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How can I get over the effects of prior sexual abuse?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *iccanWonder writes:

Hi.

I have just found out that a guy who i met on holiday sexually abused (unwanted touching, comments etc.)

i didnt know it was abuse until a recent event.

since then my flashblacks have occured more often, and my reaction is much higher than it used to be.

I'm a bit un-trusting with my current boyfriend after this happened, i know i can trust him, but i cant let myself trust him in a way that i want to.

How can i get over what happened, and try and stop the flashbacks occuring so often?

From Tasha

View related questions: on holiday

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (30 July 2008):

No you can still ring them :)

They help children with ANY problems, whether that be a child and adult relationship or a childs relationship with another child.

So give them a ring, they will really help. I was sexualy abusd and didnt seek counselling until a logn time after. I thought i could deal wiht it, but i coudlnt. It made it realy hard for me to be intimate with other people. So please get some help now.

Remember its not your fault!!

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A female reader, WiccanWonder United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2008):

WiccanWonder is verified as being by the original poster of the question

WiccanWonder agony auntdoes it make any difference that he was 14 or 15? because, i thought childline was only for adult to child problems....

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (28 July 2008):

I am very sorry for what happened to you. What you went through was a very very traumatic experience and you need to deal with what happened and your feelings, so you can move on.

Its not just something you can just 'get over', it takes time, and you need to talk to an adult about your feelngs, such as your mum/dad, teacher, doctor or even counsellor. There are LOTS of free counselling help lines you can ring al over the world. Im not sure of any in your area, but type into a google search something like 'help lines for abuse victims in england' or 'free counselling lines in england'.

I hope you seek further help because you will reall benfit from it.

I know what its like to be sexually abused, so if you want you can message me.

Take care and I hope heal from this soon

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008):

when i was young i was molested and that made intimacy issues very difficult. when id get close to a guy--kissing and touching--id just freak out and start crying.

i found talking to faceless ppl on the internet the best form of therapy. i know that sounds weird but talking about it and getting it out in the open really helped.

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A female reader, HonningKanin Norway +, writes (28 July 2008):

HonningKanin agony auntHello Tasha,

This is absolutely awful what has happened to you. The best thing to help you overcome what has happened to you is to talk to someone either your mother, father, or if you dont want them to know, abuse helpline like childline (0800 11 11). Dont let it stay bottled up because if you do the more you tend to think on it on your own which is not always the best thing.

There are people there who are willing to listen to you and help you overcome this.

Good luck

HonningKanin

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