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Suspicious acts!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

If my boyfriend shaves before he sees his female co-worker, is he pursueing her?

[Moderator note: The following was posted as a seperate question on the same topic from the same user]

My live in boyfriend shaves everytime he is going to work with a female co-worker. He never shaves for me on the weekend when it is our only time together (he works graveyard, I work days) Does that mean that he is pursueing this co-worker? ...

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (23 October 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'll tell you something, my husband likes to be admired by other women, or at least likes to think other women find him attractive. It makes him feel good about himself and since I think he IS attractive, I don't mind most of the time. There are a few occasions when he talks to an absolutely stunning woman that I get a teensy bit insecure. But that's about me, not him; he's not doing anything but talking to them. He's not getting their numbers on the sly and sneaking out to meet up with them.

He shaves before every single workday. He just does. On the weekends, he doesn't unless we're heading out somewhere on a date night or to a party or we're hanging out with friends. If it's just me and him, it's stubble time! I don't mind, he gets a break from shaving and he looks kinda rugged with the day old beard.

There's something that's telling you something's off about the way he's interacting with this colleague. You've chosen the shaving thing. I think his behavior is perfectly reasonable. But I guess there's some niggling little doubt that's getting to you.

Maybe you're right, your intuition has picked up on an alteration in his behavior, maybe he's cheated before and you haven't regained trust. Or maybe you're really insecure and don't trust him for no good reason.

With my guy, I'd probably sit him down and tell him that I was feeling insecure about this woman. That something about the way he was approaching her seemed a little too interested. I don't know what your relationship is like, you didn't really give us enough details. There's more to this story and all you're going to get are answers like these.

It's normal for guys to do this.

You're overreacting, reading things into mundane daily hygiene chores.

Why don't you tell us what's going on inside your head and with him?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (23 October 2009):

Fatherly Advice agony auntShaving is an indication from him that what he is doing is serious to him he wants to make a good impression. If there is a deal to close or a performance review I would definitely shave. People tend to distrust men who are not clean shaven. (don't ask me why, I've never understood it)

Now all that was assuming that he was seeing her at work, or for work. If he is meeting her after work in a non work setting, for some other reason, then it doesn't matter whether he shaves or not, He is Pursuing her!

Now to flip the table on you, think about this. My wife doesn't wear make up for our regular weekly dates. She also doesn't wear makeup for work. She does wear it for her church woman's group. Does that mean she is attracted to women? No, She just wants to make a good impression.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

Depends on what he is shaving, lol.

No really, a lot of men simply want to take a break from shaving on the weekends as they are not working. If you don't like this habit, tell him it scratches your face, tell him if he doesn't shave his face you will stop shaving your legs, bring humour into it.

If he has to Meet with this coworker and she happens to be female, I don't think his shaving to be well groomed at work is a sign he is pursuing anything. He wants to look presentable what is wrong with that?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2009):

There isn't enough to say yes at all. I'd say that he wants to look tidy, which could have quite a few meanings. It could be better for business? That said, you'll have to watch out for other signs.

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