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Why didn't my b/f introduce me to his friend?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 June 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I went to the beach and we were having a nice time until we were walking out of the water and he saw an old friend. He walked over to his friend and embraced him and I was walking over thinking he'd introduce me. He then grabbed his friend and walked away from me. I just stood there awkwardly for a second not knowing what to do.

He spent a good 15 minutes talking to this guy while I was sort of walking around by myself. He never even glanced in my direction. When he was done he walked over to where I was. I could tell he knew he did wrong because he acted kind of sheepish and guilty.

So why did he do it then? I didn't say anything about it because I was on the verge of tears. I will bring it up because it's still bothering me but I'd love some opinions.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013):

Thank you for all your answers. I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow. Perhaps I should have mentioned that when he came back to me I asked who his friend was and he told me they had served in Iraq together and hadn't seen each other in many years. They were obviously very surprised and happy to see each other there. I'm not concerned about anything sinister. I just don't get it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013):

It is obviously someone unsavory from his past. He doesn't want you mixed up with this guy. It sounds like they have a

relationship you best not be aware of. That isn't a very good sign.

He may also know the guy to be a loser, but had to acknowledge him; because of past associations. Maybe he is trying to avoid people he once knew that he no longer wishes to be involved with. That could mean drugs or he owes someone money.

I suggest you do inquire what this is all about. You don't need to be blind-sided; if this is something that could bring you any harm or legal trouble.

It is never a good sign when a girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't acknowledge your relationship to people they know.

Maybe he is seeing someone on the side, and didn't want his friend to know about you.

You can only speculate the worse unless he tells you the truth. Considering the suspicious nature of the event.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013):

What ur saying about his work friends all knowing... I was with a man for a year, everyone at our work knew and that was ok but no one else could know... 4 months later I found out that was because he had a girlfriend of 2 years and I was the mistress.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (24 June 2013):

mystiquek agony auntI'm afraid the only way you're going to get to the bottom of this mystery is to come right out and ask him. There is no way that any of us could know. Watch his body language closely and see if that gives off any clues if he is being honest with you. I do find it very strange behavior, that's for sure!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 June 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntMaybe his old 'friend' is really his drug dealer and he doesn't want you to know? Maybe he owes his old friend a lot of money and he doesn't want you to find out about that? Maybe he's married and doesn't want his old friend to know he has a girlfriend too?

You're going to have to ask him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013):

We've been together just four months. I haven't met any of his friends yet but he hasn't met mine either. We work together and he doesn't seem to mind his friends at work knowing about us. He pursued me and he is otherwise very attentive and affectionate.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 June 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntDefinitely ask him. How long have you been dating? Have you met ANY of his friends or family?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 June 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI cannot think of a single GOOD reason for this.

ask him and let us know what his "excuse" was.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 June 2013):

aunt honesty agony auntReally it is impossible to tell why he would have done this, I think your best bet is to talk to him tell him exactly how he made you feel and ask for answers. Don't back down until you are satisfied with what he has to say for himself. Good luck.

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