A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three months. She is 18 and im 22. My problem is that we dont seem to talk very much. I am naturally quite quiet and she is too I suppose, but I just wonder if this is normal. I see my friends with their gf's and they are always chatting away. Me and my girl seem to struggle sometimes to find stuff to say. We do text alot and its not as if we dont talk at all when we are out. But last night for example, we went out for some drinks together and again we sorta struggled to find stuff to say--or at least that is how it seemed to me. She yawned alot as well and at times was just staring out of the window like she was bored. What could be the reason for this? There isn't a huge age gap between us so its not like we dont have stuff in common. She pursued me until i asked her out. She tells me she loves me. She says she wants to be with me. I want to be with her. But sometimes the lack of talking worries me. We havent had sex yet, as she is still a virgin and wants to wait a bit, which im fine with. Could this be affecting us? I dont know. Is this normal? Or should i just end the relationship as at times there doesn't seem to be any "spark" between us?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 June 2013):
 P.S. Another way to handle this matter is to learn Braille....
My G/F and I "communicate" with that "language" all the time... even when the lights are out!!!!
Try that, some time. It doesn't really matter if either of you is "fluent"... since the message gets through, somehow... no matter....
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (23 June 2013):
 Have you only started feeling weird about this because you're measuring your relationship against your friends' relationships?I've known a few couples who can sit in the same room together for hours without saying more than a few words to each other. I remember reading that married couples talk for an average of - get this - about 8 minutes a day. Only eight minutes in a twenty four hour day! Sometimes it's just having the other's company that's satisfying.But you two aren't a married couple, and it doesn't sound like you've been dating for more than a few months. If you believe that you're lack of talking is because you don't have "that spark" or a lot in common, then it's time to ask yourself why you really want to be in a relationship with this girl. Is it just that you want to have a girlfriend, and you are willing to accept anyone who kinda-sorta clicks with you? Would you two be better as friends?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 June 2013):
 You are not wrong in feeling this way. I am not a talker but I can't stand a loud incessant chatter either. I always sit and listen to other people and wonder what is there to talk about. For some people it takes them effort to shut up while for me to open my mouth is an effort. My opinion is that if neither of you are talkers, then you got to be doers. Sitting around watching a movie does not count. Don't wait for her to decide what she wants to do. If you want to go to mini golfing then do so. Go visit another town. I also agree with what sageoldguy says. A lot of people talk just because they can't deal with silence. Learn the art and gold of silence and just truly enjoy each other's company. If that's the only thing wrong in the relationship, you will throw away something that has potential to grow just because you are comparing with other people. You have to invent your own spark. There is no text book definition of what spark means.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 June 2013):
This submittal reminds me of a bit in the movie "Best in Show".... in which a young, busty, enticing woman has married a one-step-from-the-grave old codger.... and she is describing their relationship:
"We love being together... and we don't even have to speak. We can spend HOURS together, talking... or not talking....."
Don't confuse "talking" with "enjoying one-another's company".....
Good luck....
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