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So many years together. So how could my husband move on so quickly and easily to a new woman?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 August 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *eadow writes:

why did my husband who i have been with for 21years leave me and then started seeing someone weeks later.

View related questions: move on

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (15 August 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWhile it's possible - even likely - that hubby had "someone" waiting in the wings...... it's universally true that we guys think ONLY up to the next time that we can have s*x with a (some) woman..... so there is NO "grieving time" after a separation.... just us setting out for our next conquest....

Consider it something like a python who has just swallowed a rabbit... He doesn't sit around dabbing at his lips with his napkin and thinking about what a tasty treat the rabbit was.... instead, he slithers off in search of his NEXT rabbit, or whatever he will happen upon that he can consume.....

Good luck....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012):

"why did my husband who i have been with for 21years leave me and then started seeing someone weeks later."

Sorry, but most likely he was seeing her for months in advance and the two of them were just setting up the right time for him to dump you for her.

They deserve each other, you deserve better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012):

He obviously wasn't happy, and possibly hasn't been for a long time if he found it so easy to move on with someone else, and not give you a second thought.

I guess there's one positive way you could look at this situation, and that is now you know he wasn't happy in the marriage, there was absolutely no chance you could have been happy either, and things were never destined to work out if there was no happiness.

So in a way, the best thing that could have happened, has happened.

I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, but I'm just trying to look at some facts since there's not much info given for me to give better feedback.

It has to be a better situation to be out of a flawed relationship and have the chance to start again when you're ready, than to be stuck in a never ending one that was never going anywhere.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012):

Not many men leave unless they have a replacement lined up.

Focus on your life now and what you can do that you always wanted to. Its a new beginning for you so embrace it. My guess is your ex will find the grass wasnt greener but by then you will be beyond caring,happier without him

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe he really mentally left the marriage long time ago and was ready to move on?

Or.. he is one of those people who thinks jumping STRAIGHT into a new relationship will make everything better.

Could be an ego thing. You know pride? "I still got it"....

We all move in different speeds. Seems like he moves at lightning speed when it comes to dating.

As hard as it is to witness, try to not focus on him and his actions, but focus on yourself and moving on. He left YOU.. HIS loss.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012):

Lots of things it could be.

A rebound, he could have been seeing her a while before he left or she could be just his comfort buddy.

It's no use to speculate really OP, if he can just leave and run off to some other woman straight away then you're better off without him.

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