A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months, and have had sex 3 times.The first time was the day after he tried blow. The second time I asked him if there was anything I can do, if there was something wrong, etc. He said he didn't know, and that everything was fine.The third time was the most recent, and we didn't use a condom, in hopes of him being able to reach an orgasm (I suspect that is why he didn't gear up, he didn't say)He has never been able to finish, and I am concerned. I am a younger mother, and am a tiny bit insecure with my body, and am fearful it is me. But I've never had this problem, even after baby.I would really love to please him, but am not sure how. Especially now I feel a little uncomfortable. I am thinking oral sex as foreplay would help.Any other suggestions?
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female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (20 October 2008):
 I believe the first time that he had tried blow, Im assuming you are referring to cocaine, was probably the problem. Many different drugs have these kinds of effects.
I would say that this has probably more to do with him than it has something to do with you. What does he mean everything is fine? Does he have any stress in his life that could be causing this? I think the best thing to do is try to keep this conversation open and try to be comforting. Try not to say things like "Whats wrong with you?" but more like whats going on with you? Try to get him to open up. If not, you could always try, try again. It's only been 3 times, 2 times not on drugs.
Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, penguin64  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 why are you going on about drugs? is that what you mean by blow? :S
my boyfriend had that same problem and i just asked him about it. And he said he's been like it with everyone. most of the time he finishes but some times he doesnt and like you i thought it was me. He said it was like some blokes cant get it up...he just finds it hard to finish but apparently at the start of sex he feels like he's gonna come after 10 minutes but stops it because he doesnt want to dissapoint. So maybe its something like that. but yeah try and build him up to it by oral then when you have sex it might happen quicker.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): I don't know if cannabis is the cause of the problem, but I suppose it could be. If it is, he must have used a lot of it in the past and now he's ruined his sex life.
There won't be a thing wrong with you, I can assure you of that. If it bothers him, suggest he sees a professional. It could be psychological, but drug use certainly won't help matters.
Do you really want to bring your child up in the same environment as a drug user? You're crazy if you do.
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A
female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (20 October 2008):
 First and foremost you can only intise him to have an orgasm, the actual orgasm come from him. You cannot make him have a orgasm only he can do that for hisself. Furthermore, if he's using blow that's most likely why he cant get off. Most guys don't even get an erection (stay soft) when they're high on blow.
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