A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing an amazing guy for almost two years, he has asked me to be his girlfriend but I said no because he was leaving for college and I feel as though I'm not good enough for him. so we've just been a thing, or friends with benefits kind of.. so he's in college, which means he parties all the time.. I know he has been dating other girls and it absolutely kills me to think about. We've done stuff together, but we were both still virgins. he promises me he hasn't had sex with anyone, I do believe him about that, even though its hard to believe. But even though he says he's sill a virgin, I know he has probably made out with lots of girls and went on plenty of dates.. tears fill my eyes when I think about this stuff. I'm so sick of crying over this stuff. Thanks for reading my rant...I know, I know...I'm not his girlfriend he's allowed to. I want to be with him so bad, I can't even explain. but I'm not good enough and I'm trying my best to work on myself. I need to love myself before anyone can love me. when my confidence is up, someday hopefully it will be, I will definitely be his girlfriend if the option is sill there. Anyways, my question is, how can you handle seeing the person you have an enormous amount of feelings for, be with some one else... how do you cope with knowing they're not yours and the thoughts of them making out with other girls?
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confidence, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 You are a poster-child for "FWB" wherein the GIRL sells her soul and wonders why she feels like crap.... and the guy comes out scot-free and gets all the s*x he wants without ever having to consider the dispair that he's left in his wake.....
IF you wake up, you'll probably decide that this guy is NOT "the one for you".... and, also, isn't worth a whit of your time and energy....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 March 2012):
 FWB for virgins…. Oy I’ve seen it all now… FWB means FUCK buddies… and it means you have NO say in who he sleeps with or fools around with. YOU have no say because he’s just a “friend”
HE ASKED you to be his GF and you said NO so what’s the problem???
What do you mean you are not good enough? Of course you are good enough….you are correct that no one can love you till you love yourself however… is there a counselor or a therapist you can see to help you work on these areas???
If you have feelings for him and have NOT told him then you have to tell him. Then you can decide what to do. UNTIL he knows how you feel he’s operating in the dark.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): He can be yours but you pushed him away. He asked you to be his GIRLFRIEND. Doesn't that tell you you're good enough? If you don't want to lose him tell him how you feel.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 You stop pretending to only be friends and you start telling him the truth. Otherwise this relationship will never go anywhere and he will meet and fall in love with someone else. If you want something you have to go after it. And you have to be honest about who you are and what you want. Men respect that. The confidence thing will come as you get older and learn who you are. I will admit though, it's extremely hard to be in high school and date a college guy since you are on completely different planes at this point in your life and it will be much harder to have a romantic relationship right now. But you've already developed feelings for him, so why hide it? If he thinks you're just friends he'll continue to look for a woman who wants more.
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