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What could be going on with my new coworker-friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

There is a new coworker at my job that came to work for a few months. He seems fun. He acts gay, but seems bi. Nit sure how to put it. I am a girl. We kind of been getting along well from the moment we met. Talk and joke a lot at work. But I have noticed feom the beginning that he stares at me a lot. I mean a lot. And sometimes acts more manly with when when its just us talking. That goes back to acting more girly with everyone else. He touches me a lot and sometimes trail my back with his hands from top of to bottom down yhe middle. Tickles.

He stood behind me ones while I was sitting and held my head while he kissed the top of it, as he greeted me, the. He sat in the chair next to me facing me real close with his legs apart. He calles me "baby girl""my love", and recently " baby" he stares so deep in my eyes when we talk.

But latley he has been sort of hurrying away from me when I walk near him. But still stares and joke sometimes. I even heard him kiss at me the other day when I passed by him. And he has been trying to act more girly, even though I overheard hi, say he's glad he's not gay. But all his mannerism and his voice speak otherwise. He is moving back to the city in two months. Why does he spontaneously got close to me so soon and why is he holding back a little more?

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (23 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI agree with the other aunts, also if he has to be someone who he is not when he is talking to you, then that is never a good sign.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI have to agree with YCBS, gay/bi/straight men don't ALL behave in the same manner.

And I also agree that you are NOT a girl you are grown ass woman, ACT like one. You are not in high school where tickles and touchy feely stuff is OK - pretty unprofessional if you ask me.

As fr his behavior? I think he has enjoyed having someone "safe" to goof around with and flirt with, it might be a HUGE ego boost for him. Doesn't mean he has changed his sexual orientation or is even a tiny bit serious.

Since he IS a coworker AND is moving in 2 months I say don't do anything. What's the point? Don't crap where you eat as is.. don't date in your workplace.

And I really don't get all that touchy stuff... what kind of place do you work in where this is actually OK?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 June 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntBlimey. Where to start?

Firstly, are you "a girl" or are you 36-40, as your profile says? I suspect from the content of your post that you are, in fact, a young girl, so, for the purposes of this reply, I will assume that to be the case.

You need to understand that not all gay men are the same, just as not all heterosexual/bi men are the same. Just because he acts "girly" does not automatically mean he is gay. For a start, he may just be messing about, keeping people guessing. After all, unless you want to date him, it is really none of your business whether he is gay, hetero, bi or even asexual.

Are you physically very attractive? Some gay men like to have attractive female friends. Maybe he IS gay and just wants you as a bit of eye candy.

How do you feel about this man? Are you interested in him in a romantic way? If so, ask him out for coffee and try to get to the bottom of what is going on. If not, then let him go and carry on with your job. In any case, you should not be conducting romantic relationships in works time.

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