A
male
age
41-50,
*ostSoul222
writes:Well this is kind of a follow up but new problem. my girlfriend and i been having few problems of late. we still love each other but something obviously wrong though. i lied to her over something silly to avoid an argument over a new male friend she has had for 6 weeks. i know something wrong but she wont tell me saying everything fine. now tonight she says there is something but she not been lying just too depressed to tell me. (she does suffer from depression which i sensitive to). i think it over this new friend which i jealous of. now i find out she gone out with him tonight. why she not talk to me? she been hiding her texts to him and one she sends when we together. her friend knows we going thru tough patch and i think any real friend with our interests at heart would give us time and space but he invited her out 3 times this week. i know he likes her but she just wont listen to me. i know what he trying to do. or do i? am i being paranoid? help? tried talking but not working. help please
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Hunny I no you want to talk more anyone would, The only way you are going to find out if she is true to you is to stay alert but try to keep busy for awhile (not long give it time) If she misses you maybe this will make her think..There are no 100% on this one it could and can go either way but if you come across as desperate she can and will do what she wants as she wont need to worry about you as you are already worrying enough for the both of you and she knows this hunny, Think about everything thats happened and then casually ring her and ask to take her out love..I do hope things settle back down for you TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
male
reader, LostSoul222 +, writes (28 July 2008):
LostSoul222 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks mandy. never thought of it like that before. am trying to carry on as tho nothing wrong but was before when i asked her out tonight she said didnt know what she doing. then said didnt know which option to choose. i asked what options were n she said to go out with me, her best friend (female) or this new male friend. she chose him and that really hurt me. felt so sad and i told her i did. u think i should ignore or what? how can i carry on as normal? think what you saying true but just need talk some more as think you may be able to help. thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): hi sorry that your in this mess, to me when i was reading that it felt like you was exzasted from all of it maybe.
i think i know what he is upto aswell.
you have to be careful with other men, i have read that men and women CARN'T be friends, i have read that on a site about human behaviour.
i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and in that time alot of men have tryed it on with me, and they all know i have a boyfriend.
yes he probably does fanncy her and is most likely trying to get her.
BUT, if she loves and respects you enought then she won't want to do anything with this man, and if she does anything then she is not worth you obviously, she simply couldn't care enought for you id geuss.
if she is being secrative then that is a bit dogy i recon.
you could try talking to her calmy saying how it's hurting to you, think she would be able to understand you better than shouting, or you could say i would love to hang out with the two of you for the night.
you should try talking to her saying that you feel like your missing out on her.
just dn't start screaming and baling at her, that is the worst thing you could do, that will push her right into the arms of this man, that is a sure fine way to see her run into the arms of this night in shinning armar, that is how she will see it, i say just keep ur cool and tell her of ur pains. if she is nasty back then that is bad and maybe being mischeviouse.
if worst comes to worst get a detective, oh and dn't trust sectarive behaviour.
good luck i hope you get it sorted...
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (28 July 2008):
Hi Hunny
I can understand your worrys and concerns and Im going to say the more you tell her the more she may go out with him and not take you seriously, I no this may sound strange and I really do understand but if you two have been having problems and this person has come along Im afraid not with your best interests at heart love but in his mind hers, Then the more you go on the more she will go to him at this moment in time although this is wrong and is hurting you and you need to sort this out I think you need to think very carefully about how to go about it without pushing her his way.. If ya get me love, Not everyone may agree but when we are having problems sometimes we dont think and she isnt she isnt thinking of his motives, He is coming across as the good guy and you are coming across as the moaning guy (not that you are your worried and rightly so) Maybe try the reverse stop telling her not to go and try and act as normal as poss for awhile and see what happens. Get on with your life as happy as you possibly can keeping your eyes open of course hunny. She should fully understand what she is doing and this is not good on her part love, So you need to bide your time a little if she hasnt got time to listen to the one she loves but has to go out with this new found friend then she is blind to what is going on or is a willing person in what is going on Im afraid to say its one or another. Its a hard situation to be in but the more you tell her the more you will push her in his direction. If after awhile this does not calm down and she doesnt seem to understand what she is doing then hunny I feel you should then sit down and talk and tell her how it would feel if it was the other way round. She may be trying to get back at you for this lie you told but its a bit childish to say the least if your age is right at the top then you are both adult enough to try and work this one out together but at this moment she is pulling and you are pushing so give it a little time do some thinking as to how to talk with her in a better frame of mind and hopefully you two can work this out sweetheart I hope this helps a little its a hard situation to be in very hard I hope you get the chance to maybe take her out and sit and talk in a constructive way to overcome these problems and she understands your worrys and concerns, Lying doesnt really pay off in the end love so have a think and I hope you sort things out very soon TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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