A
female
age
30-35,
*ove_hurtz
writes:Last summer, I went on a program where I met this guy. We weren't extremely close - we had some friends in common and talked once or twice, but we were never really good friends. But a few weeks after the program ended, he started texting me and sending me pictures from the program with inside jokes...it was very sweet, but completely unexpected, since I was never one of the girls he pursued. Since we've started talking, we've had a lot of fairly in depth discussions where he's offered me advice and things like that, although it seems like he's setting some kind of ground work for if and when we end up going to college together. For example, he's always encouraging me to pick the same school as him and asking if I'm really close to his new roommates' gf and telling me that even guys like him are capable of love in college (by that I mean guys who have had highschool flings while they have a gf). It seems like he may genuinely be trying to start something long term between us because he acts like such a good friend and is always encouraging me to date and things, but at the same time, he's flirting and wondering what other people from the program think of our texting (in a good way). How do you think I should interpret his behavior? Should I just see it as him being a player, or as an opportunity for a first real relationship in college, should I end up (for reasons outside of him) choosing his school?
View related questions:
flirt, player, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): You take it as it comes OP. Players are players they don't change for anyone and if you think he's a player in school wait until you see what happens in the hedonistic atmosphere of college.
OP never ignore a guys history, never, ever. It's who they are and they don't change, and they will certainly not change for you.
Don't think for one second that you're the only girl he texts and talks to like this. Don't think for one second that you're special in his eyes. He sent those pics to lots of girls that's how guys like him operate. They have to keep in practice and always have to a have a few girls on the go at once. They just can't live their lives without having a few girls to play with, flirt with, seduce and woo, when he gets to college it's just going to be a playground of loose women and parties, if you develop feelings for this guy and if you get into a relationship with him then you'll learn some valuable lessons about never dating a guy with a history like his.
OP you saw what he did to his other girlfriends he will do the same to you.
Is this your chance at a first real relationship? No, but it is your first chance to see how it is to be played and how good at this kind of thing players are. It will be a good lesson, you're going to have your heartbroken by him the more you get involved with him, but you'll learn a hell of a lot about players from the whole experience.
A player is a player is a player. This is all part of the game, they're exceptionally good at disarming girls. Trust me I was one for years. Don't mistake his attention, his flirting and deep conversations as a sign he really likes you, that's just what guys like him do when they're bored, they have time to and they actually just have to have girls like you to do that kind of thing with. You see our greatest challenge is to convince girls that we're not really like that or that was just a phase, or that we are ready for love and we think you may be the girl that changes us. You girls just lap that last one up, it's so easy to get girls once you learn how to play to their sense of romance, the notion that we're bad boys but you're so special, so different from other girls that we already feel like we've changed and will be good boys now. You see that's exactly what happens in the movies and it only happens in the movies.
|
