads to pregnancy.
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