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Should I be upset that he wants to go out for our Valentines dinner at the weekend?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2013)
A female , anonymous writes:

my boyfriend and i have been together for about 6 months.

Now its valentines day..i know he is trying to save money for a house and i am not materialistic in the sense where i expect us to go out to dinners all the time..i even contribute towards meals alot of times or even pay for a whole meal myself to treat him and show i appreciate him driving to get me or being stuck in traffic. We are also in our late twenties so i think in terms of us as a team more than me being wined and dined 24/7

he is very sweet with affection, texts, calls etc I can't complain at all.

my boyfriend isn't feeling well this morning..he did have a few drinks last night but also has some congestion as well. I feel sort of angry at him and at the friend that they had to drink the night before valentine's day so now he feels crappy today with me.

He asked if we would go to dinner this weekend rather than tonight because it will probably be crazy tonight. He said we can go to a movie or come back to his area to relax and watch a movie.

Is this something i should be upset about? I know he loves me very very much. It does seem rational that we can go to dinner this weekend and it wont be so crazy and we can enjoy it.

Is he also trying to save money b/c prices might be higher? i mentioned we would need a reservation if we went somewhere, we couldnt just go in tonight.

He asked if i felt let down or upset..and i am really not sure how i should feel since he is a good boyfriend overall and we would still be together tonight.

Am i overreacting?

View related questions: money, text

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A male reader, Silius Sodimus Australia +, writes (18 February 2013):

Stay away from the hype that is Valentines day. Why should one day be dedicated to treating your loved one when in reality EVERY DAY should be about treating your loved one. I mean you wouldn't expect a dozen roses every day but you know what I mean, you don't need an official day to show your love, that's just media/hallmark brainwashing. He offered to make it up to you and I think you should just be happy he cares that much. Like Honeypie said, it means so much more when the person you love does somethign not because society tells you to do so on a particular day, but because he chose a day he wanteed to please you.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (14 February 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntGive him a "pass".... go on your "valentine's day" date in a couple of days and enjoy yourselves..... this media B/S that has men and women fawning all over themselves to make sure to hit the big date on the big date is so much manufactured fluff that really doesn't deserve the attention that it gets....

Good luck....

P.S. Please don't ask me a similar question about Christmas... as that response takes more than 30 minutes to type!!!!!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (14 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI think you are over reacting. It’s not a big deal to me either… I want a card… that’s all.. we actually are going out to dinner and a movie and I’m dreading it…

He’s not feeling great and he gave you a great alternative…

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (14 February 2013):

You don't need to ask the internet to tell you if you should be upset. But since you did..... NO!

V-day is bullshit to say the least. The thought of going out to a romantic restaurant filled with guys feeling obligated to be affectionate to their women and hoping to get oral is really annoying.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013):

My fiance forgot it was Valentine's Day today. lol

I cuddled with him this morning, made him a nice breakfast and said Happy Valentine's Day. He looked shocked. I never heard if were going out tonight so I decided to make a dinner at home. He apologized and said he hadn't even gotten me a card yet.

I playfully told him that he still had time.

But, we did make plans for a trip to go to our favorite town for the weekend (it was his suggestion) so he was thinking ahead, only he forgot what day Valentine's Day actually landed on.

So have a nice dinner and a movie at home and snuggle together. That is much better than all the restaurant mayhem.

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A female reader, ihavetoomanythoughts Australia +, writes (14 February 2013):

ihavetoomanythoughts agony auntOverreacting I think. I don't think you should be angry about how he spent the day before because that's his time. It's unfortunate that it affected your together time but he's making it up to you giving you the bonus of going out to watch a movie. And I don't think he backed out cause he wanted to save money otherwise he wouldn't have offered to pay for movie tickets.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 February 2013):

Honeypie agony auntPersonally I don't give two F's about Valentine's Day. I'd rather have my husband show love and appreciation because HE wants to, not because some commercial holiday TELLS him that he SHOULD.

I know getting a reservation can be a pita on Feb. 14th and I can see why he rather wait and not go out on a crowded night.

You two can STILL share a nice intimate dinner at home, light some candles, put on some music. There are more ways to "celebrate" V-day then what the "traditions" tells you to do.

The way I see it, he RATHER spend the night with you, and you alone then every other "tosser" out there dining because they think THAT is what you do.

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A female reader, Sylph United States +, writes (14 February 2013):

Hi, i agree with the person who answered before me, it is natural to feel a bit disappointed, but do not make a big deal out of it.

I am a girl in a relationship, and I'm alone today because my bf and I have finals tomorrow and we have to study, and I'm quite happy because at least we are together.

For us, valentines is technically everyday of the year, because we love eachother and cherish eachother everyday, even when we are fine.

Your bf is sick right now, and he's short on money, the best thing you can do now is make a simple home cooled meal, set it on a table with some candles, a few dry roses scattered here and there, and make your bf feel better and less guilty. I bet he is going to make it up to you any time soon:)

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2013):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

I think your overreacting yes. He is being upfront and honest, and still offering a movie and spending time together so it's not like his trying to get out of seeing you. And trying to save for a desposit for a house/flat so prob feeling the strain. I think you should give him lots of pampering tonight, cozy up and watch a film, get a bottle of wine and just enjoy each others company. :)

Happy valentines day

Mandy x

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (14 February 2013):

person12345 agony auntI think it's OK to be a little disappointed, but I don't think it's worth making a deal over. It's kind of a silly holiday anyways... My boyfriend and I are waiting for the weekend to "celebrate" because we have work tomorrow and we've both totally forgotten to get each other anything.

How about you pick up some takeout (that includes dessert), go over to his place and watch a movie and cuddle on the couch?

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