A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have really bad credit that I am working on. I don't want to tell my boyfriend but I think this is the one I will marry. I am sure we won't get married for well over a year, is it bad that I am keeping this information from him? I would rather just clean up as much as possible before letting him know, I am ashamed about it and want to do this on my own..
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (17 September 2008):
I'm happy to hear you mention the likelihood of marriage. In my un-scientific opinion, money matters - including the greed and selfishness that are often behind them - cause at least as many marriage problems as unfaithfulness, sexual coldness, disrespect or abuse.
I discussed some of these financial things in the thread "Should we get engaged?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-we-get-engaged.html ].
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): I guess I wasn't clear when I posted the question...there is no way my credit can effect his, nothing is in our names together and it isn't a lot of debt, $3000.00 it is just a bad score that I am building back up.. I don't lie, if he asked me directly I would tell him, but I am wondering if I should just offer the information..
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 As long as you're not planning on living together, its up to you. But if he is living with you and you have a bad credit score, he will end up with a bad credit score too. Does he have a right to know that?
I dont think its right to keep things like finances from someone that you're planning on having a serious relationship with. At the end of the day, i am very careful with money. I certainly haven't been careful all these yrs to go and get with someone that owes thousands. I might as well of had a good time in the past and expect someone else to take on half my debts if thats the case!
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): If you intend getting anything in joint names - bank account, mortgage, loans or whatever - then he should know about it because he'll then become responsible or liable for your debts if you become unable to pay them off. Financial institutions get back what they're owed from whoever is able to pay when things are set up in joint names. If you have bad credit it could affect his credit rating too.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (17 September 2008):
 I dont think you keeping this type of information is wrong, since although you are sure "he's the one", it is your personal information.
I wouldnt lie to him. If he asks if you are okay with regards to finances, tell him the truth that things are tight and that you have made mistakes but that you are busy sorting them out. I am sure he will appreciate the honesty you show him.
I dont tell my boyfriend about my finances, since they are MY finances, but at the same time, if he asks me a question and I feel he should know, I tell him. I dont see me lying to him, since if he doesnt ask the question, then he obviously doest want to know.
Just keep paying your bills and sort yourself out. As I say, dont lie to him and tell him the truth if he asks, but dont give up that type of information unless it directly affects him.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 September 2008):
Don't tell him until you need to.
Unless you are going to sign for a loan together or something (which is not likely) then he doesn't need to know.
Keep paying off your debts as much as you can and don't get anything in your joint name till after you are moved in together or married.
Don't lie to him, just don't tell him until something credit related comes up. Hopefully by that time you will have paid some things off and it will not be such a big thing.
Just don't take on any more debt, so don't let him talk you into any big purchases for a good long while.
Good Luck!! xx
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