| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hey, I need your help. Please don't be so mean against me when you read my story, because we all make bad choices and I never planned on being with a married man nor do,I want to break up anyone's marriage. So, here's the story.Some years back I met this man. He lead me to believe that his wife cheated on him and they were getting a divorce. He said they were only living together until he was able to get his own place. I fell for it we started talking and fell in love.After some time I told him I didn't want to see him until he was divorced. We still talked a little on the phone. I got tired and decided to date someone else after waiting for years. The guy and I dated for a short while. The first guy was very hurt and treated me very mean. After everything I still loved him. I told him how sorry I was and he was still cold with me even though his situation was and still is the same as it was when I met him in 2003.After so long ,I gave up and every time I let it go he would start back calling me. He seems to call me mostly when he is working and talk about five or ten minutes and say he has to go and he will call me back. That may turn into two days later. When I talk to him again and ask why he didn't call back, he tells me He got busy or he was tired when he got off. He always has an excuse and expects me to accept what ever he says, then has the nerve to say he loves me and has not bought me a gift in years since this happened.He said he couldn't. even afford to buy himself a pair of pants and week before he told me he would give the dealer ship $3000 to pay down on a car.I feel like he is playing games because I dated someone else in 2007. I have tried to be fair and reasonable with him but my way seems to be wrong . His living situation is still the same and he doesn't seem to care anything about how I feel.I don't see how he could be so uncaring and evil after what I've been throught with him. If he calls every fve days and talk for five minutes he expects me to accept that. Sould I stop talking to him for good?
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divorce, fell in love, married man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 February 2010):
 Honey, wake up and smell the coffee... HE IS STILL MARRIED!
He doesn't want to marry you or be with you, he jsut want you on the side. You know all this so where is my question to you....
Why are you letting a guy treat you like this?
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (25 February 2010):
Oh my goodness! He started up with you based on a lie... and 7 years later he's still stringing you on with excuses? Does his wife know they are getting divorced I wonder? Honey, I think you should change your phone number so he can't contact you anymore, and move on with your life.
Even if he did leave his wife, I doubt you would find any happiness with this man. He lies, he's immature and stubborn when he can't get his own way, and he's clearly not looking out for your best interests. I'm so sorry.
I know you have a lot of time invested in him, but seriously you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 He is playing games, he has no intention of divorcing his wife, he has no intention of any committment to you, he is not a nice man, he is an asshat, you should turn and run, dont walk as far as you can get from him.
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A
male
reader, Shashi  +, writes (25 February 2010):
As you have clearly surmised, this gentleman is just playing around with you. You are his "passing cloud". You must dump this guy and tell him not to contact you ever again. I mean half of your life's already gone, the other half should be fun and there should be family, etc. So go back to the dating circuit and find a decent bloke who really cares for you. I would advice being circumspect in finding a new partner. The most important need of the hour for you is TO STOP TALKING TO THIS MAN FOR GOOD. This is the sanest advice any person can give. Move ahead in life...
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (25 February 2010):
 Yes, you should stop talking to him and try to forget you ever knew him. A married man who cheats on his wife will say ANYTHING to get you to sleep with him. Don't believe any of his lies. In the end, no matter what he says, he'll still be going home to his wife. My friend went through this with a married man for 10 years before she finally "woke up". Don't waste your time on this guy!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 February 2010):
Simply put, he is a liar and a cheat. The reason he is co uncaring is because you had the nerve to turn him down when he was married. Now he's just a git and is STILL married to his wife, surprise. Yes, cut all contact. You won't be happy unless you do. Don't be a sucker for all the rubbish married men will tell you.
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