A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship last August with a guy who was a player in high school. It was our last summer before we started college. We were friends for a while before we dated and went out as friends before we decided to take it to the next level. I was a bit skeptical because of his reputation, but he convinced me that he had changed. And he had. With him, I had the best summer I had ever had. He made me happier than I could ever have imagined myself being, not only while we were dating but also while we were going out as friends. Maybe this is why I'm having such a hard time completely getting over him.I guess you could say that there has always been an awkward attraction between us. During the summer, though, is when we started to pay attention to it. We have a mutual friend who we would share everything with. She would tell him what was on my mind and she would tell me what was on his mind. I can't imagine anything going better. When we were going out as friends, he would always tell me that I was going to be his girlfriend in college and that we were going to get married. I laughed, because he clearly meant it as a joke. (It wasn't as creepy as I'm making it sound and he's much more smooth and charming that I'm making him sound.) We eventually accepted that we were boyfriend/girlfriend and spent nearly the entire summer together. When one of us went on vacation, we would call and text each other a lot because we missed each other so much.Then came time to start college. We ended up going to the same school, so we figured that we could continue what we had, though we realized that we wouldn't be able to see each other nearly as much (he's in a very demanding program which I totally understand). We lasted about 3 weeks. Towards the end, I hadn't even heard from him for an entire week. We definitely had a communication problem. We officially broke up (though we were practically broken up for 2 weeks) when he spent two nights with a girl that he fell for. He didn't have sex with her (surprisingly, since he is quite the sex fiend) but he did tell me that he was in love with her. I gave them my blessing because I wanted to keep being friends with him and agreed that we didn't have a relationship anymore. The girl he spent the night with apparently wasn't interested, though.About a month later, we both got drunk and ended up making out and spending the night together. All this time, he had been telling me that he missed me practically every time we talked. I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen after that night, but nothing did happen. He had a couple of one night stands and he almost had a relationship with a new girl but that didn't happen. He called me and told me one morning when he had sex because he was so happy.Fast forward to winter break. We saw each other occasionally, but more towards the end. He, of course, told me how much he missed me and even declared that we were going to get married some day. He flirted with me a LOT and our mutual friend told me that he was interested in getting back together. I was not sure at all whether or not I thought that would be a good idea.After break, we got back to school and, again, barely saw each other. He told me all about this girl who he fell for. She was his girlfriend for about a week before he messed it up by spending the night with a different girl (the same reason we broke up! Imagine that.) And here's the kicker: he told me that he didn't regret it at all. I'm pretty sure that's the last time that he told me that he missed me. So fast forward again to a couple of weeks ago. He found a new girlfriend who he seems to really be into and she REALLY likes him and is very very excited to have a boyfriend. I don't really think that they'll last very long since "she won't put out" but, apparently, they had sex so maybe they will. This is a girl who declared that she would remain pure until marriage, too.So, okay, I'm sorry that this is already incredibly long, but it feels to have a kind of abridged report on me and him. So... how do I get over him 100%? I realize what a jerk he has been at college, but I can't help but be reminded of what he was like during the summer and at home. I could have fallen HARD for him if he stayed how he was during the summer. Also, what's going to happen this summer? Do I get back with him realizing that the same thing will probably happen once we get to school?
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 hi
what u need to do is to forget this guy completely he is full of drama and no shame of what he does to women, you are better off without. sooo this summer you are going to build new memories beautiful ones with a different guy, dont waste your time on him he is not worth it. go out on dates and meet new people --- and that mutual friend of yours i think you need to start laying some boundaries otherwise she/he will keep on annoying you with his plans and you will be unable to move on hoping he will come back to you. tell him/her that you have considered moving on and what he is doing is his business it has nothing to do with u anymore, tell her she can tell him its over because you deserve a man who will be with u all the time not the one who leaves you when he sees another skirt passing by.
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