A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I need some perspective on my relationship.I want to know if it is expected that after 10 years should romance fade? Should I still be feeling lovey dovey or should I just be feeling bland and monotonous? Should I still be excited? Does Facebook / TV glamourise relationships to make them seem like teen romances more than what actually happens when you are older?I've been dating my partner for 10 years and I'm not feeling much of a spark anymore. I love him, but I'm not excited by him. I somewhat feel our values have changed a lot and we don't find the same things as valuable as before. He prefers to sit in the house and play games / watch TV and I want to go on dates / go to pubs / go for a walk / visit new places etc. So I feel a bit bored. I don't feel we spend any real quality time together as he just wants to play games.I've previously wanted to marry him and he's told me he intended to ask me, but would surprise me. But its been years since then and he just scofs at it now. Now I am feeling like he doesn't intend to at all and I'm not sure I want to either now as I don't know if my relationship is too bland.I see everyone on Facebook and couples on holiday all acting lovey dovey and i dont know if its just me.. I never get that with him now.Is it to be expected that it would die after all these years? Am I supposed to just love him generally now and accept I won't have major romance? I'm not sure if there is something wrong with my relationship or if this is the natural way things go? Does TV/Facebook just glamourise relationships?
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male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (8 July 2017):
 The one that finds the secret to everlasting love will become the richest person on earth, experts say the Lovey Dovey stage lasts only on av 3 months, they might be right but I don't agree if they are right you got more out of it that most,
While I feel I am more in love today than 5 years ago and then was better than 10 years before but I don't look into it in big detail and am happy where we are, we have changed maybe we are lucky that we have changed in the right direction and not in the way, we can't make our self like someone, and if you look at it like as you live your life you make friends and most friends you keep only for a short time, The Facebook thing is nothing to go on most of what you see on there are people trying to convince themselves they are happy so they can go on living their lie,
We all have need's to be filled by the person in order to fall in love if you lover filled enough of your boxs or not at the start it is only you know that or if that person still has what you then saw in him or her
A
male
reader, rasblak  +, writes (7 July 2017):
So, here's an angle to consider:
i) in case you kept trying but never could find a fulfilling relationship, do you already know that you are making the best use you can of your time on this Earth to be as happy as you can be on your own?
ii) in your efforts to be as happy as you can be, does your current partner add any value, or on the contrary, does his presence and attitude/preferences hamper your personal growth?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2017): Hello, Dear reader! I'm known as WiseOwlE.[WiseOwlE, send a PM to Tisha-1 using a temporary account please.]
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 July 2017):
 I think if you are unhappy there is ONLY one person to discuss this with and that is your partner. I completely agree with N91.
What people (OTHER PEOPLE) post on Facebook is absolutely irrelevant. That is their life (or a rather representation of their life they want others to see - so a pretty faceade)
If you feel like the spark is gone, then decide DO I want to try and reignite it... OR am I done. Doing nothing about it changes NOTHING.
He might be playing all these games because he too is bored and the outlet gives him an escape to combat the tedium.
As far as how "lovey dovey" people at ANY stage of a relationship, well that isn't set in stone, that all comes down to the couple.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 July 2017):
 Have you told him?
If you're just thinking this in your head and you haven't told him how are you expecting him to know you're unhappy? I doubt he's a mind reader.
As far as he's concerned you're perfectly happy with he situation that you're in so why would he change it?
Your options are that you tell him you're unhappy and give him a chance to change things or you break up and leave and find someone who fulfills your needs.
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