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So, girls--is anal sex pleasurable for the female? Is there a lot of pain?

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Question - (18 February 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *eHereNow writes:

So, um, girls...is anal sex any fun?

I am considering having anal sex with my boyfriend sometime in future, depending on whether or not he can get me drunk enough to do it. I'd like to know if the female experiences any pleasure - I've heard that it can be pleasurable and the female can even have an orgasm. Is this true? If so, please describe what exactly you feel is pleasurable about it! I'd also like to know how painful it is, what that pain feels like, if it's just painful the first time, if there is a lot of blood or if I should just hire a hooker for his birthday.

View related questions: anal sex, drunk, escort, orgasm

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A male reader, MoMan United States +, writes (24 February 2010):

My wife wanted to experiment with it, and brought it up. We loved it, but it took time. We just did it the first time, using lube, and she said it hurt some, even going slow. So weeks later I finger her ass, the first week just 1 finger in each hole til she cums, using lube in her behind. Then I slowly use just 2 fingers in her ass with lube, no pussy fingering. Then 2 in ass and 1 in pussy the third week. Then I tried a vibrator - a thin one smaller than me, in her ass. Then I did her ass, about 4 weeks later, very slowly. We tried a vibrator in her pussy after a few times in just her ass, and she came. We reversed that and she came. Eventually she came from me hitting her g-spot from the ass side. Its a very thin wall of skin between your pussy and your ass. Now we do it about 1 in 3 times and her orgasms are great in both openings. I've even done the no-no of doing both openings, alternate thrusts. She never got an infection and loved it, but everyone says its dangerous. Hard to say no when you're both exited though. You don't want to be drunk. Good luck.

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A female reader, brandieannette United States +, writes (11 November 2008):

I actually had anal sex long before I had vaginal intercourse, and I must say I enjoy them both about as much. It was somewhat painful for me the first couple of times, but it was partly because of the position and partly nerves. We tried the traditional doggy-style at first, but we ended up lying on our sides, kind of spooning, which worked much better (with the added bonus: he can hold you if you want to wait for a minute and start again, or stop completely). It takes a lot of patience and communication at first, and getting started usually takes the longest for me. You definitely want to use some kind of lubricant (my boyfriend and I don't actually like the feel of it though, so I usually give him a blowjob beforehand). Experiment with what you like. I've found the best way to get ready for it, is for him to play with me first, with well-lubed fingers. Hope this helps, and have fun!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

IT IS SO PAINFUL! I tried anal sex just last night with my boyfriend, given it was kinda in the moment so we didn't use any lubriction. But as soon as he entered it absolutly killed and I cried afterward because the pain didn't faid for at least 5 minutes. I guess if you are very open and willing to suck it up till it doesn't hurt anymore it may be nice. Just judging from my experience 1. it hurt a great deal and 2. I didn't like the feeling in the least, if felt unnatural and odd.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

Let's get a few things in order,

1, if you can poop then you can have anal sex without pain.

2, lube helps keep friction down, do you remember indian burns.

3, Toys do not stretch you out, you relax and let them in, or they tear you in some way, same for a penis.

4, Yes, girls are known to like anal, I have yet to meet one that wants only anal. My wife likes to keep all things evenly used. (you haven't gone back there in a while, can I get some).

You need to think about getting some good lube.

Relax and have fun with your boyfriends stuff in your rear, try missionary first.

You can decide to like anal or hate anal based on what you read, but until you have had a penis ejaculate in your rear try not to make that choice.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007):

You have to make things pleasurable your self. Take enema befor analings, use enough lubes and put it slowly inside and than penetrate its amaging.

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A female reader, BeHereNow United States +, writes (22 February 2007):

BeHereNow is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BeHereNow agony auntThanks, Easass23! That really helps. Now get your wife to post here.

Actually, I was kidding about the hooker and the clonopin and all that. I'm very much in love with this guy; he's the sweetest, gentlest, best guy I've ever been with, which is why I'm considering doing it with him (other boyfriends have requested it and I always turned them down). My b.f. says the reason he likes it is because it's "tighter" and he also likes "the view." He's never pestered me about it, but knowing that he gets off on it makes me want to do it with him...especially if it will be pleasurable for me! Anyway the hooker's too expensive.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntNever tried it, never will...get the hooker.

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A female reader, Psyche United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

Get a new boyfriend if he is pushing for anal sex. How insulting. If it is something you genuinly want to do then that is one thing, but it sounds like you are going to use your body, painful or not, to solely get him off.

