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male
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anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my GF for a year a a few months, i think she's great and we have alot in common.I found out recently that she doesn't like roller coasters (although she has only been on one). The problem is i absolutely love roller coasters, kind of a adrenaline junkie. With living in the UK, i've been to florida with my parents 5 times, one of the main reasons for going was for the rollercoasters.I loved it there it was the happiest time of my life so far.Now i want to go again with my GF, but my GF doesn't want to go because she is scared of the roller coasters.Im not sure what to do, do i break up with her over a little thing like that.Do i not go to Florida again and cut roller coasters out of my life.Do i try and get some kind of therapy for her.Help. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): If you decide to dump her over a rollercoaster then i think that you are the one who needs the therapy love. Don't be so bloody childish!! Go to god damn florida and enjoy your rollercoasters, you aint joined at the hip so why should she have to go on them with you?!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Is there really nothing more to your life than rollercoasters?!
If you don't like her anymore, and you've tried to make things work you can dump her. If she cheated, you can dump her. If there is any real emotion that has made you and her unhappy, then you can dump her.
Of course you CAN dump her for any reason, but for a rollercoaster?!
Why don't you take her to Florida, and go on them, without her?! Or why don't you try and help her get over her phobia. Obviously respect her decision.
Read other peoples suggestions. You can do lots of things together. Obviously, again, you have a strong passion for roller-coasters, and you don't have to choose one thing over the other. You can blend them in.
BTW, if you do dump her over that, you really need to think about how mature you are for your age, and whether you are ready for a serious relationship.
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female
reader, Katrien  +, writes (29 June 2008):
I kinda understand what you mean...
You have a passion and you want someone to share it with you. Sit next to you, hold your hand, scream down the scarey bits. And when you stop, look at and say "Wow, that was awesome, lets do it again!"
But life is not like that.
In my relationships, I have never found anybody who feel about the stuff that I like the same as I do! But they have always brought their own stuff that is interesting. And we have shared a bit, but sometimes we went off on our own, and then when we get back together, we could talk about how much fun we had and it enfused the relationship.
Eg I am quite quiet and bookish, met a guy who was totally into off-road biking. Seemingly mismatched. But we went camping together and I would stay at the tent and read, while he would go race his heart out over the mountains. Then when he got back and got whatever it is out of his system, we would go for a peaceful cruise on the bike down a sedate path through the woods. And I did enjoy that, and he enjoyed taking me. But I would not race and wheelie and slide and jump!
Maturity lets you celebrate differences.
But if you didnt like her due to something unrelated to roller coasters, then leave her, but dont blame her dislike of roller coasters...
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female
reader, sofiamorgan + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 Ok dumping her over her dislike of roller coasters is just really pathetic - I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh. Why can't she wait for you whilst you go on them and vice versa..?
If you are really going to break up with her over this then I'm sure that she will be please to be rid of someone who is seemingly small minded...again I apoligise if I'm being harsh.
I hope it all works out for the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): That is a TINY little difference between you two.Just because she doesn't like rollicoasters doesn't mean you have to break up with her.She doesn't have to go,you know,
but if she wants to,then ask her what she would want to do
while you're riding rollicoasters so she'll too have fun,
and she'll know that you have considered her feelings too.
And haven't you heard that OPPOSITES ATTRACT!?
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Its kinda like saying....Maybe I should dump my girlfriend because I like heavy metal music and she hates it and prefers classical music.
Hun!!! Seriously!!!! Is it really a BIG DEAL???? Maybe she doesn't like getting thrown about and scared half to death.
Love her because of who she is and not what she likes or dislikes. I think you have showed yourself up as a shallow selfish person, grow up for God sake.
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female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 Help Call the RSPCA (UK animal welfare) it's the quiet one's you should be carefull off, because there's a devil lurking inside.
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male
reader, troubledtoomuch  + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 DiovanLestat said "Just trying to understand and love her should take the rest of your life."
Understanding a woman would take much longer than a lifetime. Oh poop, she's going to whip me with her rope now. :))
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female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
Yep, BigSis, not to mention the dips, and slips, and side-to-sides that happens as a by-product of any friction they will probably make.
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female
reader, Miss sunshine  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 You should definetely NOT break up with her over a stupid thing like that. She doesnt like roller coasters SO WHAT? I love ballet but my boyfriend cant ballet like i do, Should i break up with him? NO! You go on your relationship with her and everybody can have the activities they like. You can go to florida with her, only she wont join you in the ride. It is so simple. No therapy or anything is necessary. There are plenty of girls that dont like roller coasters (although i dont get it cause roller coasters ROCK!!)
