A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you know the difference between being in love and having a crush? I have feelings for my best friend but I don't know if it's love or just a very persistent crush, because I've felt attracted to him since last March. The intensity fluctuates a lot and at times I want nothing more than to be close to him and other times I don't feel much toward him at all. I always feel kind of tense (in that butterflies in your tum kind of way) around him though, even when I think about him. I don't know what this is or what's going on with me.
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female
reader, lovebird1  +, writes (12 May 2011):
Well, my definition is: A crush is an illusion created by too many hormones and a lot of imagination and it fades away as soon as you see who this person really is. Basically, there'll be a moment of disappointment and you realise ups no, that's not it.
Being in love means that the feeling of love survives some disappointments, and that you actually feel disappointment sometimes, because you see the person for real, and no one is perfect. But the feelings remain.
I admit it's a very clumsy definition, but it worked for me. I'd say you're in love cause you know him for a long time now. And you still got butterflies.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): They're actually the same thing, the only difference is that a crush is unrequited love, love that crushes you because you're not with him.
Sorry to say but the only way you'll know how much you love him is in the future when the feelings are completely gone.
You can do all the tests you want, you can think of all the things possible to find out, the fact remains crushes feel the exact same as love except you feel a lot more pain because you're not with him. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. The only way you'll find out is if you started dating him and you're feelings went away then it was just infatuation and not love, or when your feelings are resolved some other way in the future.
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 This is going to sound terrible, but it's not meant to be.
Ask yourself, if he got all crushed in a car accident would I still have a crush for him?
I have ex's that to this day no matter what they look like or what happens to them, I will love and respect them forever.
I'd push them around in a wheel chair and wipe the dribble where there use to be lips.
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