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This guy is pressuring me to take my clothes off....what do I do??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2008) 13 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2008)
A female Australia, anonymous writes:

Ive been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now and he keeps trying to pressure me into taking my clothes off. I keep saying no because Im not comfortable with that yet as its too soon. But I do like him.

Anyway, today he said something to me which really offended me.

He said something alogn the lines of 'i used to think jessica alba was a godess...but then i met you'. Hmm you would think thats a nice compliment right? but no, he then went on to say 'but atleast she would take her clothes off for her bf'. That really hurt.

What do i do? he wont give up on asking me. he then wil say 'i feel like such a fool for asking' and also says things like 'you must hate me now dont you? so i feel sorry for him, but then he will ask the next day again several times.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2008):

Excellent! Glad we could help, and I'm glad you are dumping him. We get so sick of telling people that they need to dump their boyfriend and then they reply saying "Oh but I love him so I'll just talk to him and hope he changes."

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the advice everyone.

lexilou & kenny- we are both 19 years old...so we arent young teenagers or anything. although like you said, its something you would probably expect from a teenage boy. to be honest, his response about jessica alba just amazed me at how pathetic he could try and justify something like that.

anyway, i think you are all right that i should dump him.

i just needed to hear it from someone else, or 13 other people :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

Heyy you! i went recently by a situation that's pretty similar as yours, i tried leaving him..and after a day he came to me saying he was selfish, and apologizing etc... but u HAVE to let him kno that NO is NO, and if he trully loves u, he'll wait, if not, then i'm sorry honey but he was just not good enough for you..!!

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2008):

"Oh I'm so sorry, it'll never happen again, I feel so bad..."

Then it happens the next day.

He's manipulating you. He's trying nagging, he's tried paying you compliments he's tried guilt. He knows he just has to give you puppy eyes and you'll forgive him.

Next time he says "you must hate me now" say "yes I'm starting to."

Dump him. He'll keep on about this no matter how much it hurts you. And when you finally crack and do it then he'll start on the next thing.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, lilly123 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2008):

lilly123 agony auntGet rid of him,you are not comfortable with him and if he is pressuring you now he want stop until he gets what he wants, so get rid of him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

Just tell him no. And if he doesn't respect your choice DUMP HIM!

LOL. :)

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A male reader, a_decent_1 India +, writes (3 August 2008):

a_decent_1 agony auntA REAL MAN would never force sex or any such activity. No guy with a good MOral character would ask you to take your clothes off in the first place. And definitely not if you've refused once.

DUMP HIM... There are guys who want girlfriends.. And there are guys who want pleasure. If you know what i mean...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

this guy is obviously a bad person that is only in this for sex. dump him.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntYou should have turn round and said... "Yes but Jessica Alba is not dating an ASSHOLE like you"!!!!

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A female reader, hanz1993 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2008):

hanz1993 agony auntThis guy is not worth it hun and he is obviously making your life very miserable and unhappy.

How old are you? because its worse the younger you are but this is pretty bad no matter what your age is!

I have been in a relationship like this and my ex kept asking for sex but i really really liked him and i still do but i new he couldnt treat me like that so i had no choice but to get rid of him before he talked me into something i might of regreted.

Though I only did that because my life was already messed up without him making it worse. My previous boyfriend before him made me pregnant when i was hardly a teenager it was just before my 14th birthday. Now i do have a beautiful baby girl but i have lost my chid hood.

If you give into this boy as i did then once you have taken your clothes off he will want more and more and more until you will have a baby growing inside you and you will have the hardest choice of your life.

Now i'm not saying you should split up with him but my advice would be that you do before its to late, though if you honestly will find that to difficult then set him straight and tell him NO not maybe and definitely not yes just NO.

Do it hun before its to late

x

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (3 August 2008):

kenny agony auntYou don't specify an age bracket for this post so im assuming you are over 16. You should never ever be pushed into something you are not comfortable doing. You are good to stand your ground and say no to him, but he does not seem to be taking that no for an answer as he keep's on pestering you to take your clothes off. As you say you have only been seeing him for 2 weeks, and really he should respect your desision and quit asking. Talk to him and tell him to stop, if he still carry's on then maybe you may want to ask yourself if this is the guy for you.

Good luck x

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2008):

lexilou agony auntDump him he is not worth the hassle. A decent guy would wait until you are ready. Are you quite young?? This sounds like the sort of thing a young guy would say to his girlfriend, that Jessica ALba would do it for her bf. Next he'll be saying if you loved me you would. Keep your respect and your clothes on x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

Never let anyone pressure you for sex you're not ready for- or you will regret it. Anyone who cares for you won't pressure you into sleeping with him when you've said you're not ready. His behaviour is immature and his actions show he's just using you. If he cared about you, he would respect your answer and not pressure you. Never have sex you're not ready for to keep a man; if he would leave because of no sex, then he will leave anyway.

If he doesn't respect you enough and care about your feelings to wait till you're ready, then you shouldn't be with him.

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