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Why is my old emotional affair now mean then nice to me after all this time?

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 December 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

A few years back I had an emotional affair with this guy at work, needless to say he flip flops back and forth, nice to me, them rude, stand offish, then nice.

WELL, i tried real hard for peace before my transfer request, but I did not get transferred, so I tried over time for peace between us, but he did start being 'civil'. Recently, We'd pass jokes, and it seemed things were okay after time had passed...but now out of no where has 'flipped' again, and acts like he hates me, I can sense a rage in him.

Is his behavior is tied to linguering feelings-emotions or not? What do you think? needless to say, when I deal with him business related he now acts like he can't even deal with me, but then the other day, he budded into my question for someone else, and was sweet with the answer, even called me honey, as he does to all, then flipped mean again......I dont get it...Do You? What is his deal?? I think I will just stay away best i can... Any insight to his behavior after all this time??

This ties into an old post "why does my x-emotional affair start talking to me again after telling me good bye??" Thanks

View related questions: affair, at work

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

supermum agony auntThis is a difficult one. I must admit, I have no idea what an 'emotional' affair is.... however it seems he is blowing hot and cold becase he does not know how to deal with you.

So, I would just carry on as normal. If you bump into him, be polite, say hello etc etc, if you can, take any work problems to a different colleague, and just live your life as normal. If he is nice to you, try not to cling on to it and push it, just thank him and move on. Eventually things will become easier. He is just trying to work out where he stands with you.

Hope that made sense!

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