Its fun to try new things but there always has to be a mutual desire for it. If your boyfriend is unsatisfied with regular sex, then my guess is he watches too much porn, and more importantly, he isn't trying very hard to be intimate with you. Really good sex isn't about what hole you use, but the intention behind the action. When you are deeply connected even missionary is beyond amazing.

I have tried anal and for me, it just felt like i was being used. Obviously some people love it and in cases of homosexuality it is standard. But then again, I refer back to both people in the relationship deisring it equally.

The comment about getting a hooker is what is making me question his loyalty to you. Im sure it is gest... but seriously, is getting your bf off in ways that don't include getting you off really the best gift you can come up with for his birthday?

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A male reader, easass23 United States +, writes (19 February 2007):

My wife hated anal for a long time, thought it too uncomfortable and painful (likely too dirty as well). Then I got a really good lube (Elbow Grease) and used my finger in her rear while giving her oral (I had done it before, but I guess she was more relaxed). She started loving it. Then we did it more and progressed to intercourse and she has had orgasms from only anal stimulation. Good for me cause its my biggest turn on. ;)

We've talked about it and she loves the "full" feeling of anal. She said that during a vaginal orgasm she feels like she wants MORE (bigger, deeper, etc), but that during the anal orgasm she has that perfectly full feeling the whole time.

There is never blood cause we take it very slow until she relaxes (usually start with her on top so she can slowly ease it in). Once you relax you can take it fast. To be honest I have never heard her make noises vaginally that she does anally, and she does have stronger orgasms. Use a condom to protect both partners, lots of lube (lots), and unless you use an enema ahead of time it can be a (little) messy.

Your rectum has a TON of nerves. Like all nerves, they can register both pleasure and pain. The deal is that at first they can register pain and it will likely be a little uncomfortable. Give it TIME and relax, once the nerves get over the pain/discomfort, the pleasure will be extreme. Be patient.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007):

Sometimes it seems like people just want stories to wank to.

I found it pleausureable and have to say that when you feel a connection to someone and love and trust in them; pretty much anything you try and explore will bring positive and pleasureable results.

I say relax, lube, and take the time to adjust. Try smaller inserts to stretch it out. It may take many attempts before he can penetrate and before you become comfortable with it and can relax and enjoy.

Best Wishes.

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A female reader, BeHereNow United States +, writes (18 February 2007):

BeHereNow is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BeHereNow agony auntThanks, everyone. If I do do it, I'll pop a few clonopin to relax and warn my b.f. if he hears me sobbing he should probably stop with the sodomy. I'm still curious about this thing I hear about some women having orgasms during anal sex! I keep hearing it secondhand. So if any women out there enjoy it and even have orgasms while doing it, please let me know how why it's arousing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007):

It depends on the women. I know some women that LOVE anal sex, one girl I know told me she prefers anal sex because it's a sure thing for her to have an orgasm. But, I also know some women that have either tried it and hate it, either because of pain, or the feeling (they describe as as feeling like they are using the bathroom) and then others that don't want, nor ever will, try it because they feel it's dirty.

I think pleasure with anal sex (and sex in general) in women is far more psychological rather than physical - a man can reach orgasm through anal sex through the stimulation of the prostate gland so it can be more understood but women can not be stimulated in the same way.

Definitely depends on the women then..

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A female reader, Mistiwood Switzerland +, writes (18 February 2007):

if you are asking if it hurts or not then you are not ready to do it. yes it hurts but only if one, you are not relaxed enough and two if you do not use lubrication. So if you are getting tensed up about it then it will hurt, so my advice to you would be no, don't do it yet, wait until YOU want to do it, not him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007):

IT HURTS!!! the first time i tried it my boyfriend didnt use any lubrication and i cried it hurt so much, it felt as though id been stabbed. Then we tried again but this time with lube and it hurt just as much going in but then felt alright after a while but it didnt last long, it felt very uncomfortable. I didnt like it and i`ll never try it again because it brought me no pleasure at all.

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A female reader, BeHereNow United States +, writes (18 February 2007):

BeHereNow is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BeHereNow agony auntThanks, Doc. I checked out the sites and they were very informative. And somewhat gross. So unless some women write in to tell me about the pleasures and wonders of anal sex, I will be searching for a hooker that looks like me.

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (18 February 2007):

Dr. John agony auntOk, so I don't know how it feels first hand but from a doctor's point of view I just had to jump in here. The easiest way to give you the best amount of information on the subject is to have you check out the two websites I have supplied here.

They should tell you some of the risks involved as well as getting some if not all your other questions on the subject answered. Hope they help. Doc.

http://www.sextutor.com/analsex.shtml

http://www.talksexwithsue.com/analsex.html

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