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What are women's views on foreplay?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 May 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2011)
A male South Africa age 18-21, anonymous writes:

OK well. It is really a fun thing befor the real thing.

And I know guys get pleasure out of foreplay. They like that kind of secret between him and his girlfriend no one else. It keeps him alot interested.

What bothers me is how do women feel generaly about this. ??? I know they all differ in taste.and interest in subjects. But do whomen like foreplay and crave it like men. Or do they do it all for the pleASURE OF THE MAN BECAUSE OF INSECURITY OR just to arouse him enough for the real deal??? what is womens View on foreplay? plesure for man , Insecurety or build up. Please share your thaughts

View related questions: foreplay, insecure

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011):

well from what i've read and what i know, foreplay can and usually is better than actual sex for women because during foreplay the clitoris is mostly stimulated, depending on what you do for foreplay, and women have more nerve endings in the clitoris than the vagina.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

DenimandLace44 agony auntI believe I once slept with Mr Churchhill...only once.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

eyeswideopen agony auntOne of my favorites:

Oh dear, Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (6 May 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntI love how people assume the definition of "foreplay" is the same for everybody. Was there some rulebook I missed out on? "First, touch part A for 2 minutes, then caress part B for 3 minutes, then kiss part C for 2 1/2 minutes, before moving on to the REAL DEAL, which of course for EVERYONE can only be penis in vagina sexual intercourse."

Then there are the orgasm police who insist that a woman's orgasm must occur from penile penetration only. A "clitoral" one is considered inferior somehow. I blame Freud.

Look, men have penises and they are lovely and can be fantastic feeling, but they are not the be-all and end-all of a woman's sexual experience. Sorry, guys. We have our own body parts and our own sensations and I think the best lovers are the ones who recognize that. The best lovers are the ones who try to figure out what works for the person they are with. For some, it may be only sexual intercourse; for others, well, there are so many ways to stimulate and please. Why get stuck in a rut?

I think the people who are disconnected from their bodies, in a way, the ones who are not comfortable or happy, these are the people who derive no pleasure from having their bodies explored and stimulated. Possibly people who have experienced sexual abuse and who have not dealt with the aftermath, or people who have internalized negative messages about sex and their sexuality would dislike sexual play as well.

So I ask again, what do you mean by the term "foreplay"?

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

MonksDaBomb agony aunt"Hang on guys, you're saying that all women like it and that it's one of the best parts."

Not ALL women love foreplay, but I'd be willing to bet that most do. There are women out there who hate foreplay and just want sex.

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A male reader, Cerberus Ireland + , writes (6 May 2011):

Cerberus agony aunt"Bad luck for me but are you guys sure that every woman should like it?" No there are some that don't. I assume you've tried everything though right? Read books and googled some techniques, just to make sure?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011):

Hang on guys, you're saying that all women like it and that it's one of the best parts. My wife doesn't like it at all, never has, gets bored and even distracted. Bad luck for me but are you guys sure that every woman should like it?

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (6 May 2011):

MonksDaBomb agony auntI totally agree with So Totally Confused - foreplay and afterplay are the best!!

Foreplay is a very important step for women: not only is it nice to cuddle and kiss, but it allows our natural lubricant to "get busy" so that when it's time for penetration, it won't hurt.

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A male reader, Cerberus Ireland + , writes (6 May 2011):

Cerberus agony auntYou wanna hear my experience with women and foreplay? They like getting it just as much as we do and they like giving it as much as we do. Foreplay is mostly mutual anyway. It's not like you see in porn at all, it's usually a very loving soft embrace which is mainly kissing and caressing.

But every guy and every girl is different, they all like different things. So you can't just say one thing for all women nor all men.

Some women can't stand giving foreplay it's a chore to them, some women absolutely love giving it but in my experience most are somewhere in between and most just want to make us happy.

As for receiving about 90% love it, over 50% need it to actually have an orgasm as they can't through penetration alone. Even though we like getting it just as much as they do, they need it far more than us. Some hate all foreplay and only like sex but they're rare.

Regardless of whether a girl likes it or not, I find most will gladly give it if you're generous enough when giving it to them.

FYI: Foreplay does not only mean manual and oral. They're only small parts of foreplay. Kissing, caressing, holding, squeezing, eye gazing, speaking, all that kind of thing is exceptionally important in a love making session, it's not all about the sex organs, it's about enjoying every part of your partners body and making all of it tingle with excitement, only then should you move on to the sex stuff. (Again it depends on the mood and your partner)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (6 May 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'm wondering what YOU think foreplay is. I think most women would say they like it, but if you think foreplay is holding her head still with both hands pulling her hair out just a bit while you attempt to perform a tonsilectomy with your penis, right before you ask "you good to go?" and then attempt intercourse without regard to if she is ready and aroused or not, I would venture to say that 99.94 percent of women would say they do not enjoy that particular type of foreplay. If you mean foreplay as in enjoying stroking and caressing and exploring each other's bodies and getting her aroused while you also get aroused, well that's all good.

Look, many times the best part of the meal is the appetizer. The main course is often boring and predictable, while the appetizer has had some thought put into it, all new fresh ingredients and a lot of creativity. You could make the same argument about sex. Not every time and not all the time, often enough that you should pay attention to that......

just saying.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (6 May 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntforeplay is better than the actual act as is the cuddling after.........

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2011):

Miamine agony auntIf women don't get foreplay, they are dry and the sex is painful. Foreplay however includes a lot of things and starts from outside the bedroom, sometimes even outside the house your going to.

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (6 May 2011):

DanceInTheDark agony auntWomen LOVE foreplay. Foreplay is usually the best part for them.

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