A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:man with bagage from last relationship just wants to hang out, no commitment, supper, movie, site seeing, sex and interrested in other women also what should i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): If you also want a no strings attached arrangement then go for it.
Imagine that you and him are having this arrangement and it's been a few weeks or months. Then one day he just disappears or tells you he no longer wants to do it anymore, maybe he has found a woman he wants to be serious about. How would you feel? If you can honestly just shrug it off and not be affected by it, then great, go for this arrangement.
but if you can see yourself getting hurt because you thought you would have meant more to him by now, then...don't go down this road to begin with.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 July 2012):
 If YOU want the same things I say go for it, if you deep down want more, then I say pass it over.
FWB can be such a messy thing if one person want more. Usually that seems to be the woman, since we tend to add more emotions to sex then many guys do.
Honestly, the fact that you are questioning it, makes me thing this is NOT what you want or need.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 July 2012):
 You have two distinct choices. To wit:
1. If his request for a "friends with benefits" situation appeals to you... then you can say, "Alright, I'm with you, let's get started."
2. If his request does NOT appeal to you, then you can say, "I'm sorry, but what you suggest is not appealling to me, so I wouldn't consider it."
Simple, no?
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 July 2012):
 Well what do you want? If you are asking what to do I think you perhaps like him more than just a FWB kind of thing and if you sleep with him you will fall for him and then you will get hurt because he’s been totally honest that he wants NSA sex… Kudos to him for honesty.
I’m thinking you want a relationship that might progress to something serious and permanent… if that’s the case, and you can sleep with a man and not get attached and still manage to be open and available to other men who might find you suitable for a life partner, then this might work in the short term.
IF however, like many women you will or have fallen for him, then RUN in the other direction as a NSA/FWB arrangement with someone you care about and want more with is 100% guaranteed to not end well.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 July 2012):
 That does not sound like a good idea, unless all you want is sex without any likelihood for a committed or lasting relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 July 2012):
 Don't put yourself through the emotional turmoil of a situation like this. How can you have all of those things, but no responsibility to one another? He would be using you and it isn't a good idea.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 July 2012):
 he is not worthy of your time and attention.
He is selfish and has nothing to offer and wants you to lower your expectations to the very very little he is willing to offer.
I would walk away from him at double quick time
You are worthy of more than this.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 July 2012):
 I assume he wont give the friendship, hanging out, movies, meals, etc without the sex? Because I could handle that, however I wouldn't be able to handle a relationship which involved all the above, plus sex without some sort of emotional engagement nor monogamy. I'm a one guy woman and I expect any man I have sex with to be a one woman guy.
Other people are different from me and it wouldn't bother them, you just need to decide if you can accept or can't accept.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): I wouldnt call that dating. I would say he wants a ^^k buddy multiple ^^k buddies infact. Fun, but no comitment or love. Maybe a friendship at best. If this is something you want then thats great. But if it were me and i had a ^^k buddy i would want my ^^k buddy to be monogamous to me until he met someone. Just to be safe, i wouldnt want to catch any stds, even if i was using protection. Which i would be. If you want commitment, you wont get it from him. Its your choice. Do whats right for you. Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (25 July 2012):
OP you didn't say what you were looking for but will assume it is a more committed friendship than he is offering. Although he says he's not into commitment is he saying never, or just that he's not ready? It depends on how much baggage hes carrying from the previous relationship and how long he intends to carry it. If you like him them maybe best to be just a good friend to him and give him the time and space to work put his issues. If you are prepared for the "no strings" sex he may actually quickly grow a commitment to you but you run the risk that he suddenly gets scared of it and does something to break it - and hurt you. I have a couple of friends, male and female , who broke up good relationships just because they felt scared of the level of commitment and expectation that had grown. Both are now happily married to people that gave them a lot of space for a long time. Hence my advice. Good luck and keep your heart off limits, make him work for that!
...............................
A
female
reader, Catharsis +, writes (25 July 2012):
 Look at this situation from several different viewpoints. Picture a friend of yours in the same situation, what would you say to them?Essentially a man who asks for no commitment or any kind is not looking for a relationship or love, for that matter. This means he could easily toss you aside after getting what he "wants", which could just be sex.Do you really want to risk being in a relationship where you aren't considered valuable enough for a relationship? You and every woman on this planet deserves to be treated as more than just a tool for sex or something to pass the time.All in all, however, it is your decision. What happens depends on the type of man he is and what you want to do. If you just want sex and no commitment as well, then, have at it. But you have to keep in mind this could result in serious heartbreak and abandonment if you're not careful. Weigh your options carefully. Could it be possible that he'll use you and never give you another thought, or will he decide to stay with you?Be careful, and I wish you the best!-Catharsis
...............................
|
