A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there :) So I've been with my boyfriend for over five years, half of which time he was in the military and we had a long distanced relationship. We both worked hard on our relationship, spending time together when he was home, and our plan was to buy a house and both get jobs when I graduated and he finished his service. Well now we have exactly that, and hope to eventually get married and have kids (he hasn't proposed yet, I've mentioned it a few times in our relationship and he just says he wants to but wants to wait until we can afford a nice ring, wedding, etc.) To be honest since living with him I'm not happy at all. He can be such a good boyfriend because he is sensitive, loyal, and caring. However after living with him all he ever does is play on the xbox. Last night he said he would have his last game and finish by 11:30... well it got to almost midnight and when I asked him he just said 'I don't care.' He went on again this morning, and when I ask him can we go out he just says 'we've got no money, I can't be bothered, the weather's bad, etc.' The only thing he suggested was food shopping. I'm so bored, I just wanted to have a nice day with him. He can also be a little mean sometimes, winding me up on purpose and raising his voice when something bothers him. Last night I refused to go downstairs with him to check something, (mainly because I was upset with him) and so he muttered 'f*** you then' to me. He's said this more than once to me recently. What can I do to fix this? I've tried telling him many times, but I'm really get bored of our lifestyle. I'm 23 and he's 25 by the way. Thank you very much for your time and for any help in advance :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 September 2015):
 Two thoughts:
1. You've been "dating" for 5 years.... and still not married???? Why not?
2. He's given you a preview of what "married life" will be with him. Is THAT what you want for the next 40 years?
I think you know the answers.... and what you need to do...
Good luck...
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (26 September 2015):
 First, I would like to hear that you have your own interests. Doing some things separately strengthens a relationship because you bring something from outside into it. You should have clubs, societies, interests, hobbies that you do on your own. So should he.
Coupled with that you might try and encourage him to do some things together. A walk in the country costs nothing, but can really lift your spirits. Libraries often run a reading group. There are dozens of pursuits which don't break the bank.
If you are bored it's your fault.
You have to build an interesting life, and if he can't come with you then he will be left behind in his virtual life on the computer.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 September 2015):
 I would be more bothered that he said FU than the boredom issue. He also doesn't care about your happiness. He's a prime example of how people change after they get what they want. Maybe he's doing you a favour by not proposing. You would be desperately wanting him to go back to his former nice self while he takes you for granted. If he's one of those who believes that courtship stops once you live together then you are in trouble. You don't go ahead and marry someone who avoids you at home and is mean to you because you request quality time. It's not even something that has to be nudged. It should come naturally as a desire to bond. At least you know how he is now so you can reconsider your relationship. When he said FU it's basically to get back at you. Kind of like saying, "if you don't want to do me a favour by getting stuff from the basement, I don't want to spend time with you either." Living together as partners it means your lifestyles merge, and how you spend your day affects the other. Otherwise you are just coexisting, or just roommates having sex with each other.
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