A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm out with a guy for 7 months. In the beginning he would asked me out frequently and soon the outing would stop at about 3 months. I know he's doing that to get to know me first, get comfortable with me and when he reach that comfort zone, he doesn't want to go out anymore because he's broke and is trying to save moneyI understand that but once in a while I want to go out with him instead of just spending the time together at his home. He acted like my boyfriend and he say so he is my boyfriend but sometime I feel that he is not. He was a store manager making good money until he got layoff and now working for mini wage. He doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere with me because he have no money and is trying to save so he can become rich again. I feel sad for him that his life turned out this way; i understand his frustration but I would like him to enjoy life with what he is having now. He need to learn how and he won't do that. That is why sometime I feel that he need me only to keep him company and for sex only. When I confront him about that he said that is not true. He is a nice man, always do things what I asked him to do but the only thing he will not do is go out and enjoy his life with me. He defend that having fun cost money and stay inside is better and more healthier. I'm willing to pay but each time when I do pay, he paid me back, he doesn't want me to spend my money. I believe he think it's his duty to always pay for stuffs because he is a man. There are many times I'm upset and mad and want to cut him lose and so we argue but still stay together. One main concern is that I think he is using me for sex only because he doesn't know how to handle "no" and make me feel guilty that I have to give in. My question is, should I go with the flow and wait to see where this is going? Maybe when his life is more secure he will be better?
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female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (14 May 2012):
Try to think of free dates and suggest one. A picnic in the park. A trip to the museum.
And then after that - if you're just not feeling it - then move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): I understand you, I've been there before. Its really hard if your partner is too shallow and don't understand the word NO. The worst is that at the end they will do things or say something that will make you feel guilty and give in.
All you can do is to talk to him. Tell him what you feel(when you're having sex.) And if he deny it again. Maybe you can give him space to think.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (14 May 2012):
 You as in second person. He is a liar. If he wants it, he would make it happen as well.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (14 May 2012):
If he wants to go out with you and if you really wanted to go out with him, you would do FREE things that are fun!For example, I live in a beach city in the United States.I don't make that much money, and I take a woman out to the beach and buy her pizza and get to know her. Then, if the date goes well, I take her to a more private part of the beach if she would like, and we listen to the waves and talk all night. if something sexual happens, ok, if not, well I am having a good time anyway. The fact is, IF WE WANT IT, WE MAKE IT HAPPEN!You don't want it, so end it.
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