A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:im 19 and my boyfriend is slightly older, he is 24 and we have been together for 6 months, we have known eachother nearly a year. this is the issue - we had been together around 2 months and everything was perfect, then he got a new job. he drives trucks 6 nights a week, often 6pm start and works through til 7am the following morning. he has thursday nights off, as he plays football til 10.30pm, an this is when i can see him. he will pick me up at half 11, an i'll stay over til friday afternoon. im a full time student so he does fit in with my routine, but i have more free time an i if i could id love to spend it with him. mostly, he is really sweet, puts my name into songs an has recently told me he loves me, tho im beginning to wonder where the sex life has gone. once a week isn't enough for me, but it is for him. he has explained to me that his loss of libido is nothing to do with me, yet when he is constantly pointing out drop dead gorgeous girls in magazines an on the tele it begins to hurt. he has always been a charmer and very flirty with women and completely loves himself, an i've always known that - but its making me feel insecure now because we dont have much sex.when we do have sex its amazing, but like i said once a week just isn't enough, i know he would like to have more sex but is simply too tired and has no energy by the time it gets to his day off. i don't doubt for one minute he is cheating on me, he has no time! and i do trust him, even though he can make me jealous - sometimes i wish he'd show a bit of jealousy sometimes when other guys shows interest!i has been confusing the last couple of months, there's been times when ive felt very ignored an as though he has no time for me - yet i love him. do you think this is a dead end? i don't want to split up with him, but his loss of libido worries me as we have only been together 6 months! should i keep my options open? what would you do??
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flirt, insecure, jealous, libido, sex life, split up Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 He does have a busy schedule! One of my very best guy friends had this problem when he switched businesses and started working his ass off trying to get the new one off the ground. He was having sexual problems with his girlfriend of 5 mths, no sex drive at all. He was really stressed but things were fine after about 3 mths.
However, talking about other girls and how hot they are is a bit insensitive so I would tell him to keep his mouth shut unless he wants to hear about Johnny Depp or whoever you like all the time.
The vanity issue can be a problem. I have dated a football player before and it kinda goes with the territory but gets awfully tiring. It seems to not be that big of a deal for you when everything is normal sexually so I wouldn't overreact on this just yet.
Give him time to settle into his new routine and you'll feel better, and if not, come back and we'll be happy to help!
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