A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!)As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is my only way of having physical contact with a woman (other than going out and finding a girlfriend etc- hey I'm a male!), I am thinking of seeing a prostitute in an adult venue here where I live.Do you think I should do this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThought i update this question. Well, about 3 weeks ago, i decided to visit one of the 3 or 4 'Bordello's' in my town and have now been a handful of times between them. That works out about 5 different girls so far. From what i have seen, these girls are young (19-24), very sexy, look after themselves well, very clean (and expect that of us), pretty much have sex on a part time basis (most are students or working in this work for the extra money and have other income), and some are very intelligent and good conversationalists.
They also seem to be very well looked after by the Management of the brothels, have a reasonable amount of freedom and earn a good proportion of the money made from each visit (and so they should).
Im not saying that it is like that everywhere, however in my experience so far, these girls have not been forced into anything (except maybe financial necessity) and seem to enjoy what they do. Some of you will say that it is all an act, and maybe in a few cases here it is.
My view on this, is that everyone wins- me (for obvious reasons, although of course it is not cheap), the brothel owner and the girls.
The subject is of course a neverending debate, however i thought i'd add another two cents worth... since I started it and all...
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 "And to the women who look down upon men visiting prostitutes (like a couple of women in this topic) you clearly have zero empathy for what its like for men."
And you clearly have zero empathy for what it's like being a prostituted woman treated like a sex object and frequently being the subject of violent sexual assault. I'm not sure what the "it" you're referring to is, but whatever "it" is that makes men have to visit prostitutes, I don't really care since there's nothing that's important enough that it's worth putting women in abusive situations. Many ex-prostituted women I've spoken to call it pay per rape, and that's for a reason. Even the women who "like" what they do almost all have a story about being raped or beaten, usually more than once. Make no mistake, these women don't want to have sex with you and they don't like you.
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male
reader, Mitchell1978  +, writes (21 July 2011):
You said its was the best sex you ever had so there you have your answer! And to the women who look down upon men visiting prostitutes (like a couple of women in this topic) you clearly have zero empathy for what its like for men.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): why did you go to prostitute in the first place? And do you have any plans settling down?
If you went there because you're extremely sexually frustrated, and if you ever plan to have a female life partner in the future... bury your past and move on. Don't go back to prostitution.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 July 2011):
I'm going to go ahead and give you the same little speech I give on all questions about prostitution on this site:
Before you have sex with a prostitute you should know what life for a prostituted woman is like. The vast majority of prostitutes hate it and would leave if they had the means to do so. The reason the prostituted woman you visited looked like a porn star is because she might have been one as that is a common place for ex-porn actresses to end up.
70-90% of prostituted women were sexually abused before entering and the majority of them are abused while being prostitutes. 68% of prostituted women leave prostitution with PTSD (for comparison combat veterans experience PTSD at a rate of 48%). 1 in 500 prostituted women will be murdered.
Here's a great article about it in Ireland:
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/features/2010/0830/1224277854132.html
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes if I did go I would definitely use protection, and Im sure she would insist on it anyway. So far, I havn't been - I guess its different in your'e home town, whereas when i went when overseas i barely gave it a second thought. This was partly due to how appealing this woman was (ie perfect, in my eyes) and the fact that perhaps I think that no one in my home town will be able to live up to the same standard.
I still may make the effort at some stage, when the situation's right
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Use protection, you don't know if they potentially have a STI or STD.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm enjoying all your comments, some of you have put a lot of thought into your answers, thanks again.
It's not that I dont want a partner, its that I am a bit of an introvert and not overly social, so dont get out and meet them much. Usually my only contact with women is through work, and have for the most part a good rapport with them, although the opportunity for relationships are next to nil due to all being married, engaged, in relationships etc.
...and yes, the fear of rejection and sheer laziness at not wanting to go though the whole 'process' is a factor indeed.
Of couse I would be keeping this skeleton in the closet, as Im sure anyone would! I still do not think there is anything wrong with it- If I want to pay and someone else is happy to provide the service I dont see a problem.
