A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went out of town for a trip of 5 days. My bf has a key of my place and I left a key to my best friend also. My bf doesn't live with me. Last night my bf called me and said that he wanted to come see my cat and the door was unlocked and he came in to the room and saw my friend sleeping in my bed and she was not alone, according to him there was a man there and he left. I told my friend today what happened and she assured that she was alone and she did not sleep in my room. She did sleep on a couch in the living room. He even told me she was in pajamas. She said she slept on black shorts and t shirt .. At this point I am feeling very uncomfortable. I had previous issues with my bf due him lying to me on my face about important and silly things. The other side my gf is gay and he doesn't know she actually has a girlfriend not a boyfriend. What is his purpose? Should I confront both when I come back?
View related questions:
best friend, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 Your boyfriend is a con man and this is just another trick.
Breaking up with you makes all this go away quickly and quietly, or threatening to break up gets you to focus on how he feels instead of what he does.
I told you before, known liars aren't entitled to the benefit of the doubt. That's something we reserve for those who haven't been caught doing the wrong thing.
Let him go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): Update. I am the OP. I met up with both. I asked what was going on while I was away. They both kept their own versions. But he said I don't want you to fight with your friend and I don't have a reason to create a fake storie So according to everything I am the liar ok so I am and he left. Later he called me and said to me he did not lie and he wants us to break up since I didn't trust on his word and I did not considered he is my bf and I should give him credit of his words instead of doubt about it. I don't know. I just don't know what to do now.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (2 September 2016):
He lied.
He was hoping you would quietly start distancing yourself from this friend and that any fallout would stay between you and her, but he's been put in the spot light. Now your friend knows he's a liar. He overplayed his hand and now he just wants all this to go away quietly.
He hasn't changed. He's a liar and he's nearly cost you a friendship.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 September 2016):
 If your boyfriend is known for lying well then it more than likely is him. The sad thing is you may never be able to fully trust him if he is lying all the time. I would ask yourself is this what you want in life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2016): Update. I told him that I spoke with my gf and told everything that he saw her in my bed with a guy and she was wearing pajamas. He then told me, how did you do that? This is not nice.. I said what is not nice? To tell her you saw her with company? Then he said ok sweetie don't worry , have a good night.. Then he called me again later on to say I love you and good bye and he acted like nothing happened..
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (1 September 2016):
I agree. Both have a reason to lie, but since your boyfriend has earned himself a reputation for lying, I would take anything he says with a grain of salt.
If he is, and I wouldn't put it past him, his motive is as old as the human race. He wants to discredit/remove those he considers a threat to his place in your life, and to win back your trust by showing you he 'has your back'.
Why would he make a point of telling you what she was wearing? Had you asked your boyfriend to check in on your cat while you were away?
You know, the more I think about this the more his story sounds like a load of bologna. Were it me, I'd be tempted to tell him my friend admitted he was telling the truth just to measure his reaction. If he looks surprised I'd know he made it up. It's probably best you don't. Don't give this any more attention than it deserves.
I don't see the point in confronting anyone. You've raised the issue and they're both aware of it. Feel free to be honest about not believing your boyfriend. Known liars aren't entitled to the benefit of the doubt.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 September 2016):
 He said, she said.. this one is tough. Because they BOTH could have reasons to lie to you.
Her, for meeting up with someone and having sex at your place..
Him, to paint her in a bad light.
What you could do is invite then BOTH over for dinner and ask what is going on with all these stories, that you don't know what to believe. They might NOT be so willing to lie to you in front of each other AND you.
Or...you can CHOOSE WHOM you give a key to you place while you are gone.
To me it seems weird that your friend would go crash at your place like that.. But it also seems odd that your BF would lie...
...............................
|
