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Should I have affair with the hot 21 year-old or stay faithfull to my wife who has recently gone off sex?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 April 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I will make this short and sweet.My wife and i have not had sexx in over three months and all we do is work come home eat and go to bed with some ammenities in between.We work at the same place but we don't see ach other till the end of the day. So i was asked by a co worker of mine if she and i could get together nad see what happens.I told her i would have to think about i dont want to cheat but then again this woman is hot as hell and my wife doesnt really try to be affectionate.Yes i have tried everything even asking her what she wanted, but nothing. So should i have an affair with this 21 yrold woman or stay faithfull to my 33 yrold wife, i am 26 so horny is my middle name.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):

Are you in control of your life or is your wife? Dude cheating is cheating is cheating. Sure your pissed at your wife, who wouldn't be, the woman you love has reduced you to f*cking your fist instead of her. Tell her to get on the job and get busy or you're leaving. No one deserves a sexless marriage. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE. But you need to try and fix it with her FIRST. If that doesn't work leave and hook up with your 21 year old hottie. That is the right way to do this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):

Don't you dare that is horrble and life destroying, like someone said what if you found it was your wife being chased by the 21 yr old guy! Work it out! or end it for the poor woman. Man i can't believe it, amagine her face and her broken heart as she found out!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008):

Don't have an affair, instead, tell your wife your horny and want sex with her tonight, leave a text message if you have to to break the ice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

You are proposing to set a 'bomb off' in your marriage and you are asking us if you should have an affair?? What we say may not make a difference, but if you are asking for our permission to press the detonator, the answer is NO. The truth is you want no-strings sex, you want this flirtation and the thrill of pursuit, and you don't care what that does to your own marriage...all because 'you want' something. I would state, that you need to work on yourself. And your marriage is having problems. Get into marriage counseling and figure out how you and your wife can become more caring and loving towards each other.

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2008):

BigSis agony auntYou say you're 26, yet your age is showing as 36-40. Which is it?

Stay faithful to your wife, have a heart to heart with her, and find out exactly why you two are not intimate anymore.

Be flattered that you've attracted a hot 21 year old, and just leave it at that. You will have this on your conscience and regret it if you go through with it.

So, if you value your marriage and love your wife, then remain faithful and work it out with her.

BigSis

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A female reader, louweez23 United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2008):

louweez23 agony auntIt all depends on whether you want to wreck your life or not.

As the wife whose husband chose the woman at work all I can tell you is it hurts like hell. It cuts like a knife and you feel like your guts are being ripped out.

If you love your wife why would you want to hurt her like that?

Do you believe adultery is wrong? Is that one of your core values? If it is, then if you have sex with this woman at work please tell me how you are going to go to bed at night and sleep? How are you going to be able to look at your self in the mirror? It is hard to be a happy person if you're not a decent person.

The honest thing to do would be to impress on your wife how desperate you feel and suggest counselling. If she won't listen then tell her you're going to divorce her. If she still won't listen do it.

That is the honest thing to do. You end one relationship before starting another.

If you don't want a relationship with this woman at work, if all you want is sex, you're using her. You are using another human being.

So all in all if you choose to have sex with the other woman you will make yourself an adulterer and a user. Is that who you are? Is that who you want to be?

Do not sell your soul for the sake of following your impulses. Do the decent thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

I think the worse thing a man can do is cheat on his whife.

When you got married you promised her to stay faitfull through good times and bad times. If you love your wife, then you wont even consider cheating on her with a hot 21 year old or not. Maybe something is on her mind and you just need to take the time out from chating up other women to make your wife feel special and listen if she wants to talk. If my husband ever cheat on me, I will leave him. Can you see your life without your wife in it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

first i'd say dont think in terms of shall i have an affair..think in terms of is being with my wife really what i want if i'm considering going off with another women. You love this lady enough to have married her.. so respect her feelings and dont betray her. Talk to her about how you feel, as it sounds like you havent discussed the no sex issue and see where that leads. you could cheat and have great sex but at the risk of destroying your marriage and her trust in you.. so way up your options in your head and if your leaning towards risking it all then i think heart is telling you being with you wife isn't really what you want. remeber you can never go wrong if you follow what you feel x

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A female reader, anddrea United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2008):

anddrea agony aunti hope that your wife maybe considerung having hot sex with a hot 21 yr old, how would you feel? would you be happy that she would even consider it? i think not! If your unhappy in your relationship tell your wife, do not cheat, its a cowards way out! you either tell your wife its over or make her feel special get her in the mood for sex run her a hot bath help her unwind have a few glasses of wine and then make a move on the woman oyu love! or are suposed to love! Thats what you should be really asking yourself, Do i stil, love my wife and want to be with her or do i want to end it and make a fresh start?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

Marriage are problems! everyone goes through a dry patch and this is yours. I dont see how you done everything, start being romantic too her. Light some candles around the room, cook her a meal. Not that hard

Simply you shouldn't be married if you can't keep it in your pants so to speak, if you can't be faithful then tell your wife what your planning and let her find someone else. Properly someone a bit more mature

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

You signed a contract to stay faithful the day you signed your marraige certificate.. therefore faithful should be up there alongside horny as your middle name!.

You really can't do both - if you have tried eveything to get your marraige back on track then maybe you and your wife need to sit down and lay all your cards on the table.. if its not working don't drag it out.

Think with your brain not your, well.. you know what I mean.. this girl is 21 she may only want a bit of fun, if you leave your wife for her it may not last, and then if your wife has sense she won't take you back.

If you love your wife and enjoy the security of being married then go flat out to save it.

But as much as it sounds like fun to you you can't do both, although I guess you might but I reckon life could prove very difficult for you in the end if you do?

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