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What is a vagina suppose to look like?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2009)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I just turned 18, and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. Recently we have began to get really touchy and and intimate, but I haven't had sex im still a vigin and so is he. I've never seen his "penis" and he's never seen my "vagina" nor has he felt it, just on the outside of my pants.

My concern here is that ever since we started becoming more intimate, I've been wondering what it looks like, so I tried looking at porn. I've never seen porn in my life and I've never seen another girls vagina or a guys penis before. I know, I've been living under a rock. Just that my parents are very strict, and control every channel in the house as on the ineternet, and well I wasn't very intrested in looking at other girls, maybe guys but I haven't. But last night I slept over at my friends house and on my way to the bathroom her brother had his door open and was watching porn. My very first porn encounter.

As I walked by I took a look, and then had to double look, I was kinda shocked, or scared. You see, all these girls vaginas on this porn looked different than mine. So now im scared, as im sure my bf has more of an idea what its supposed to look like cause I know he's watched more porn that I have ever. Now im worried that if he sees my vagina it won't look like what he had in mind.

Their vagina was thin and u could see everything out there as they spread their legs, as to mine, I hope its normal, but everything is inside and in place as I think that's the way its suppose to be, and not very thin around but thick, and if I spread my legs u can't see much inside only if I were to open it I guess. Im thinking this happens as u have sex and more sex, but im just curious I guess.

I know this might be silly, but im not the type of girl who has these conversation with my parents nor my mom, as I wish I did. We don't have an open relationship, so sex talks aren't covered at the dinner table. I now turn to ur help, anything will help. Thank you.

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A female reader, charlieq83 United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2009):

thank you sooo much i have just turned 16 and i thought i wasnt normal either, i thought there was somthing wrong with mine too. that description you just gave was exactly like mine, so dont worry.

anyway it is just because your body hasnt fully developed yet and in time it will look like other womens.

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A female reader, VeryConfusedSpeaking United States +, writes (23 October 2008):

VeryConfusedSpeaking agony auntI understand what your going through or went through.. im sorta of having that same problem but even though i read all of this... im still nervous as can be :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008):

ive seen the girls in those porn films and truly it makes me wonder how they dont leak all the time yukkk mine like yours has little to see and i know from readers wives in magazines that the real every day kinda girl every one is so different mines a bit longer on one side than the other bey hey i learned to love it and i never had a negative comment yet i wont tell u how many partners i had (too many) i am sure your bf is equally aprehensive as to what you think of him and will be concentrating on your reaction to him as well just relax and enjoy the feelings dont worry about the graphics :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008):

Dear Poster

You have received great advice from all the uncles and aunts.

Herwith a link that is loaded with information that might be of great interest to you:

http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=13&compID=37

Best wishes and lots of SMILES.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008):

Yeah, comparing porno to real bodies and sex is like comparing anything else to how it looks in the media.

The media packs everything full of impossibly flawless people. They're all confident and seemingly expert at everything they do. And the whole thing also looks cleaner and demands much less responsibility, etc.

Men aren't into the appearance of vaginas. Cleanliness is important (infections, too much bad odors, etc) but not the looks of it.

You probably fantasize about guys themselves, maybe even their bodies. But you probably don't fantasize about the specifics of their actual penises very much, do you? Sort of like th same thing with men and vaginas. We certainly want it to be there, but the appearance isn't a big deal.

About your BF:

Your BF's penis will probably be something like 5 or 6 inches long on average when it's hard. (And a teenage girl will probably not see very much of her BF's penis when it's soft!) It's not like the giant sausages in porno.

It's the same issue as women's oversized boobs in the media. Porno dudes get hired partly just for being above average down there. Seeing all those giant dicks in porno can sometimes make normal guys feel a little insecure about it.

