A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and 5 other mates went to South Africa for a holiday which we said that we had been planning and talking about for nearly 3 years. 1 of the guys who came with us was openly gay. He wasn't camp or anything like that lol. The group, myself included, were all pretty cool around him and stuff even when we were like by the pool or whatever, so yeah no problems with him being gay. On the last of the holiday evening the gay guy started to almost flirt with me a little, like touching my face and looking into my eyes a lot. Well I honest to this day don't know why I didn't say something to him at the time but well he leaned over and kissed me. Again I don't know why I didn't like try to stop him or nothing. Well at the time that was that really. All of us had had quite a bit to drink so to be honest I wasn't really bothered that I just kissed a guy lol.The next morning this guy was trying to talk to me about it. But I just kept saying "forget about it". But I don't know why but he never let it drop. He didn't tell any of the others or nothing. But he just kept taking me aside and asking me about it. When we flew home it was a night flight so the others were asleep but I couldn't because I just couldn't get it out of my head.Well for the 2/3 weeks which followed after coming home I couldn't think straight at all. I broke up with my girlfriend because I just didn't feel anything for her anymore. It has plagued my mind ever since really. But 3 nights ago I kind of decided to kiss this guy again to find out whether or not I really was or not. When he answered his door I kissed him on his doorstep. We went inside and well we just went up stairs (this was about 1am) we went up stairs and had sex. Without being too graphic all the way through having sex I just felt that this is so right. But my head was saying that this is so wrong. Well anyway I woke up the next morning in his bed with him asleep next to me. I got up without saying anything to him and went home. Well what I am unsure about is whether or not I should accept (which is what my heart commands) or try and fight it (because that is what my head is telling me to do).Any ideas? Ta to those who answerSL-H
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): you said when you got ack from holiday you couldn't get what happened out of your head. you didn't explain that and i wonder if that is the key to this issue. what couldn't you get out of your head? that you enjoyed it? that is was a powerful and highly enjoyable experience? or was it just a big shock and you didnt know what to make of it? then you said you got back home and split up with your g'friend because you didnt feel anything for her anymore. do i conclude that was because you felt something very strong for this guy?
if the answer to this is that you did feel something straight away for this guy when he kissed you and you did say you enjoyed having sex with him, then it would seem to me there is a good reason to see him again and see where it goes. dont worry about thinking you are now gay, bi or whatever. lables means nothing, follow your heart but at the same time use your head to honestly acknowledge to yourself why you are reacting in this way. it's ok not to be too sure at this stage. enjoy the experience, be honest with yourself and see it through. good luck
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Not only friends should accept the poster for what he is, whatever his sexual inclination is. He should, too. That is his problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Babes, lets drop the labels, they just confuse things.
One human being kissed another human being, they tried it again and it didn't feel disgusting. The two human beings had sex and it felt nice, but because it's something new, it is frightening and strange. One human being now has a lot of decisions to make, dose this human being see the other human being again, is there enough there to make a relationship?
End of story...
If you find yourself attracted to other guys or other girls, please come back and then we can try to attach labels, depend on the intensity of your feelings or the frequency of which gender you attract....
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A
male
reader, Bryanz  +, writes (24 October 2008):
I disagree with Danielepew.
You are probly bi-curious. Try having encouters with guys, put aside if you do like guys. Gay or bisexual is NOTHING to be ashamed of. If it is because you're friends would be against it, that means they aren't really good friends if they are right? Friends should accept you for who you are, not your sexuality or other personal instincts.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (23 October 2008):
You're gay. I think you should accept it.
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A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Of course you should follow your heart if you like him.Your head is saying no because we all grow up learning that a heterosexual culture and life style is the norm. Being and/or Leading a bisexual or homersexual lifestyle is different. You will just need to get used to the fact that you are the way you are. It is an attchievment to live for who you are and also something to be proud about.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Hey sweet,
I don't think you need to throw yourself into a proverbial box so quickly. You found something new, and I encourage you to experiment. Be SAFE - ALWAYS. Girl or guy, I don't care, ALWAYS make sure that the sex you have is 100% safe.
Moving on, it seems like you have a spark with this fella and I say, why fight it? Why not see where it goes? You're single now, you're available. I think you should see if you find something really fulfilling with this guy. Maybe you will, or maybe you'll experiment a little bit and then feel like you're not into it.
You may be gay, bisexual, bicurious... but why bother with labels? Just go with what feels right and according to you - this does.
Good luck!!
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A
male
reader, InterCntlCHmp  +, writes (23 October 2008):
There are no categories man; straight, gay, bi whatever they are stupid groups that mean nothing. Bottom line is people are people; we are all emotional creatures that can experience a whole rainbow of emotion (no pun intended); so you made a connection with someone and you said yourself that you enjoyed it. Leave it at that; if the next connection is with a man or a woman or both it doesn't matter just make sure it's a true connection and follow you're heart. Good luck
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