A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in real trouble, I'm in my mid twenties now and final year of uni, I have a brilliant girlfriend of a year and a half. She's really nice and clever, come from a great family very well raised. We would have a brilliant life together if we ever got married as we both have large career ambitions and we know we'll reach them. Recently we have had difficulties that started on our holidays together in the summer, we argued constantly for near a month and she used things I told her in confidence against me. Things haven't been the same since then as she lashed out at me a few times and I did not do anything back as she is a woman. Most of the time we do get on well but when we fight they are pretty big. I was recently at my work party and a slept with a girl from that. The sex with my partner is boring at best and she refuses to try anything new, the girl from work is very adventurous and we clicked in bed straight away, since then myself and the girl from work have seen each other and I really like her but I want to have my cake and eat it.I want the lifestyle myself and girlfriend could give one another but I also what the fun, passion etc that I have with the new girl.My question is, what should I do? I am always a firm believer in you regret the opportunities you never take but I have two here. I know I'm an awful guy for cheating and maybe because I do that I should have my answer. No matter what I do I know I'm going to regret it! What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2016): Your only young, got a heap of experiences to try yet before marriage. Go have your cake and eat it, and then (without cheating)go get another cake....then....try a few more cakes and when you make your self sick, maybe go for a trifle.
You may love your girlfriend very much deep down, but you are doomed to fail at this relationship because of how you feel already. Let her be free to have a few cakes as well, bit of sugar won't do her any harm.
But don't CHEAT! naughty NOT nice!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2015): I married the boring safe option. Guess what. I'm filled with regret most days. Don't do it! Break up now and live your life
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (23 December 2015):
 Ironically, all you need to know about this situation is within your submittal. To wit:
"My question is, what should I do?" and, "...but I want to have my cake and eat it."
Those two comments are totally incompatible... so YOU have to decide which you want..... your cake, or eating your cake...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2015): The girlfriend will kick you to the kerb as soon as she knows you are cheating.
She will berate you and drop you.
You dont need a girl friend for the potential future life you might have together because you may not be as happy as the rosy comfortable sunday afternoon you like to paint,..
You tell her outright that you have met someone else and you need to move on.
That is quite enough to get her hackles up and totally signifies the point of breakup so that you both know where you stand.
Dont pussy foot around the issue..its just a fact of life and forget about rosy futures as they usually are never what you plan.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (23 December 2015):
You said it: you want to have your cake and eat it. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that. You’re cheating on your girlfriend. You say that you’re “an awful guy for cheating,” but you don’t seem to have any desire to stop. I think you do indeed have your answer: your relationship with your girlfriend has run its course. It’s now time to do the decent thing and end things with her. Then you are free to have all the fun you want, with whoever you want. Your girlfriend does not deserve to be lied to or, frankly, have her own health put at risk by seeing a cheat. You don’t actually seem that awful to me and I doubt you’d particularly want to spin her in to a web of lies. I think you know you need to end it. If you’re looking for some-one to confirm that this is probably the right thing to do, I give it to you. Get on with it.
I wish you all the very best.
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