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Was my teacher flirting with me?

Tagged as: Dating, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

could teachers hit on you and flirt with you?

i had this in the past and they were female teachers i had had. they would touch me on the shoulders, arms, wrists, hands, etc. one of them tried to get very close body contact with me and mostly they are always looking and glancing at me. also one was always starring at my butt and private area. would this be getting hit on and flirting??

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A female reader, dreamingwithabrokenheart United States +, writes (15 May 2008):

dreamingwithabrokenheart agony auntit's definitely not sexual harassment or even a sign that they are attracted if they touch your arms, hands, shoulders, wrists, etc. A lot of teachers do that to emphasize their points or to make it feel like they are more personally talking to you. Once my teacher gave me a hug and then let his hand linger on my waist for a while - trust not that I minded or anything but there's a big difference between hand/arm touching and flat out leaving your hand on someone's waist. You have nothing to worry about.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2007):

brooke5426 agony auntI'm with leanne - a female teacher touching you on the wrist is just a way of reassuring you or comforting you its not proof that they want in your pants!

it actually reminds me of an incident i had at work last week. i work at a care home and one of the male residents has parkinsons and cant feed himself so i was feeding him then as i walked away i put my hand on his shoulder and kind of rubbed his upper arm very briefly. he immediately pulled his arm away and shouted "dont touch me! im married and i love my wife!!" very funny for the girls at work, a bit mortifying for me. i swear now i was not trying anything with this 90-odd year old man lol.

im sure your teachers were just being friendly, and i dont see how touching someones wrist or shoulder could be seen as sexual harrassment.



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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2007):

leanne.od agony aunti do think you could be reading to much into this.

it's just, it's uncommon for one teacher to make sexual advances but to have a few all female is slightly beyond belief.

my teachers used to touch my shoulders, but it's a sign of comfort and not that they are attracted to you. and as for them staring at you, i'm sure they weren't and if you couldn't have felt unsettled by it otherwise you would have noticed before now.

it's in the past and you don't seemed traumatized.

take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

Well, as you're now getting on towards the age of 30, this happened some time ago before the politically correct brigade got their hooks into everything.

In my day it was common for teachers to touch you - in a friendly non-sexual way - and it was perfectly normal innocent behaviour. Nowadays they're not even allowed to give a little kid a hug after they've skinned their knees in the playground.

Females of whatever persuasion have always been 'touchy feely', it's part of their makeup and what makes them female.

As for the staring, unless I witnessed it myself it's difficult to say whether it was anything inappropriate. My graddaughter used to go to music lessons to learn the clarinet. She had a male teacher. She told her mum that in every lesson this teacher was 'eying her up' and looking into her cleavage. Her mum asked me to accompany her to one of her lessons to see what I thought. Sure enough, he was looking up and down as young 'un tootled away making a racket. Looking at her cleavage? Noooo - he was looking at where her fingers were on the instrument. Hence one teacher was saved from the embarrassment of being suspended and accused of being a pervert.

I'd say there were innocent explanations in your case unless you could prove otherwise.


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A female reader, drastic knowledge United States +, writes (27 September 2007):

drastic knowledge agony aunti agree with rcn this behavior isnt acceptable from a teacher and you shouldnt feel as its a flirt it is much more which they need help with so seek it by telling someone who can help

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (27 September 2007):

rcn agony auntI wouldn't call it hitting on or flirting, it's sexual harassment.

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