A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone.My boyfriend of 19 months dumped me almost 2 months ago. We were in a long distance relationship as of September this year when he started college, and he's currently home for the X-mas holidays. He attends college overseas. I'm currently 14-years-old and he turned 16 at the beginning of the month. We're still pretty close, and he ended up making out with a girl on his birthday. He told me that he felt like he had cheated on me, even though it was after we broke up. We've hung out several times since he came home, and I kissed him the day after he got back. I thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd take me back. This boy means everything to me; I may be young but he's my first love, he's also my first kiss and my first proper boyfriend. We've been together since I was 12 and he was my age. If I had've known what was going to happen after I kissed him, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. We tried hanging out again several days after the first kissing incident, but that ended up as a full-blown make-out session. He was the one who kissed me first then. I found out 2 hours later (via text from a mutual friend) that he had asked the girl he made out with back at college out, only hours after kissing me. I was devestated, and I still am. We hung out again on Christmas Eve, and we hugged, flirted and just hung out almost like old times. Then, yep, you guessed it, we kissed again. He kissed me after me trying to restrain myself from doing anything stupid for three hours. I felt terrible afterwards; I'd just let him cheat on his girlfriend with me, a girl who I am extremely jealous of, yet I wouldn't want her to get hurt. I felt guitly, I felt bad, and I felt like a skank. I still do. Two days later on Boxing Day, me and my ex hang out again. This time I was certain that I wouldn't kiss him, or hug him for too long, or try anything. I was going to try my hardest to treat him how I would any of my close guy friends. But nope, we end up making out again, I end up feeling guilty, and I feel like a skank. I love my ex more than anything or anyone, and I really don't want to cut him out of my life, even if it is for the best. I feel terrible after letting him cheat TWICE (and it just makes me wonder how many times he cheated on me), and I can't help but wonder if he still has feelings for me, or if he was bored and just wanted a quick 'fling'. I know it's probably best to tell him where to shove it, seeing as he's probably just messing around with my feelings and using me, and this poor girl back in the UK, but I just can't. I know I should do, but it's easier said than done. I'm also trying my hardest to get over him, but a part of me doesn't want to. Your help would be greatly appreciated.Thank you.~ J
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, flirt, jealous, kissing, long distance, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Well, since you don't want to do anything, what help can we be?
You know what you should do. You said it. It's the right thing to do even if it sucks to do it.
Was he just using you? Maybe a little, but I bet he still has feelings for you.
Was what he did right? Not at all.
He cheated on his girlfriend. He professed feelings for you and asked out a different girl in the same day. These are the actions of a player, not a good guy.
So, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do. Keep getting played, or end it. He may have been a good guy once, but he's not anymore.
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