Anyway, just keep your relationship with both of them (her and roller coasters)You just wont get to go in rides together. Whats the big deal? If you love her and she loves you she can wait while you are in a ride , trying to get the adrenaline to hit red!!
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female
reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 Nothing like nice continuous up, down, up, down, round and around, and, with the odd bump here and the odd bump there, here a bump, there a bump, everywhere a bump~bump. eh, Troubled? you ol' big dipper you.
: )
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female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
Oh yes, thanks troubletoomuch, there is also that. Can't you find a way to reach a compomise between this timid person and your more adventurous self. There are plenty of adventures to discover in the quiet routine of life. Just trying to understand and love her should take the rest of your life.
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female
reader, M! +, writes (29 June 2008):
 haha thats a bit over the top to dump her over rollar coasters. and not to add, a bit mean too. if she doesnt like them, then she doesnt like them. and not to be rude but you sound a little over dramatic. "Do i not go to Florida again and cut roller coasters out of my life?" you can still enjoy rollar coasters as long as you want. and she can hate them as long as she wants. you've been with her for a year and few months and want to break up with her for something she's scared of? she's got herself a keeper. (sarcastic)
just respect her feelings, like she respects yours. and you'll both be happy.
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male
reader, troubledtoomuch + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
NO, you shouldn't break up with her. There are a lot more things more important than roller coasters in a relationship. I used to love roller coasters too. My new girlfriend got sick on them. In fact she gets sick on most park rides. I haven't been on a roller coaster for the 29 years that we have been together. Let me tell you something. She gives me more excitement in bed that any roller coaster ever gave me.
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female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Oh my God, she doesn't like rollercoasters?!
What's WRONG with this girl, clearly you've been extremely self-sacrificing in staying with her when she has such a serious problem...
Okay, now that I'm done laughing and making a fool of you.
Are you actually willing to break up with your girlfriend just because she has a thing against roller coasters? That's really petty.
Are you sure you're just not looking for a reason to dump her?
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female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
I must be tired... sentance should read, "a cup of tea, and a good book is much more civilized than that dangerous lifestlye you seek"
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female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
I think I can see what you mean Mr anonymous. Your a self-confessed "adrenaline junkie", I suppose this means that your also adventurous, love to try new things and embraces if not actively chases change. You have noticed that this woman's personality is different to yours. Your now wondering if you may be compatiable or will your different outlooks in life eventually cause the end of your relationship. Personally these things are important to me. I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole, much prefer a good cup of tea and a good back myself. But you know what they say, opposites can sometimes attract, and your differences may just make your relationship stronger. It's 18months, well usually make or break time. Could you give her a couple of more months before you make your decision either way.
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reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
Please don't think I'm being flippant ~ but may I ask how old you are?
That's like a guy who loves spiders and breaks up with his girlfriend purely because she's afraid of them. I wonder how you would go about breaking the news to her.
You said yourself... should you break up with her over a silly thing like that? If it's that silly, then why ruin your relationship with a girl you think is great and have a lot in common with.
I'm sure there are other things she can be getting on with while you're flying all over the place on those things. You'll be the laughing stock of all her contacts if you finished with her for that reason.
Just go with her and enjoy the ride, and tell her that while she's down there watching you ~ she can be filming you getting your rush. How does that sound?
Have fun ~ hun.
BigSis
xXx
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female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
Hahahahaha, seriously?
There is jsut a bit more to do in Florida than roller coasters. Why can't she hold your bag while you rollercoast and then you can hold her bag while she swims with dolphins / whatever.
To be honest though, if you are that petty that you would break up with her over this, then you would be doing her a favour. I'm sure she wants to be with a decent man who isn't as small minded.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 June 2008):
 absolutely dump her, with such conflicting values, how could it last? She needs some serious help, maybe even an intervention. These type of phobias can leave a person a dysfuntional, emotional cripple if left untreated. If she thinks you are crazy, just know that she is projecting as a self defense mechanism. These types are often resistant to treatment voluntarily and may try to turn things around on you, be careful.
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Dump her over roller coasters? no offence but its really really really petty
If she doesnt like them and you love them i bet shes willing to wait while you have you fun or even give it a try if you love it as much as you say
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