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We were planning to move in together and then he texted he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi Everyone,

I've been in a relationship with this guy now for four months. We seem to understand each other from the very start. Our chemistry is like crazy when we are around one another. We fell in love pretty fast( too fast for me). He seem like my dream guy in every sense. We have traveled together in this short period of time and have gotten pretty close. As I thought we were anyways. We were in ATL this New Year weekend and dicussed taking the next step to moving in together. I am a homeowner so he was to move in with me. I left ATL early, as I had to get back to work before he did. He was to return the following Thursday and proceed to move in as discussed. Well he decided not to call me from Tuesday to Friday. He then texted me that Saturday Jan 7th and said he didn't want to be in a realtionship anymore. I was devastated, he didn't even have enough respect to call me or tell me face to face. He has been texting me for the last week now that he loves me and misses me. What games is this guy playing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

View related questions: fell in love, period, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012):

Thanks Honey I'm already on that page of letting him go completely. You're right about me being happy he didn't move in before he came to this decision. I'm gonna focus on my career now and forget about this whole situation. It couldn't have been real love if he reacted the way he did. He had his twin call my office this morning to plead his case. Stating he just got scared. My response was and is "let him stay scared, it's over".

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWell, be glad he didn't move in first before he decided he didn't want a relationship. That would have sucked more.

Block him number, let him go. He can't play with you and your emotions. Seems to me that he is just not wanting YOU to move on, stringing you along with the phone calls..

What kind of TOOL dumps someone via text? Lowlife!

His loss, honey!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your responses. I don't appreciate any negativity. The situation was hurtful enough, I needed advice not to be judged. I didn't entertain his text at all for one person in particular. Is 'm hurt by the way he handled the situation and how his actions and words don't line up. I always believed that your word is your bond in every aspect of life. His words and actions said he doesn't care and that he is a coward...

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (17 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntFour months is rather soon to be moving in together and like you he probably thought things were good, but moving too quickly. That is understandable. How he chose to handle it was cowardly.

Personally, I could never trust the man again so getting back together would be pointless. I could never relax with him because I would forever have that nagging fear in the back of mind that he was going to drop a bombshell. Friends only wouldn't work either since he doesn't meet my standards.

Deal breaker.

Grieve, and learn to forgive him. He's as human as the rest of us, but don't take him back. Gracefully walk away, which is more than he did for you.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (17 January 2012):

Danielepew agony auntIf he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, meaning a relationship with you, give him what he wants. Off he should go.

If you did otherwise, he would know he can play with your feelings.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012):

"Any advice would be greatly appreciated... "

Be thankful this total stranger showed his true colors before he moved in to YOUR home to freeload off YOU.

Couldn't help notice key phrases throughout posting "four months," "We seem," "pretty fast," "too fast," "He seem," "I thought," etc, etc, etc, etc.

Most telling phrase: "he didn't even have enough respect." You got that right, he doesn't respect you at all.

"He has been texting me for the last week now that he loves me and misses me. What games is this guy playing?" Sounds like the seemingly better offer he threw you over for didn't pan out and now he's crawling back hoping to freeload off YOU by moving into YOUR home after all.

He's a user who thinks you're a sap, and after reading your post I completely understand why he'd be inclined to think that way. You would be an absolute fool to even acknowledge his texts, if you aren't one already.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012):

It sounds like you have the right to be pissed off. He did two awful things that you should not stand for:

1. He broke up with you via text message. That is just awful. Only a coward or an idiot would do that.

2. After breaking up with you, he is still texting you. It's almost like he wants to break up with you without feeling any pain. Again, he is either a coward for not dealing with the pain of a break-up himself, or he is an idiot who just does not know what he is doing.

So basically, realize that these are two enormous red flags in terms of the type of person he is. You don't want to be with a guy like this.

(I am a guy myself and I would never do anything like this.)

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