A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 26 yrs old. I split up with my boyfriend in March, which was a mutual decision, even though we were both very upset to let it go.Since then I have been partying a lot, drinking and doing drugs to get out of my head. Not good!In June went out and met a guy who lived in the next street, and we had a one night stand. I knew straight away I wasn't interested in pursuing things with him, and told him so. He said he really liked me, but would rather be friends than nothing at all. So we started hanging out, with his best friend/housemate who I swiftly developed a massive crush on! I have always felt vibes back from him too, but i realised it was forbidden for him, as his best friend/my one-night stand still likes me.Anyway, I became friends with their whole group (about 5 guys and 4 girls) over the summer, and this crush has only got worse and worse, and I have felt like I am madly in love with this man! Then at the weekend I got really drunk and slept with another one of the group of friends, who is even in a band with the guy I want to be with. The next night I had a long chat and flirtation with the guy I love, and the strongest signals I have ever had from him. It felt really beautiful and hopeful between us!But now I am terrified that he will find out about the weekend and think I am just a slut, and never consider me again...Should I tell his bandmate the truth about my love for his friend and ask him not to tell, or go tell him myself, or just hope it all goes unsaid?!I don't think I can just leave them all alone altogether, as I am close to them all as friends now, and truly think this guy could be 'the one'!Needless to say I am never getting that drunk again, and feel like a total idiot!
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best friend, crush, drugs, drunk, flirt, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 You think you met the one, and sleep with someone else.
and now you are asking wether the best way to start a relationship after all, is to start it with a lie.
It all depends on him. Personally, I would call you flakey as hell and getting close to self-destructive. But I am not "the one".
I wouldn't start with a lie though. Since you two aren't dating, what has happened so far doesn't really matter after all. Not all guys want a girl who has shagged two of his friends but some guys might not mind.
Although, you do say that "the one" didn't approach you because he considered you off-limits because his friend liked you. Then you slept with another guy, totally uncaring of guy #1 feelings. How would "the one" respond to this?
Finally, to be really judgemental, when you have drunk sex with one guy, then have a romantic evening the very next day with someone you claim to have loved all along, you might have more issues then just not knowing your limit when it comes to alcohol.
You are not a teen anymore.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 October 2009):
You have to take this really slowly. You're doing this on impulse at the moment, so slow down and think! Stop all drugs, and quite getting drunk. Then, get to know this guy slowly to make sure he is the 'one'. If he is the one, the past won't matter when it comes to talking about it. Be honest, and don't lie. But before anything else, just slow it all down.
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