Your BF can influence whether his penis is hard or soft with thoughts or touching, but it's not really directly in his control. Sort of like a woman's vagina getting moist when she's excited.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008):

I know you and your parents don't talk about these things, but if you look on this board you will see people get worried about all kinds of things, and that is normal too. Don't ever feel ashamed of not knowing things, don't ever feel ashamed of asking questions. You can ask anything you like, if you don't ask, how will you learn. Take care. Blessings

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone. Really helps my discomfort about it. I am normal after all =). I was just concerned, well worried too. I just never really talked about this to anyone. So now I know better, and I also leanred not to go to porn for any advice, only for ideas lol. Thank you all.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (23 August 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntThe men have handled this question admirably. I just want to reinforce that you shouldn't use porn as a teaching guide. It's designed to be fantasy, not an educational tool. It's like those romance novels that create fantasies of what the perfect relationship is like; it'd designed to be sold. The visual porn is designed to be sold to the men, the romance novels are designed to be sold to the women, as a rule.

Here's a weblink for some basic stuff I'm sure you know already, but a refresher couldn't hurt.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/teens/guide-teens-families-4318.htm

You could take a mirror and a light and have a good long look at yourself. I know that may sound ooky or weird, but if you know what you look like and how you're built, it'll help you with your future sex life and also possibly with your health. Don't forget to lock the bedroom door!!!

And I fully agree with the men. Relax, you sound 100% normal and you'll be very attractive to him, I have no doubt. You don't have to behave or look like a porn star to be beautiful; in fact you being you and comfortable in your own body will be so much more attractive, I know he'll think you're the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen.

Good luck!

P.S. The obligatory nag by me: safe sex!

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (23 August 2008):

Danielepew agony auntMy praise to Double M for his answer. No one could say it better.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (23 August 2008):

DoubleM agony auntFirst of all, few will ever actually see your vagina except a gynecologist or two, if and when your are medically examined. Your vagina is the canal through which you will someday experience penetration by your man's fingers and penis, and from which you may birth children. During sexual activities, only the vagina's opening is typically visible, if at all, and rarely does a man really focus on it's appearance. Women's vaginal openings pretty much all look alike, although some may look more gapping.

But you are really talking about the look of your "vulva" or genitals, which are essentially the visible part of your sexual apparatus. The common reference is "pussy." These vary greatly in outward appearance, and like most every man on the planet, I could not care less what it looks like. Technically, your genitals, when exposed, include the mons pubis (mound), the clitoris and it's hood, urethra (pee hole), two sets of labia (lips) and less accurately, the vaginal opening. There are a few other parts, but that's most of the possibly visible parts, and the main point is that no man is going to spend any time analyzing the appearance here. All they will want to do is either stick their penis through the opening or, if you are fortunate, lick it all over. We don't much give a damn what it looks like, just that it is fresh and clean. So don't worry about it.

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A female reader, :):):) United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2008):

I bet most girls will worry about this at some time. But the truth is no vagina is exactly like another. Like anything, they come in different shapes and sizes.

In porn movies they tend to be 'zoomed in' and at an angle that you wouldnt be able to see yourself in, so I wouldnt compare yourself to these.

If you're really worried look it up in medical books.

But I'm sure you are perfectly healthy and natural.

xxx

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (23 August 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntDon't judge anything by porn, please. First, as you say, those women are very sexually experienced. Second, they do use lots of special preparation and lots of trick photography (not to mention special effects) to get just the shot they're looking for. And no, most women's vaginas do NOT look like what you see in a porn movie, nor do most women put them on display so prominently. That's what porn stars get paid to do. (Well, that and other things.)

Neither one of you is a porn star. You are who you are. You should both have realistic expectations. If you're expecting him to have a tool like the guys in those movies, you're going to be disappointed too. Keep that in mind.

Porn is fantasy, not real life. It's that simple. There is a lot of variation in what a woman looks like down there, but I'm sure you look just fine. You don't seem to be describing any significant abnormalities.

Relax. Things will be OK.

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