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reader, dudeology  +, writes (22 April 2011):
a football player told me once: I dont pay a hooker for sex, I pay her to go away after. I thought that was hilarious and true. some people work alot, dont want to do the tedious dating scene (which is totallyu tedious from a guys perspective). in western culture we have the medevil knight singing to the fair princess and mabe in a year she will kiss him. in reality, many turn out to be a pig who is lazy and mooches off "her man". for a guy, mostly, sex is just sex. and as for the "The vast majority are there because they have no other options for money. So do you really want to be having sex with someone who hates (not dislikes but probably hates) having sex with you? Most strippers and prostitutes say they have to imagine physically hurting their clients to make it through a day." that is BS. I'm sure the street walkin crack whore is like that and her johns are probably not far off but there is the escort services which are women who have 1) jobs on the side, 2) sometimes date too, 3) refuse if they want. 4) are not trafficked. women expect too much out of simple men who want to 1) work, 2) get laid, 3) have a family and done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): It think it would be interesting to compare with the answers given in this thread:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-the-mind-of-a-woman-like.html
Both the questionmaker and the Aunts give quite diffenent perspectives to this issue than what is given in the thread here.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 April 2011):
I second Moon River. Most women would find it repulsive in a man to know he visited a prostitute. So if you plan on dating ever again in the future, it would be a good idea to not visit them. Further, you never know under what circumstances that women went into prostitution. She could have been trafficked, meaning every time she had a client she was basically raped. The vast majority are there because they have no other options for money. So do you really want to be having sex with someone who hates (not dislikes but probably hates) having sex with you? Most strippers and prostitutes say they have to imagine physically hurting their clients to make it through a day.
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reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 April 2011):
I'd assume a man would want more than just a bj from a prostitute in which it's going to cost him a lot more than $50.
It's not that expensive to court a woman in a bar, if you're feeding her the specials. After that she's too drunk to notice that you've switched to buying her cheap tequila instead of Patron. I believe a $70 bar tab is a lot cheaper than the $100+ sex you're paying for from a hooker. (Never paid for a hooker, seeing as I'm a straight woman, but I know they're not cheap) Unless you have a huge wart growing out of your head, it's not that difficult to pick up women in a bar, I go out with a ton of willing ladies every weekend. It's just the fact that you don't want to put in the effort, or do you want to face the potential rejection. You just want to skip the middle woman and go right to forking over big bucks for the goal.
It's your choice, do what you want. A piece of advice for the future is when you happen to get into a relationship/marriage then I would keep this skeleton in your closet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): I would say that you should hold off paying for a hooker and get out into the club scene. There are plenty of girls like myself that enjoy one night stands with guys that pick us up at the clubs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question...and to Flynn 24- my sentiments exactly! - funnily enough, you are not the first person to say that to me in the last week weeks, and I agree wholeheartedly ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, yes, of course whats done is done and I will make my own decisions in life, but ws interested in hearing various view on the subject.
It's not as easy as it sounds, getting sex for free (or a partner, for that matter). There seems to be a misconception that anyone can get a partner. If that was the case whay are there so many single people in the world? I know. The old saying 'all the good ones are taken' comes to mind and I'm not prepared to rush into a relationship 'just because everyone else is' etc etc.
But that could be the subject of another question on DearCupid...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): I'd like to say, whoever said 'why pay for something you can get for free?' and then noted $50 for a blowjob... do realise how expensive it is to court a woman in a damn bar, not to mention there is no guarantee she is even interested and that isn't just using you for drinks.All in all, it works out cheaper to seek out a prostitute than it is to spend hundreds of dollars a week on jewellery, dates, clothes, movies, dinners (which most men, even today are expected to front the entire amount for during courting, no matter how modern the woman) and thats before sex even enters the equation.Is it really so difficult to believe a guy might want to bypass all the bullshit and get straight to the nookie for once? Even if it is only once, when he's in a lonely city and is not involved with anyone at the time?And 50 bucks for a blowjob... that better be the Nuke of blowjobs then.Flynn 24
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reader, msnewbeginning +, writes (20 April 2011):
 If that is your what you desire? But if you find a woman, then you can possibly find love and get sex!
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reader, Myau  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 The real question here is why dont you want a gf?
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female
reader, moon river  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 As a woman I would never date a man who had EVER paid for sex. I find men that do it the most repulsive sleazy disrespectful things alive. A lot of women feel this way, so hate to break it to you but you might as well just empty your wallets out now whilst you still can because you are turning your self into a repulsive human being who with morals like that no wonder your not in a relationship.
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reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 April 2011):
Why pay for something you can get for free?? You can just as easily go to a bar and take home a girl for a one night stand, rather than $50 for just a bj.
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reader, dirtball +, writes (19 April 2011):
 No. But it's up to you how you live your life.
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reader, serenity80 +, writes (19 April 2011):
Well you've already done it, so why are you trying to seek validation on here by people who don't even know you? You're in your 40's.. old enough to make your own choices in life.
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